Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas

...and she called His name Emmanuel, which interpreted means "God with us."

The pastor read this on Sunday and I read it just a moment ago. God has shown this promise SO many times this year. I don't write about it, but the church has sent us a check for varied amounts several times. God with us. It has always come at a time when we think there is no way the VISA bill will be paid (it has my deductible on it!). But God steps in as He always does and takes care of us.

God with us. At church I went without my wig. Suanne and many others encouraged me the week before, so I took the plunge and did it. It was awesome! I am always hugged at church, but this was very different this time. As always...God was with us. He uses so many people to make Himself known.

I was encouraged again just now. My brother sent me a video clip. Bing Crosby & David Bowie singing Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth. Yes, God makes Himself know through song as well.... could Doug have known that this is my all time favorite Christmas I used to cry through as it is so beautiful. It says "See the day of Glory." Look is always there, just look.

Merry Christmas. Thank you so much for such an awesome year. How great You are to be Emmanuel...God with us.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Graduation! No more port!

Seems strange...I wept after my biospies but did just fine following my port removal. God is good! I had THE most wonderful nurse. It took about 2 hours before I had the surgery done and once the doctor began start to finish was only about 20 minutes. Here is the procedure: I had to take everything off. Top and bra obviously, but earrings, necklace and jeans as well. The jeans had metal on them and you couldn't have any metal on you. So everything went into a large shopping bag. I laid on the gurney and she covered me up so I wouldn't get cold. I was offered an anxiety medication to calm me and make me drowsy. They order it standard for everyone so it can be given right away, but I waived mine. I asked if it would help with pain and the answer was no, so I said, Nah. Signed all the consent forms, then got prepped. First she did the alcohol swab all over my chest and neck. Strong stuff! Then, she put one of those large blue surgical blankets on me. It has an opening in it that goes over the port area. It also has some kind of sticky seal on it to keep it attached to your body. Oh yea, before this she put a ground on me. It was in a packet..she unwrapped was a large rectangular piece that attached to my right upper thigh. It was SOOOO cold! But they may use this machine to help get out the port and you needed to be grounded in case.

The doctor came in and explained what would happen and got started. First, he covered my face with the top of the blue blanket and said I wouldn't want to see the needles or knife or anything! I agreed!! He numbed the area with Lidocaine and said it would burn. I told him I had just had some yesterday! And yes, it burned again! He numbed it in several areas and started in. They go in through the same scar and said if needed they would make it a little longer. I could feel tugging and working, but no real pain. He did use the machine. It left a burnt smell and I could feel tapping as it did whatever it was doing! He asked if I was doing OK and I told him I was singing Christmas carols. Ever so often I would feel the tapping and say a short Ouch to let them know I could feel something! And immediately he would put in some more Lidocaine and tell me it would burn. lol He did have to make the incision a little longer and it eventually came out. He then stitched the area back up and put sterry strips over that.

Of course at the time it didn't hurt at all, but by the time we were headed back it ached. By the time we passed by the school (had to get ready for Christmas party) it ached a lot. Took some Tylenol and it got better, but it is VERY achy at the moment.

OH! MD is SO incredibly large. There are a zillion waiting rooms for both patients and family. Graland was waiting for me in the waiting room and when I came back out (from a different door) and called his name a man came up to us and said Hey neighbor! lol It was the fellow and his wife from down the street! The SAME waiting room! I couldn't believe it! So we visited for a while and gave the wife the rundown on what just happened. She was there to get a pit removed (had an infection and was taking antibiotics through it). I told her it wasn't bad at all.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

biopsy results

Our early day began with blood work and chest x-ray. With that done, we headed to the UltraSound floor for u/s on my thyroid. I have two nodes on either side of my thyroid. They prepped me for a fine needle biopsy, beginning with Lidocaine to numb the area. The Lidocaine is a small stick then a burn, then a big burn. OH, it burned! Then the needle goes in, some pressure, then I guess it gets swirled around?? At least that is what it sounded/felt like. After the first biopsy I had tears in my eyes. Then second one wasn't so bad as far as the Lidocaine part (which really was the "bad" part...not the actual biopsy). But the needle passed by tissue that was inflammed and it was very sensitive. By now, more tears, but not crying. I lifted the towel to dry my eyes and they realized I had tears. They asked if it hurt and I said No, just uncomfortable.

I had gone there with no anxiety or worries. Excited to get it behind me. In fact, as I was waiting in the room, I thought about MD and how there were no crying people there! For such a large hospital and every affected by cancer there, yet no crying. The doctors and nurses are so wonderful, put you at ease, and are very uplifting.

So here I am crying! My nurse came back in and put her arm around me and said "You don't have your results yet, you don't need to didn't look bad." As I waited I prayed and thanked my Father once again for His peace and calm. For being with me. And just as in my VERY first biopsy in Kingwood, I thought of the suffering Christ went through..and that what I was feeling...He had been through first for me. So I was thankful.

So my tears I suppose were of relief, thanksgiving, and just a weight maybe that I didn't realize was there. The doctor sent my biopsy off to pathology and they had her come back and do one of them again. ( one is about 2 cm and the other 3.5cm) The one came back clear, benign. The other they needed more tests as it had blood in it and it wasn't clear enough. So another biopsy. She put the needle on my neck and asked if it was sharp. Yes. Here? yes. Here? yes. So, we did the Lidocaine again, then the biopsy. This one was much gentler. The results of this second node came back benign as well. Praise God! There was a screen there for me to watch the procedure, but I wasn't interested and had no desire to watch, so closed my eyes instead.

Then off to the Infusion Therapy Treatment Pre-Procedure Assessment. She asked a lot of questions and said we were on for tomorrow. While she was going through my papers, I saw a xerox of my chest xray. It was so cool!! yet, creepy!! Here was my ribcage and all, and there was the port up near the shoulderblade..a larger than I had imagined port with a long tail behind it that hung down to about mid chest. I'll get the port removed tomorrow at 9, then will talk to SOMEONE???!!! I don't know WHO this person is or WHY I am seeing them! lol Guess I'll find out tomorrow!

oh, btw, they told me no lifting, no anything for the rest of the day, so I skipped out on therapy! Will see you guys next week!! :) Merry Christmas!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007


It is almost a month since the end of my last chemo and I think my hair is already starting to grow back! I shaved my legs last week for a test and sure enough...there is hair growing there! I've noticed it has already started growing back in other "areas" as well. AND...looks like I'm getting my eyelashes back and maybe some eyebrows.

Have to leave pretty early for tomorrow's appointments...will update then! :o)

Friday, December 14, 2007

yeah! nothing to report!!!

You know, that's gotta be a really GREAT thing when you don't have too much to report on! :) Still waiting for the fingernails to do their thing. I can see that the majority of the fingernails are now pulled away from the nail bed at least half way. It doesn't hurt and there is no sensation that I'm feeling or anything, BUT I'm being very careful with them so as not to pop them off! eck!

Can I just say that I am getting VERY good at drawing in my eyebrows! I mean, they are SO pretty! I am impressed that they look this good! You start to notice other people's eyebrows and how they are shaped...several ladies at school pluck or wax or just plain define their eyebrows and I have found a shape I like. Mine are partially above my bangs line, but they fit right in and are not noticeable. :)

Sunday, December 9, 2007


The eyelashes can officially be called "GONE" now! lol I am SO glad that I've always worn eyeliner. I told the little girls that my eyelashes were gone and had them look at it...always like hearing their comments! lol They said, No there's still some up there. I was like "No, those are eyebrows!!" Oh yeah! Abbie: wait... 4,5,6,7,8. She counts. I'm mistaken, I have 8 lashes left! That is close enough for me to call gone! I say you can't really tell it with the eyeliner. But OH MY WORD.... without liner! Yep! I look like I've been through chemo! :o)

Now, some would say, But you HAVE had chemo and it's natural to look that way. Yeah, you're right. And feel free to wear liner or not. I don't at home. But it's like I wouldn't go to Walmart without my lipstick either, so I see this as no different! yeah...still vain lol

So, in everything I do, whether it be eyeliner, eyebrow pencil, scarves, hats, or scarves...I don't feel the need to shout I had cancer! Nor am I wanting to cover it up. I've always worn hair, and frankly, it gets kinda cold without it! I am reminded of a verse that comes to me again and again:

From God's Word that says "Matthew 6:16": Moreover when ye fast, be not, as the hypocrites, of a sad countenance: for they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to fast. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. "17": But thou, when thou fastest, anoint thine head, and wash thy face; "18": That thou appear not unto men to fast, but unto thy Father which is in secret: and thy Father, which seeth in secret, shall reward thee openly.

I've always loved hats and God gave me the desire of my heart! I get to wear them anytime I want! lol On the other hand. Not sure if the hair I have now is staying or leaving, but at the moment it is a beautiful length! I was very tempted to go "natural" to church today...but knew I'd come home with a cold if I did! lol I find it very beautiful! Looking forward to the day when I go natural to school. But...I do keep a cold room, so will wait til it comes in a bit more. :o)

Zach comes home for Christmas break on Wednesday!! (((Zach)))

Friday, December 7, 2007


I am back to 3 days a week at therapy. Getting the lymphedema under control. Although I have to say that it is feeling better and not as tight lately. The compression machine is still not gone through is just a VERY expensive machine. I wouldn't doubt I get this thing under control and not need it before it comes through! Which that will be fine if that happens.

Bea about killed me the other day. She kinda laughed as we talked..she said "it's just the way it is...the lymph massage is so very gentle, but we need to work on the scars which is a little more intense and also to be stretched which is very aggressive!" So, she let me have it! She also let me borrow a book on lymphedema massage, which we subsequently bought from her. It is excellent. The household has been too sick to TRY any of it yet, but I look forward to starting the massage...some of it I can do easily at school.


I'm thinking I'm gonna be losing the nails. Where it was so dark and I kept feeling like they'd pop off if I scratched too hard...well, there IS a void under the nails. A couple of the nails are more prominent at the moment, so not sure if they'll all do this, but I assume they will. I showed them to Carla (nurse) and she said yes, she thought they looked like they were lifting up as well. I will probably have to wear band aids to keep the nail bed protected as it will obviously be sensitive without the nail there. The jury is still out with the toe nails. I'm not seeing it like I do with the fingernails.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

fever update

Went in again on Thursday with a fever. It was a little over 100. I took some Motrin and went ahead and went in. I figured if it got to where I just FELT bad as well and couldn't teach, I'd go home. But by lunch, I was much better and have felt normal since then.

Kaci, on the other hand, missed another day of school. :( Three days straight. But she is better now as well. BUT...Graland got it and got it bad. I only got the fever plus a small amount of upset stomach..if you catch my drift. Kaci had the stomach, the throwing up and fever. Yep, Graland got it all. :( He's had it for two days now.

Our family was asked to light the Advent Candle at church this week. Graland was still VERY MUCH not able to go. But the little girls and I read the readings and Zoe lighted the candle. It was very nice. :)

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

keep getting a fever!

Well, crud! This is the second day in a row that I've come home with a fever!! It's just over a 100 each time. I try to turn in early and rest it off during the night. You never know in the room if it's just the room temp or YOU?!

Kaci has been home from school the last two days as well. First day she never left the bed. Fever and just not being able to function. She slept so much that when we were getting her ready for bed last night she thought it was morning and that she was getting ready for school. She seems to be doing better this evening though, praise God.

I did have my genetics testing on Monday. They do a picture of who has had what in your family and show you the percentages of it being passed down. And also choices if I have the mutant gene. However, my bing on Tamoxifen puts me at a 90% chance that the cancer will not return. That being said, I'm only on Tamoxifen for two years...then after that another pill. OR I could go the prophylactic route and have the other breast removed, which puts my chances down to almost zero.

So we did the blood test, it'll take two weeks for it to go through insurance approval, then 2 weeks to get the results. Hoping I know something by Christmas.

Sunday, December 2, 2007

genetics testing in the morning

We will finally get the genetic testing done in the morning. It takes a month just to get IN to the geneticist. I understand that they are very thorough with you and take as much time as needed for the interview. Although I do not have a blood test on my schedule, there MUST be a blood test sometime during the interview.

Had my appraisal this went fine, but paled to the news of a friend who has a tumor on her spine and perhaps a spot on the brain. She'll be going to MD as well. I know the uncertainty that she is facing and the fear of the unknown, esp with children (older) and family. Many people have come to me reflecting on God's miracles of healing. Peace was His greatest miracle to me. It is not my personality, so I know it did not come from me. Many can do this "on their own" and that's fine. I love that I was able to identify that it was God Who was with me..and not myself. I am praying this for my friend...that she'll see God and how big He is..and how He can lead her each step of the way...and be her comfort. After all, is that not Who God left us, but the Comforter?

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

TAKS night at Kaci's school

Tonight was TAKS night at Kaci's school. Very informative..what parents need to expect from 5th graders on the TAKS test. It occurred to me as we were walking to the building that the kids there would be my first year teaching kids!! It was so cool to see so many of them. And OH MY GOSH!!! How they have grown!! They are truly all pre-teens! What was cutest is that they ALL said, "Oh! You got your hair cut!"

Physical Therapy is working with me right now getting the compression pump therapy ordered and running. I'll be getting the pump soon as it comes in and will be going in more frequently (it sounds) for heat therapy and something else...can't remember! Elaine did measurements on my arm today to send in with my prescription. I don't think any of the measurements were more than a 2cm difference from the other arm..I am remembering 1.3cm, maybe a 1.8?

I had a different therapist yesterday who did a much different massage. A very light touch down the arm for quite some time. I asked about it and she said the lymphatic system was very sensitive and that this would stimulate it. Then was followed by the more firm massage.

Dr. Sewell didn't show today...maybe tomorrow. In the meantime, students getting more practice with some of the hands-on stuff we use in the classroom. I had TWO kids absent today! I don't ever have more than one on any one day. Hopefully, they'll both be back tomorrow.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

thawed out!

Remember I said my feet felt like they were frozen and it was hard to walk on them? They hurt when I walked. At first I was very careful in my steps, but then decided to just walk the heck out of them! I didn't want to lose the sensitivity in them.

Well, it appears that I am pretty much all thawed out now! YEAH! I do have some of that fuzzy feeling in them...more of the feeling you have when your feet are asleep and you're at the tail end of it. Walking is no problem. Dr. Green had told me the effects of chemo would wear off (or she said I'd be back to normal) in about a month. It is now two weeks out of chemo.

Last night though. OH MY!! I woke with the WORST pain in my left foot. NOT a frozen or an asleep. But an unbearable pain. I'm not sure what caused it. Christmas shopping, the way I was sitting on it while working on a project, or the medicine. All I DO know is how much it hurt! I could only describe it as a car having rolled over it. No exaggeration. I would touch the bones on the top of my foot and it would hurt. I'd try massaging it by running it along the mattress or rubbing it with my other foot. Oh, gosh! Finally, morning came and I told Graland about it. He tried touching it and I about came out of my skin. He did get me to walking on it. It was very painful, and did slow step/limp across the room. By the time I got out of church, it seems back to normal. Praise God! I can still feel where it ached. But the whole thing was just too strange. Looking forward to a good sleep tonight as I sure didn't get it last night.

Great news! The Believers group of Relay For Life from Livingston was in the Polk County Enterprise this morning! Allison (from church) and some other ladies from the Believers group went to New York City a couple of weekends ago and went to a taping of Good Morning America. They were able to meet, speak with, and give Robin Roberts (anchor & currently going through breast cancer) a Believe t-shirt. The story the Enterprise gave was very touching and in fact, brought me to tears.

Saturday, November 24, 2007


I really have to learn how to spell that!! Graland and I talked about menopause this morning and how long it is supposed to last. I looked it up and it said months to years, so yippee!! lol I have been having night sweats every night since starting the tamoxifen. When I looked it up earlier, it sounds like since it is medication induced, and the tamoxifen was one of the meds listed, that this is more referred to as flushing, than night sweats. However, it's sweating and it's at night, it what you want! lol

Had a great Thanksgiving. It was interesting to figure out who actually reads my blog! NOT that I expect anyone to!!! But one couple and they know who they are used correct wordage and knew exactly where I was. "So, the genetic testing will tell if you have the bad gene?" And then another couple who wondered when I was going to start teaching again now that I am through with chemo. lol I just thought that was too cute!

Diana is doing well. She went home the following day from the hospital. I like the way Val put it, she got to start her 46th year cancer free. (Her surgery was the day before Thanksgiving and her birthday was Thanksgiving!) All her Christmas shopping has been done. I'm looking forward to getting my going myself!

Worked in my classroom yesterday to get ready for the Winter Season. I have my snowflakes hanging from the ceiling and my snowman put up with flakes around him. I love the room when it is Christmas time. Also, my appraisal will be this week sometime. So, esp looking forward to that coming and going.

The year has gone by so fast. It is hard to believe that everything happened THIS year!! One hurdle left. My Dec. 3 genetic testing. It would be esp wonderful if I didn't have the bad gene. I would love to start the new year (and Christmas) knowing I haven't given the gene to my girls. But God is always good and He loves them more than I, so this is in His hands and not my own.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Diana's day

Today Diana will have her mastectomy. She has cancer in the left breast and some lymph nodes. She has to be at the hospital at 6. It's 4:10 now and we're up and hopefully will get there on time before she goes in.

I called Dr. Green's office yesterday for a prescription for pump compression therapy. Alice called in the evening and got the wording correct for the prescription and I'll pick it up today while we are at the hospital. Hoping this is all I'll need to get the swelling under control.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

visit with Dr. Green following chemo

Had my follow-up appt with Dr. Green last Thurs. I had information prepared from what I've researched online and she was right in line with everything I had for her! So, on with Tamoxifen. I'll take it for about 2 years and that will be followed by an aromatase inhibitor. This will block the estrogen in my body so my body will think there is none. Apparently, my problem is that I am hormone receptive positive. I don't react well to things with hormones in it.

She said anything that said "this will help with your menopausal symptoms" from the store or pharmacy for me NOT to take. It would invariably have some type of hormone base to it, natural or otherwise.

Next month will be full of appointments beginning with a genetic testing for the bad gene. Then later in the month I'll have chest xray, blood work, ultrasound and biopsy on the neck for the thyroid, a pre-assessment for the port, then these follow the next day: port removal and internal medicine for biopsy report. Tried my best getting my appt. moved to Thanksgiving or Christmas break, but it didn't happen. So, out 3 days in December.

GREAT NEWS!! Zach came in this weekend for our Thanksgiving at Vals (which was nice, btw). He'll be back in a couple of days for Thanksgiving break! This has been so much better than that long 6 weeks from beginning of the semester! :)

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

always beautiful maybe Graland DIDN'T think of the pink shirt idea!! lol I wore my shirt yesterday and Donna came in wearing hers. She said she read Graland's idea and thought it was a good one. Well, then the whole 2nd grade team wore theirs!! Donna said, Well, umm, she kinda called Graland and put the bug in his ear to tell me to wear my shirt! That was soooo sweet!! I met a woman yesterday, June M., who used to teach at Pine Ridge for years. She is a breast cancer survivor as well. I told her really there was no better place to have cancer than here! :o) It's hard to get your mind around how God works so perfectly. You just take it as natural and think nothing of it. But He put me here, at this school, 4 years ago for a reason. And it was for His own glory..that He would be glorified through the oh, so many people at Pine Ridge. I couldn't have gotten it anywhere else to the degree I have here. I'm not talking about gifts or cards or anything superficial. But an outpouring of love, devotion, and Here are my nail scarred hands.

I also went to the therapist yesterday. Lymphedema. I thought I was regressing because it has hurt and I feel such a tight pull in my arm when it is outstretched. Well, it's the fluid build-up in there. :o( So she "pulled it down" through my arm for most of my therapy. No exercise this time, just getting the swelling worked on. So, the arm sleeve full time and sleeping with the arm elevated. I have to say it kept me up last night thinking about it! Grrrr

Looking forward to seeing how I did on yesterday's walkthrough. Actually, I don't care!! My kids were awesome! My lesson was outstanding! (it was on probability..power point, hands-on, the whole thing was seamless!) No flubs. I thought, MAN! I hope my observation goes this well. Anyway, sometimes they don't know exactly the correct things to give you a check mark for. Mine was completely higher order thinking. If they missed it, they missed it. And that's ok. My kids were excellent and it went off without a hitch. Yeah kids!!!

Sunday, November 11, 2007

the post we've ALL been waiting for!!!

YEAH!!! I'm through with chemo!!! I had my last treatment on Sat., Nov. 10, 2007. It was a bad, foggy drive to Houston, but cleared the closer we got to the hospital. I brought my camera with me for the big day and took some pictures. (you can click on the picture and it will give you a better resolution)

In the slideshow you'll see 5 pictures. The first was just outside the Infusion Therapy Unit doorway. (chemo) I'm giving a giant YES!!! I'm through!!! :o) It WAS a great feeling. There was a woman outside on a bench near where we were. She said in the Radiation unit, the ladies can ring a bell signaling their last treatment! Cool!

The second, third, and fourth picture are of me kissing the chemo unit last time. I am very thankful to all the nurses and attendants there. They are all wonderful, kind people. But if I never see them again, that will be GREAT!!! lol

The last picture was taken by the reception table when you first come across the skybridge from the parking garage (10) over to the Main Building (Clark). Behind us is a giant wall of MDA Christmas cards. This was a big day for both of us.

Afterwards, Graland took me to Red Lobster. As I said before that is where we were engaged and so it was fitting that we would begin again there. I am normally very frugal when I eat, but I wanted to eat things we'd never get in Livingston, so.... I picked the item that would feed a small village. I intended on eating enough for lunch and saving the rest for dinner. However, it didn't turn out that way!! I got the ULTIMATE platter!! lol King Crab legs, rock tail lobster, butterfly shrimp, shrimp scampi, baked potato, and a salad, not to forget the garlic & cheese biscuits! I offered to split it with Graland (see...I WAS being frugal!!) but he declined. Yes, I ate the ENTIRE meal. It was SOOO good!!!

I celebrated at home by going to school and getting things ready for Thanksgiving week!! Woo-Hoo!! Do we know how to celebrate or WHAT!!! I wore my pink shirt on Friday as I have been every Friday, esp in Oct (breast cancer awareness month)...and Graland suggested I wear it again on Monday to close that chapter...and start wearing my green again on Fridays.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

back to the arm sleeve

Looks like my arm is swelling, so I'm wearing the arm sleeve again. Sherry at therapy measured and yes, it was bigger than the other arm. Hopefully, the sleeve will get it back to where it needs to be. Elaine, the other therapist, gave me some wonderful, secret ingredient, Vitamin E cream. It is thick and feels great on the skin. ((Elaine))

Well, most of the people who read this already know what the "I wonder what it is" is! A new hairdo! It is Sassy, as one teacher put it! I like that description! A short cut, no more flip. In fact, it looks like my other hairdo with the flips cut off. I can't describe how good I feel in it. It is completely natural, no frills, and easy to care for. It has highlighting on top and a bit darker on bottom. And where else would I get it but ebay! Not one of the 10 dollar do's, but still a great price!! Don't have a picture of me in it yet, but I'll get it soon. One of our speech teachers was taking some kids down the hall and she caught me and said, Oh, I like your haircut! Did you get highlights too? I'm not sure, but I really think she must not have known it was a wig. Someone on the 2nd grade team asked if was my real hair (because the wig IS short) or a wig. Anyway, I love the look. :)

Elaine made a comment that she admired how strong I am. Those comments always throw me! I just don't see it until I stop and sit still a moment to think about it. But then I have to give that to God in praise...because strong is NOT me!! lol And yes, it is all God because this is not my nature at all!

My last treatment is Saturday! Told Graland I wanted Red Lobster as my celebration lunch! I haven't been in, well, since Granny's funeral...and that was 8 years ago! So, it's been a while! It is a special place to is where Graland proposed to me! So what better place to celebrate!?

Saturday, November 3, 2007

a slightly new wardrobe

My fingernails are looking kinda like someone stepped them. Getting red under the nail on several fingers. It feels like they could pop off and are very tender. Man, when I tap them against something!!! And it is hard to unbutton my pants and zip the zipper. Can't really use the fingertips to do it anymore. I have to use my index knuckle and thumb to do the zipper. And then loop my fingers through the belt loops to take off my pants.

Anyway, I thought....get elastic band pants! Did a check at the outlet mall, but knew that WalMart had them. They couldn't be pajama looking style. I had to have pockets and a zipper (mock zipper) I found them! In my size AND long enough! And they were an excellent (very low) price! I got 5 one for each day of the school week: black, brown, red, fall green, and a denim. :o)

Something else too... I wonder what it could be?!

a could have been rough day that wasn't!

Was up early for the appt and we made it there with time to spare. As I was figuring what time to put on my numbing cream for my port it hit me! I left it at home!!! ARGHHH This was just as we were pulling in to our parking space, so no turning back. We discussed what to attempt. Ask the nurse if she has extra, bum some off someone else, go to the pharmacy... Went in, got the blood draw, then went to chemo VERY early..over an hour early to get their advice.

New girl at the desk. yeah...small letters. her: Ask your nurse when you go in. us:Hmmm...that's over a hour away and you have to put the cream on 45 minutes prior to chemo. Can I go to the pharmacy? her: You need a prescription. So Graland explains what the cream does. him: The 45 minute thing, etc. her: I'll ask your nurse. Be seated. So we wait and she eventually comes back with my patient armband and says I talked with your nurse and she said you all can talk to the nurse when you see her. us: OK. I've done this before.

So, in the meantime, a couple come in. Wife is pushing husband in wheelchair and he is moaning. Broke my heart and I started praying for him and for his wife. God is so good (not that I want bad things for others!!!), but to show you you don't have it so bad. So praying for them and closing my eyes, but really wanting to lean my head over on Graland's shoulder and cry. Wanted to go outside in the hall to cry, or to the bathroom. (But they might call my name early and I'm not missing an early call. Ok, that's cold, but that's the way it is!! :o)

Wife had called husband's doctor and doctor said to come in and page him. her: he needs to go to the EC (I guess that's emergency clinic). wife: no, doctor wanted to be paged.. it went back and forth. Husband still moaning and wife saying he is in extreme pain. her: go to EC. wife: page the doctor.

I get called back for vitals before getting a room. First question was How many times have you fallen in the last 24 hours? None. Wow!! He puts the blood pressure cuff on me and then gets called to go get husband to bring to the back. He comes back and gets my stuff done and puts me in a COLD room. (no, not normally the ice chest we got today) I put on my warmed blanket that they give you each time onto the bed and make my bathroom run before the nurse comes in. Well, wife and husband are at the bathroom. Husband is inside so I talk to wife. I look at her and tell her I've been praying for husband and her...and we talk. She said husband can't go to the bathroom, he needs a is he going to get chemo if he is in this much pain?!

So, all I can think is Praise God! It's a potty issue! NOT that I'm putting down potty issues, cause YES they are a pain! But when I looked at him in pain, I just thought oh no...I'm not looking forward to that. :( (to finish story, doctor was called, he said go to the EC).

I go back to my room (after taking care of MY potty issue..just having to go) and nurse is already there. She and Graland have been talking about the port issue. Gives the options, get some now, wait 45, blah, blah. I knew the routine. I get into the bed and said "Let's just do it!" So Graland goes for the breakfast run and she does her duty. Yes, it was a little bite, but NO BIGGIE!!! Wasn't bad at all. Yes, I WILL remember next week anyways so I won't feel it at all, but this wasn't too bad. It was still sensitive to the touch when I showered though. But I'm a big girl and God is bigger than the boogie man.

Friday, November 2, 2007

LIFT confession

I was at the LIFT and we had gotten to prayer time. I told them when Diana's surgery was but not Val's news...didn't get her news until I had come back home! Well, the leader was about to start praying when I spoke up. I said, I know you're already praying for me, but there is something else I'd also like to you pray for. This is something kinda odd, esp being that we are in a Bible study...but when the leader said YAY! You only two more treatments left, it hit me. I have been very excited about that, but it was like OH!! I have been under MD's protection and I'm about to NOT be. I'll be on my own. YES...I am under God's protection..I always have been. But MD is keeping stuff in my body that is keeping the cancer away...and I'll be leaving them.

And earlier a woman said something about her being 60. I said, And I want to see 60! I want to see my Abbie graduate high school. I want to see my kids get married...ok, I'll stop! Thankfully, they validated my fears....and prayed for me.

Later, Donna said it showed my humanity and my dependence on God so much the more. I had seen it as lack of faith. But she saw it that I have had to depend that much more. I wish I could see as clearly as she does.

Great news!! and pooped!

Update on the counselor story: Talked with the counselor and we agreed to let it drop. :) Telling either of the girls to not say something would make them tell everyone! lol I think it'll all just fade away if it isn't already.

The great news? Val, middle sister who had her genetic testing done last month got her results back for the bad gene. Her test was negative!! YEAH!!!

My day. Had a great Friday! We did some fun projects, some writing assignments, and all our testing. Ended the day with bus duty. I walked my line to the cafeteria. We are usually close to the last bus to leave but today we were first! So a few of the kids were in line to leave but classes were still coming down the hall and I was making sure they went to the line quickly instead of our regular place to sit. One girl who I had last year was one of the first to come through and then I lost her. She always goes to the line quickly. Today I couldn't find her. All the kids had left to get on the bus and I was getting ready to watch a different line. And there she was!! I said Are you on 19 today?! Yes. Grabbed her hand and said It's leaving!! They're gone! We ran like the wind through the cafeteria and bus lines forming to get on their own buses. Made it barely to 19 to whack on the door a couple of times before it left completely. And on she went.

Oh gosh! That pooped me out!! Just 30 second worth of running, but it did me in. We have to wait til 3 before we can leave duty and it was 10 til. I made the executive decision to part myself outside the cafeteria and rest a while (the hallway was empty). Massaged my legs and was just thankful my feet carried me where they needed to be so quickly. Was getting ready to head to my room when Mrs. Holder (Asst. Prin.) saw me. She came over quickly and asked it I was OK. Yes! I am. Told her the story. She offers to carry me back to my room or piggyback me! lol I tell her I'm OK, just needed to rest and go get a drink from my fridge. (She is so sweet!)

Make it back to my room. Get a cranapple drink from my fridge, open it and nothing comes out. This has happened's so cold in there, it'll freeze. Oh, shoot! I really wanted my drink! About that time Carla (the nurse) comes in! I say, She is such a tattle-tale!! lol Carla pulls up a chair and I tell her the story too and that I'm about to have a drink, but low and behold, I can't! I show her by tipping the bottle over and out it all comes into my hands and all over my jeans and carpet!! Oh MY GOSH!!! We laughed and were running everywhere trying to get a tissue or toilet paper to get the mess up! I said, It really WAS frozen. Actually, apparently only the very top section froze and it loosened up. And there it was floating around in my drink. Goodness!

Home now, almost 8, and I am looking forward to an early bed. We have to be in Houston at 7 for bloodwork, then chemo at 9. After this week, only ONE more to go!! Praise God!! What a long treatment this has been. This weekly thing has gone by very quickly though. You're barely finished and BOOM, it's time to do it again.

My fingertips are getting more sensitive. I can't use them to scratch and itch. It hurts like the nail will some off. Or to pick up a book from a student's desk. oooooch. BUT, we're almost there!! I am so excited! :)

Oh yeah, I got THE most beautiful present last night from a young lady (a teen, I believe). One of those WillowTree Angels. It is the Courage Angel. It is just beautiful! The angels arms are outreached to Heaven. I keep thinking about it...what the angel is doing symbolically. Maybe arms up in a Victory pose, or I'm lifting you up in prayer, praising God in worship, or This is my last chemo and praise God, you're still with me! I have her in my vanity mirror. Thank you Holly!!! ((hugs))

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

it's out

A girl (Ma. Bo.) I had last year came to me in the bus line and said, Mrs. Delafosse, Abbie said you have cancer. She said it kinda loud too! I looked at her and gave her a smile and a gentle wink. Then she sat down. I called her back over to me and said that I was OK.

So since Abbie's teacher and Ma. Bo. teacher were in the bus lines with me, I asked Abbie's teacher if Abbie talks about me in class. No. The other teacher said the same. So, at home I asked Abbie about it. She said her friend told Ma. and Abbie said yes, it was true. Abbie didn't realize the other girl even knew. But I met the mother recently at a womens conference. Didn't know she had told her daughter.

Not sure what Ma. will do? Tell others? I need to ask the counselor if I should talk with Ma. or if I should let it drop.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

the real me!

Well, here I am! No more can anyone complain about a bad hair day! lol The hair is pretty white, but darker around the ears. Not sure what it will end up as after the chemo is through. The chemo has given me the worst acne!! Even after my shower, I'm afraid I still have on quite a bit of eyeliner (thank goodness!). But the eyebrows are pretty accurate. I use my brown eyeshadow to give myself brows when I do my makeup. AND!!! Guess what!! I had JUST gotten a hair cut!! Graland trimmed some around the ears where the fuzz was getting a little too long there. Just that out-of-proportion flippy looking hair. Ahhh...nice, lovely look now.

Just little different than my usual look, huh?! :)

Sunday, October 28, 2007

a GREAT visit with Zach!!!

We went to Nacogdoches to see Zach after church & Sunday School. We had agreed on a time the night before and planned on eating lunch together. We brought the dorm size fridge from the house to take to his room. Also his winter jacket. When we got there we came out to greet us. Graland was having me call his room to let him know we were there and there he was coming out to the van. :) He looked great although thinking back...I forgot to check if he'd put on any weight! He DOES get his three meals a day at the cafeteria and he DOES like to eat. shoot! I'll have to do a better job next time I see him! lol

His room is still pretty bare and unfortunately when I bought all the goodies for the dorm I forgot to get a broom. So, needless to say, after lunch we went to WalMart for some essentials. A broom, room freshener, drinks for the fridge, etc. When we came back Zoe swept the room. When I went to hang up his jacket there was ONE shirt hanging in the closet!! That was all that was in there!!! lol I said, Um think you might need to do some laundry? He says, I still have one day left in there!! lol So funny!! But he was right and I know he'll get it done.

I talked with him about maybe catching a ride with another Livingston-ite who also goes to SFA. We'd love to help her out with gas fare...just need to get her email so we can contact her. But really, I know Zach won't want/need to come home every weekend or even every other weekend. But going 2 months in a row is just out of the question!!! Just no reason for that. And that's just too long for me. As it is, probably the next time we see him will be Thanksgiving. Unless he sneaks home sooner. I can only hope! :)

I asked how often they do family dinners at Wisely. He said at least 3 or 4 times a week. Actually, I meant in the dorm there...there is a dining room table by the kitchen...but he was referring to going to the cafeteria in the student center. They all go that makes me feel good! Also, they are still going to Fredonia Hill Baptist together and that REALLY makes me feel good!!! Sunday school then church.

I can't find anything that he is NOT liking. The classes sound great and I think it is a good school for him. I am SO glad we got to see him. He was glad to see us too...of course, the Reeces and beef jerky didn't hurt anything either! :)

Taxol Round 10

Got up early for our 8am appt. Somehow, we always make it there on time...with time to spare! Got settled in and talked with my nurse for a while. She was they all are! Had not had her before. I asked about the numbness and she questioned if I could still button/unbutton. Yes, I can. If I was falling or hurting myself. No, I'm not. GOOD!!! :) She did tell me of a lady who was completely ok, except her nails had turned black. I told her I was feeling good then! Mine aren't black! However, you CAN see each week how much more chemo I've had from the last in my fingernails. The darker color is seeping it's way up the nail. The fingertips are sensitive and oooch...when I knock them against something!! I am continuing to "just live through" the feet thing. The toes are numb, but not to the point that they can't be used for walking. It is just a very strange sensation. I DO sit a lot!!! Just have to. I don't want to get tired. And they hurt when I'm walking on them too much.

She also asked if I'd been at Mays before for my chemo. Well, only the beginning. But I teach, so I do chemo on Saturdays at the Main Building. She said they just don't have many breast patients at the Main...they all go to Mays. That must also be why they always ask if it was Dr. Brown who put in my port....he must not be a breast doctor.

Afterwards, we went to Hobby Lobby and got some things for school before going home. We rested a few minutes, but as the girls were in their Halloween costumes and ready to go to the Fall Festival at one of the churches, I said, Let's go!! We had ALL been looking forward to this! Central Baptist does this and it is always very nice! We were able to stay a couple of hours for crafts, food, and inflatables. It was good to see the girls having so much fun and to be able to do it with them.

Need I say more when I say TWO MORE TO GO!!! YIPPPPEEEEEEE

at the hop!

great day at the Pine Ridge Sock Hop....more info to come! :)

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

my new best friend

is my cap that Peggy made!!! Now that it is cool outside, it is a little cooler inside. Talk about the MOST comfy cap over the peach fuzz while I is just delightful...Like hot cocoa on a cold day! mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

just step on it!

As I said I would do, I decided to ignore my numb toes and just walk on them! lol Maybe even walk some feeling back into them. I was very aware of them yesterday..almost like having a sunburn on your feet and trying not to touch it. But I just can't do that for another month! So, I wiggled, walked, whatever today. Perhaps I just need to get used to what it feels like, accept it, and move on...or should I say...walk on.

And....can I just say what an AWESOME team we have!!! Heather across the hall has offered to take my kids to recess when it's windy. I think she is afraid my hair will fly off. No, not really!!! They're concerned that I don't get sick. THANK YOU GUYS!!!!!

getting more difficult

Got dressed yesterday morning and it is noticeable that it is more difficult to get dressed. First time of the season to wear socks and gosh, you use your fingertips to pull them, in case you didn't know!! And buttoning my pants was odd as well. The numbness has gone past the toes to the balls of my feet. I think I said that before, but now it is more prominent. Now, when I say numb, I still have feeling there AND I can walk on it. It hurt some yesterday to walk on it because it is such a strange sensation. But, I feel like I am concentrating on it too much. So today, as much as possible, I'm am going to just walk as normal as I can. I have three more treatments and I WANT to get them...I don't want to stop them.

At therapy I did ask about my stomach. I talked with our nurse earlier about it and she said definately ask Bea. No one was around so I unzipped so she could see better what I was talking about. I get a large bulge on the left side when I try to sit up. Now, don't think I can do a sit up!! I CAN'T!!! But I want to! Anyway, she said the scar adhesion is crossed over the muscle there and keeping it from contracting smoothly. It is having to contract on either side of the adhesion. So it bulges up when it tries to do it's job.

Had a long phone visit with Zach Sunday night. :) Found out it was free on my end to call. But after 45 minutes, Zach says, well, it's been 44 minutes. I laughed and said Well, it's FREE on my end!! But I guess I'm eating up all your minutes, huh?! He laughed with a well, yeah... But it was good to hear his voice. Can't wait to see him...whenever that is.

Sunday, October 21, 2007


I am SO tired.

I miss Zach.

Taxol Round 9: THREE to go!

We had that same extremely efficient nurse again! I really like her. I told her she was the FIRST nurse that I've had more than once...there are just so many! And that we had already decided in our discussions following chemo that she was the most efficient. She said OH NO! Now I've really got to be on my toes! :o) And, of course, she was wonderful again.

She asked about my port...they all do. Oh good! It is available! I asked about that. Mine is very defined and visible under my skin. She said many women gain weight during the treatments so the port sinks and they have trouble accessing it. Or, just the way it was put in...sometimes it will move from where it was stitched in...handiwork of your surgeon. She said mine did a very good job. And I agreed. Mine has stayed steadfast. Yeah! Dr. Ross! You can see in the picture the incision and the port below it. There is a little dot in the center of the port...that is where it was accessed today for chemo. Doesn't hurt when they access it. One, two, three, take a deep's in. I have my shirt pulled to the side for the picture. Normally, you'd never know it was there! (Abbie took the picture at an angle!!)

As she was asking how the Taxol has been for me, I said the most noticeable side effect was the numb toes and fingers. She asked if I had told my doctor. (yes) Because sometimes they will stop your treatment. The numbing is the result of nerve damage and they don't want it to get too bad...or permanent. But that they really don't want to stop something that is so good and working if they don't have to. I said mine wasn't debilitating and that I wouldn't want to stop the treatments. I only have THREE more to go! My last is Nov. 10.

I had such a hard time going to sleep last night. My legs hurt so bad. About 11:30 I got up and took a Tylenol and went right to sleep. I'll have to remember that next week.

Diagnosed with breast cancer January 29, 2007.
Mastectomy (4/09/07) Reconstruction (4/25/07) & Chemo. Keep me in your prayers.
Big chemo 1 2 3 4 Taxol (weekly)1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 [9] 10 11 12

Thursday, October 18, 2007

visit with Dr. Green

Oh my gosh, the traffic was horrible going to Houston today!!! We made it there on time by leaving here at 6:30 for the 8:30 blood draw at the Mays Clinic. Yeah! Mays!!! I miss that place! Had an excellent stick and told the nurse how perfect it was!!! Then off to see Dr. Green.

Well, saw Alice (uh-lees) first. I love her!! She is SO sweet! She asks the normal questions, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, constipation, numbing (yes), etc. I told her the period was finally gone and she said maybe it will be for good, but couldn't say...for a year. Told her the numbing was going up my toes, but not enough to be impaired. And that I had had a fever last week. She was thrilled with my progress and how the past month has been with the Taxol.

I asked her about the port and when it would come out. She asked if I was having radiation after this. No, I'm not. So, about a week after my last treatment, I'll come in for another MRI to get the once over, one more time and they'll look at my bloodwork to make sure I'm clotting properly, etc. Then will come back the next day and have it removed. They'll numb the area, then take it out. She said most people say it doesn't hurt. So HURRAY!!! It should be gone by Thanksgiving! :o)

Then Dr. Green came in and did the breast checks and listened to the lungs. We talked for a while. I asked about diet and she said the best diet was making sure my fats were kept to less than 20% of my intake. Also she mentioned milk and chicken without hormones. We talked about the genetic testing which I'll have hopefully in is scheduled for Dec at the moment. When I first started Ross said I wouldn't have to have a bi-lateral mastectomy since it wasn't in the family. She agreed that yes, at the time we had talked that that was a very wise choice. She wants me to wait until my genetic testing to make any further decisions. At this point, not knowing if there is the mutant gene, she would wait. If the testing comes back and there is NO mutant gene, then with the chemo AND the follow up tamoxifin / hormone therapy that I'll be getting after chemo, it cuts my chances of a recurrence by half. Which would be 5 -7%. Already it would be low with the no mutation and the occurrence of it coming back in a different spot was low. However, it if came back and there WAS the mutant gene, then the chances were much higher 35% or so. So, we'll see once the genetic testing is done. If it comes back mutant, I will be looking into prophylactic mastectomy. So, in the meantime, I'm trying to get my diet back under control.

Three more treatments!!!

losing it

My eyelashes and eyebrows are so thin now! I use brown eyeshadow on my brows and have always, thankfully, used eyeliner on my eyes. My bottom lashes esp getting thin and have some blank spots in places. That being hair (peach fuzz) seems to be getting longer, even as it is coming out!! lol I have to use the shaver (Graland's) for my sideburn area. Otherwise, you can kinda see it when I put on the wig. Now that the hair is getting a little bit longer, it is showing that I must have a cowlick or something on the side!! I just can't get it to lay down. lol Good thing I've always had enough weight in my hair to keep it down. Not sure if it'll all be gone by Christmas or just coming back! We'll see!

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

maybe the fingers too

We were walking through WalMart earlier and I told Graland to imagine frozen toes that aren't even cold! That's what my feet feel like!! lol That frozen toe feeling you get when you stand out in the snow too long. But w/o the snow or the cold! ha ha

I'm thinking it may be the same beneath my fingernails. To press against the nails feels a little different now.

I had a great therapy on Monday! It was pouring cats and dogs.. BIG cat and BIG dogs!! I parked not too far from the door. But I just couldn't get out of the van! So I waited and then saw a woman get into her car that was located closer than mine. So I waited for her to leave, pulled out, and reparked my car. Well, it happens that it was only 2 cars over!! BUT it was just across from the entrance! So I made a dash for it. Went inside barefooted and was given a towel to dry off.

I had Elaine...who is also a big meanie...just like the others!! ha ha No, I love her! She knows to be tough with me and does a good job of hurting me properly. lol The "uncle, uncle" position...the one where they pull your arm up your back and you want to cry out "uncle" so they'll stop...I am getting very good at! (that was really poor sentence structure, sorry!) That one used to be my very worst! That is also the "undo your bra" pose, and since I make it a point to unlatch in the back JUST FOR THE's getting easier to do. She did a lot of what seemed to be trying to loosen up the shoulder blade from the scar tissue. Sorry, don't really know WHAT was going did feel good though! lol Shoving down on my shoulder and shoving up from under the blade. Then kind of a twist and a turn in there! She also reminded me of some exercises I SHOULD be doing at home, but haven't been.

I am ready for my sub on Thursday. YEAH!! I usually have to stay sooo late on Wed to get ready for her, but I was on the ball this week! yeah, me! I'll see Dr. Green and have blood work. I am going to try to get some of my non-chemo appointments changed to different dates.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Who are you?

I checked my stats earlier and realize that I have quite a few people who check on me regularly!!! That is soooo sweet and I am incredibly shocked and humbled. I knew of several who told me they read up on me, but there was a good handful. There are some that I have absolutely NO IDEA who it might be though! Could you please introduce yourself if you are a frequent visitor? I'd love to know who you are..and maybe how you came across my blog! :)

To answer this, just click on the link below my says COMMENTS on it. You'll get a page that says Leave Your Comment. Write in your comment and then click on OTHER for the name. You'll get a pop up box that will let you leave your name. You don't have to leave your email if you don't want to! Then click publish! And you're done.

The places I remember are Livingston, Beaumont, Pennsylvania, Chicago, Virginia, and Houston. These are my most frequent.

good news! I slept!

Each night following a Taxol treatment I just cannot sleep! I am so hyped up! I really prayed last night for sleep...knowing it probably wouldn't come. But OH it was sooo nice! Woke at 6 after sleeping a complete night.

By the way, the treatment went really well. I had a great nurse. It was one of the long day treatments. Got up at 430 to leave at 5. Blood drawn at 7 and treatment at 9. So we had breakfast in the cafeteria between visits. I told the nurse I had fever on Wed, that went away quickly. She said my numbers looked great and we proceeded with the treatment! :o)

My numbing is going into the first section of my feet..the balls of your feet. Not too bad, but I do feel the tingling starting to be in there too.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Taxol Round 8 - - - FOUR to GO!!!

Just finished Taxol #8 and now....
FOUR TO GO!!! FOUR TO GO!!! FOUR TO GO!!! Yeah, I'm a little excited!! :o)

Diagnosed with breast cancer January 29, 2007.

Mastectomy (4/09/07) Reconstruction (4/25/07) & Chemo. Keep me in your prayers.
Big chemo 1 2 3 4 Taxol (weekly)1 2 3 4 5 6 7 [8] 9 10 11 12

Thursday, October 11, 2007

He honored my prayer

I held on to a scripture last night..Isaiah 43:2 the one that says "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you, when you walk through the fire, you will not be burned.. Graland and I were talking about those who were martyred for Christ's sake and how they would have felt about the scripture. I told him that these particular verses were some of His promises to me from the beginning of my journey. I think He has honored my firm stance on standing up for his promise to me. At 10:30 last night I woke up in a sweat. My fever had broken. At 4 this morning it was 96.5 No, no typo there!! And right now, 6:30am it is 97. It did get up to 100 last night.

Praise God!! The receptionist was SO long as the Lord is on His throne taking care of my business, I'll do just fine! :o)

Wednesday, October 10, 2007 wonder I was cold!

Still had the cold feeling today and wore long sleeves and a light jacket. Felt well enough...just have that ugh...getting a cold feeling...runny nose, etc. When I came home, Graland poured a Coke for me and I said, Wait, I'd like to take my temp first...don't think I have one, but since I'm a temp fanatic, let me do it! lol It's 100. Oh, well, OK! So I shower, have a Coke to cool me down and take it easy. Took it again later and it had come down some. YEAH!! I have an ARD in the morning, so hope it has done it's thing by then so I can go in. Otherwise, I'll go in VERY early, get things situated, let the office know about my not being at the ARD and confirm a sub. I told a little girl today that we can choose to feel good or bad...and I'm going to feel GREAT! :o)

In the meantime..I also told the girl...yeah, my legs are really hurting now too and my knees esp, then my head feels bad cause I'm getting a cold! But, I'm still here loving all you guys and keeping a good attitude and a smile on my face.

Hoping to have a restful sleep tonight that takes away all my aches and pains! Oh yea, I had a little walkthrough yesterday (Dr. Sewell). She came in while I was doing a math lesson. We had JUST got off the floor with all the hands-on stuff, it was beautiful..yep, she missed it. But she got to see the ho-hum math worksheet that goes with it. I was sitting at the overhead doing this thinking, oh great, the principal is watching me do a lesson sitting down. That is so not a good thing!! All I could think is...but my toes are feeling numb!! lol I'm gonna SIT!!! so I did! felt good too! (I did get a very nice write-up though...what a relief...cause I was kinda bummed after she left!) :o)

feeling yucky

ugh... getting a head cold. My nose is running and my head aches. I was so cold yesterday but didn't have fever. Otherwise all is fine! :o) Kids at school are great. Abbie went to the doctor on Monday and is on an antibiotic. Hopefully she'll finally lose the fever for good. Must go to school now!

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Taxol Round 7

Had my 7th round of Taxol yesterday and it went well. The weather was horrible, horrible rains coming into Houston. But it got better as we neared Anderson. And on the way home it was beautiful! After last week's LONG treatment, this one was a breeze! In and out in 2 hours!!! This was record time for us. It began with signing in and the receptionist asked how we were doing and I asked her the same thing. She replied with As long as God is still sitting on the throne, I'm just fine!!! I smiled real big and gave her a resounding YES MA'AM!!!

Our nurse was very efficient and checked on me several times once she got me going. I started just after 9 and was out by 11. I remembered to put on the cream in time so that was a good thing! :o)

We went by Hobby Lobby afterwards and got some fabric for my 50s Day skirt. I had gotten a pattern and some nice fabric. When I got to the counter the lady asked if this was for a poodle skirt. I told her it was and she immediately said, No go back and get the felt, put back the pattern, and I'll just tell you how to make it! So I went back and got the felt and she explained what to do. Then, even though she had a line waiting, she asked if the floral print I got was for my scarf 9for the neck) and I said No, it was a scarf for my head. So she went over to the chiffon and cut off some black and said it would be a sample piece (though it was quite large enough for the actual scarf). She gave me instructions on how to sew it into a scarf...She was so friendly. I have the skirt cut out, but still need to do the waist on it and put on my applique. It will be beautiful when I finish!

Couldn't sleep last night. I usually can't on the night of chemo. The pads of my toes are going numb. Feels like they're asleep...doesn't hurt, but they feel odd.

Diagnosed with breast cancer January 29, 2007.

Mastectomy (4/09/07) Reconstruction (4/25/07) & Chemo. Keep me in your prayers.
Big chemo 1 2 3 4 Taxol (weekly)1 2 3 4 5 6 [7] 8 9 10 11 12

Thursday, October 4, 2007

having a good week!

Well, looking back, I think I just wasn't feeling well last week! The aching neck, hand and legs... because I'm feeling better this week. I do feel a little numbness in the toes, but as far as major aches, nothing! YEAH!! I DO have to say this conclusion comes on the heels of Abbie being sick all week. So far she has missed 4 days this week. :( High fever. So with everything running rampant at school, I think I just had something set in me that I took for side effects.

Wish I could blame the steroids or chemo or something, but I don't like the weight I've put on. Apparently everyone thought I looked horrible when I went on my original diet. I am SO glad I was on it. Yes, I did lose a lot of weight, but never went below 115 or anything like that!! But to hear that you "looked like a skeleton" and others hurts. God was so good during that time to give me a month to change my diet. I WAS concerned about chemo, but knew what was in me could be changed by what I was putting in me. I am still drinking carrot juice every other day and yes, still believe it is doing me good! :o) There is no reason to just do chemo and go about my business like there is nothing I can do about this. When I am off of chemo I'll change my diet again to be more rigorous. In the meantime, I like to eat. As much as I don't want to eat the things I don't need to eat, I'm finding myself eating them anyway. As much as I need to exercise, I don't. And both of these things are going to be the way to staying better once I'm through. I am waiting for osmosis to kick in and help out and am trying my hardest to exercise vicariously, but it's just not working for me yet. lol Now, when I talk about weight...just five pounds...nothing more. I don't want to be too thin, but most of it right now...I just need to exercise! and get back in shape. Would love for my new wardrobe to fit better. I like my size 8. I think it is a healthy size for me. Just want to KEEP my size 8 and not go bigger. and yes...I have had comments on my larger size.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

update to Taxol 6

We had a great time at chemo today!! I brought all my grading and didn't touch a bit of it!! Didn't even look at it! :) Had a nice nurse. Everything went smoothly UNTIL.... she never came back! lol I mean after 30 minutes and we knew the taxol was finished, we called the nurse button and said it didn't beep, but 30 minutes ago it finished! (ok...we were watching I Love Lucy...) so they say they'll find my nurse. Again time goes on... She comes in and says Are you finished? I was like, Yeah, an hour ago. WHAT?! she says. Yeah, we called about 30 minutes ago and they said they were going to find you. She says I didn't hear it beep! We say, Yeah, I told them when we called 30 minutes ago that it didn't beep and that is why we called for the nurse. She was apologetic, got me unhooked from the machine after flushing my port and we were on our way! :)

methinks maybe she was at lunch, but who knows! lol

Taxol Round 6 HALFWAY MARK!!!

What an exciting day!!! It is my halfway mark for Taxol. I have really enjoyed Taxol...isn't that the strangest thing to say? You enjoy chemo? Well, no, I don't enjoy chemo, but compared to the FAC, the Taxol is just lemonade. Really nothing to it, and if you're gonna get something that is nice to you, doesn't make you feel bad...this is it! :o)

Now, this isn't halfway for the 6 month treatment, I had that back in late Aug. But, breaking down THIS treatment of 12 weeks/12 treatments, THIS one is my halfway mark! I just feel so good about this! :o) Like it is all raise your you go down the other side of the mountain. We'll be leaving in just a little bit for MD.
Speaking of...talked with my sister last night and she was able to get in with my doctor (Ross) and also moved up a month for her initial testing. Yeah!
My neck is feeling so much better today!!! But then, last night at prayers, I did ask for a wonderful night's sleep and that my neck wouldn't keep me from sleeping!!! Praise God!!! My hand was OK too when I washed this morning! :o)
Some friends invited me to a ladies conference last night (and today..will go after chemo). It was incredible. I LOVE worship!!!! As we were singing, I stopped singing, closed my eyes and just kept silent. I asked to be closer and for this to not be about me, and little by little (of course my own flesh always seems to have it's own way and I don't think I get fully there) the people around me would fade and I would hear one collection of of was beautiful. (Here is the song I'd never heard of, but was so touched by it: Revelation Song Scroll to the bottom of the page there and you'll see a youtube for it to listen to it! )Like an entire sanctuary filled with women and not one had a bad voice...well, then, I AM the one NOT singing!! ha ha :o) But it was just much as I wanted to sing, I had to make myself not sing, so I could be in that fellowship. I'll miss a lot of the conference today, but I hope I can catch another part of worship...not sure...will have to check the schedule.

Diagnosed with breast cancer January 29, 2007.
Mastectomy (4/09/07) Reconstruction (4/25/07) & Chemo. Keep me in your prayers.
Big chemo 1 2 3 4 Taxol (weekly)1 2 3 4 5 [6] 7 8 9 10 11 12

Friday, September 28, 2007

think aches might be setting in

I think I am feeling this more and more. The last several mornings I have woken with a sore neck...and have to wait several hours during the day for it to pass. This morning I was washing my hands when I just exclaimed OUCH as I washed them! It just hurt to pass one hand over the next! I tried to recall if I had just slept on that hand or whatever, but no, it just hurt. Walking in school, my lower leg was hurting. But it seems to go away during the day, so I plan on ignoring it as long as I can. Not sure how our 50s days program will be. We're doing a dance, but hopefully I'll get a role that doesn't require too much of me just in case I can't work it out then. BUT, I will plan on keeping on as long as I can! :)

Sunday, September 23, 2007

1 more from yesterday TMI

TMI (too much information) for those who wanna stop now! lol Something else that I go through each visit, that if you're on chemo you'll be interested in this... Those bags of chemo go STRAIGHT through you! lol I got out of the bed and went straight to find the restroom. Well, we decided on the one in the hall instead of the treatment area (sorry, that was useless information there!) OK, so at the hall restroom. Go in, potty for a very long time, flush, wash hands. Go back to same stall, potty again, flush, wash hands, meet Graland in the hallway. Told him what I'd just done! lol We get in the elevator to go down a story to get to the skywalk that takes you to the parking garage (which chemo is RIGHT beside the elevator that goes to the skywalk!!! You don't have to wander the building!!) We're on the skywalk floor (2nd) and Graland says, as we're about to leave the building (and we're passing the restroom that sits adjacent to the sliding glass door leading to the skywalk) "You want to try one more time?" lol YES!!! So in the restroom again, yep, potty one more time (for old times sake!), flush, wash hands, meet Graland in the hallway!

And this is only the TWO bag chemo! The first rounds were FOUR! lol But on those, I'd take the chemo/IV stand into the restroom with me! There was NO WAY you could wait out all four bags!

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Taxol round 5..a 'coulda been bad' visit

What a leisurely day we had! :) Didn't have to leave for this chemo until 7:00am...that is like MID-day!!! We've been getting up at 5/5:30, but since I already had lab work on Thurs, we were able to leave later. YEAH! Traffic was good...and made it right at 8:30. Got in pretty quickly and actually went to the RIGHT room this time! The nurse got a kick out of my story from last week...going to the wrong room right after he told which one to go to! UGH! Anyway, the nurse came in and we did the ID check thing and meds you're on thing. The MOMENT she left, I exclaimed (pardon me) OH crap! Graland was like WHAT?! I forgot to put on my numbing cream on my port!!! We always have breakfast between lab work and chemo and time it perfectly for it be nice and numb for the chemo stick. OOOHHHH NOOOO!!!! So quickly get out the cream and load it on the port. By the time she comes back it's been on there about 12 minutes...usually put it on there 45 minutes prior to chemo. She was aware of all of this and said it may be too early for it to be working just yet. So thinking back to the nurse absolutely HURTING me when she did back in May, but ALSO thinking that that nurse was accessing it for the first time...and that part was already done now. So, kept the faith that it would be just fine and guess what? It was!!! It was a little stick, but no more than I get in my arm during blood work! (That other time, it stayed the entire treatment and afterwards!)

Got caught up on I Love Lucy (the famed stomping grapes for wine episode) and graded most of my papers from school and did grades. I questioned the nurse about there not being a blood word time listed on my next visit and she said there were only 3 more times that blood would be taken for me! YIPPEE!! Not that I mind giving blood, I'll do that anytime. It just adds an hour and a half to the trip!!! So, shorter trips! woohoo

Not sure, but I think my toes felt numb after treatment today. I'll keep an eye on it. I put some of my ice from my drink on them. (recommended from hospital)

I added a little signature area to my post today and may keep that up for a least during chemos to show you exactly WHERE I AM in my treatments! :o) As you can see, I just did round 5 of 12 rounds of Taxol.

Talked with Zach today and he sounded soooo good! We did a computer to computer voice chat through IM. He sent me a music file that he recorded on his mic of 3 guys in his dorm playing music: a guitar, a mandolin, and a violin. It as THE coolest music and I was thoroughly impressed with it!! Wished I was there!

Diagnosed with breast cancer January 29, 2007.
Mastectomy (4/09/07) Reconstruction (4/25/07) & Chemo. Keep me in your prayers.
Big chemo 1 2 3 4 Taxol (weekly)1 2 3 4 [5] 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

Friday, September 21, 2007

meeting with Dr. Green

Had my meeting with Dr. Green on Thursday after blood work. I told her about sister being diagnosed and she asked if I wanted to have genetic testing done to see if this was a genetic type cancer. I said yes, we had talked about this a while back and I had wanted to get it done whenever it was appropriate to do so. So, it will take a few weeks to get on the calendar for this. She said something about a mutated gene that is passed normally if you get this in your 30s or earlier...that would be genetic. But normally for an older person (like me) this is about the age you would get it genetic or not. And that w/o it being genetic, your odds are low of getting it.

With that said, she told me that her grandmother, aunt and sister have breast cancer, however, after seeing the genetic testing, she only has a 3% chance of getting it...because it wasn't a mutated gene that was passed along. (hope I got that right!!)

So, we'll see later what this testing says for us (for the girls).
She asked "about when did you get your fevers last week?" I answered "about the time all the kids coughed on me!!" lol In other words, it wasn't from the chemo. :) I was glad to answer "no" to most of the side effect questions. All but one...aches in the joints...which I do have in the legs. I get it more to the middle/end of the week. I feel it in my walking.
Sherry? It was my wedding band, wasn't it? :o) I remembered as soon as I got to the car!

Speaking of Sherry...I'm down to just ONE day a week now! Yeah! Although, it is sooo family is actually NOT good news for me! :o( But guess what Sherry? I am going for 100%!!! I WILL do it!! Maybe 97%, but as close to 100 as I can get! I AM going to start the rotation like you tested that I have NEVER made progress on. Abbie is helping me on that. Holding down my shoulder so it doesn't lift and rotating the arm forward to mat and backward (upward?) to mat above head. Also getting the arm straight up and over to my ear to mat. She loves to 'therapy' me and does a good rotation of the arm in all directions before going to the one in question. She does a good "You're doing so good!" just like you do, too! :)
We were blessed again by our church yesterday. A friend talked recently about humility....and that certainly applies to us...we are so humbled by these saints. It is amazing to see God at work.
Working on getting my waistline back!!! I just don't have my stomach muscles back yet! Just like the arm, I wasn't exercising the stomach and still can't lay down just using my body. I have to use my arms to lower myself or grab hold of my bent knees and roll myself down.
I am so glad that I don't have all the answers! Faith is NOT my being blind or my NOT doing something. I think I have done all that is possible in my case...and praise God that He has done the rest. He tells me to think of the things of today..and gosh there must be a reason! To keep my sanity! To keep me from despair or discouragement. Because when I think too far ahead, Satan attacks me. This can be seen as weakness or not doing what is best for me. But KNOWING that I AM doing ALL that I possibly could be doing at this moment, including diet, exercise, and most importantly, listening to God promises, I think I am right where He wants me to be. I thank the ladies I have spoken with recently for their encouragement and prayers!
Big day tomorrow! Round 5 of 12!!! ALMOST half-way there!!! Thanksgiving will be here in no time! These weekly's sure do make your year go by quickly! Not that I'd recommend this to anyone or anything!! ha ha

Wednesday, September 19, 2007


Graland came up behind me and said "Close your eyes and hold out your hands." So I did! And in my hands dropped my wedding band!!! Remember? It's been missing since my first round of chemo (end of May!). He found it in a drawer while cleaning some things today. So, off went my ring from the antique store and on went my ring from my beloved! :o) I was so excited!!

Tomorrow is an appointment with Dr. Green. I'll see her once a month on a Thursday, since she's not there on Saturdays when I do chemo. Will get blood work done, then visit with her.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

must be mid week...

my legs are aching again! It's nothing big, but just some ache to them. I'm thinking tomorrow's may be a little more than todays. We'll see. I don't say anything at school. We have a walking field trip next week to the museum and I've asked another teacher to take my place and I'll take her class (in the building) so I don't have to walk it.
Looks like more hair is falling out too! Kind of getting in the drain trap...little, short hairs! lol Graland said he thinks maybe this chemo (the weekend ones) will do the rest of the job to my fabulous short hairdo! But that's OK!!! I got these AWESOME care caps again from Peggy!!! A brown one and an army green one! They are sooo FALL! I looked the other day for brown and it was, I guess, too early for fall fabrics...even though the Christmas fabrics were out! lol I went in the closet and passed the brown one in front of my brown-ish outfits and it looks SO good!!! And the green one is excellent against my olive skin! :) Really looking forward to them now that it is getting cooler. I wear these mostly when I go to the hospital. Just been too hot/warm to wear it at home...unless there is company. But I am thrilled to have them now, esp. with the cooler weather coming on.

Speaking of hair...looks like I won't have to pluck my eyebrows much longer!! ha ha NO, I don't pluck....but if I DID...there wouldn't be much to pluck! *rolls eyes*
Speaking of Peggy.. well, ANOTHER Peggy. My next door neighbor Peggy from Arkansas. Her daughter, who is Zoe's age, called Graland today to tell him that Peggy had died. :( Donna is in Florida now...she was going through some letters and came across one of ours. Then she decided to call. Peggy died last May. She was a single mom and a very good friend of ours. She was a heavy smoker...she called Donna in to her bedroom saying she couldn't breathe. :( 911 was called and sadly, she just didn't make it through the night. So Donna is now with other family. Actually, Peggy wasn't Donna's mother, but an aunt who took her in. ((Peggy)) We love you!

Monday, September 17, 2007

yes...she said Barbie!!!

While waiting for the bus lines last Friday, I was standing by our 3rd graders, talking with one that I had last year and another girl. One of them asked if I had dyed my hair this year. I said, Yes! Do you like it? They said, Yes, they did. Then one of them went on to add...You look like Barbie!

lol OK!! Not quite sure HOW I look like her...but I said OH! Thank you! and did a cutesy smile and laugh! lol

Had a great therapy today! You know the torturous fold the arm across your body without it breaking at the shoulder?! The one that just makes me hurt thinking about it? Well, it didn't hurt today!!! YEAH FOR ME!!! I can't believe it. Remember...back a few posts or so...fighting against Bea when she did that to me!! lol It was a great feeling! I love this kind of progress.

Now the rotating to the side...that's still unbearable, but I WILL get there! I know I will! :o)

Sunday, September 16, 2007

a great visit with Diana

and Val, Cynthia, Vic, Megan & Nick! Diana looks great as always! As did everyone! Megan has cute new car. Got caught up on all the families happenings.

Here is a picture of "the girls". Diana in the middle and Val on the right. :) I brought along my first appointment at MD report. To give her an idea of what her first day at MD will be like. Also a copy of my own biopsies that can be compared to hers.

In the meanwhile, visited also with Graland's folks. They lost power during the quick Humberto hurricane and got it back on Saturday. We hadn't visited a little while before I was a tired girl. Slept some on the way home. We got here and Graland said he was off to the grocery store. I offered to go with him and he said NO WAY!!! lol But I AM a tired on and am on my way to sleepy-ville.

I go back to MD Thursday for my visit with Dr. Green (chemo doctor) then round #5 on Saturday. YES!!!! Almost half way through the Taxol rounds. :o)

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Taxol 4 & Relay Garage Sale

Had my fourth round of Taxol this morning. We got up around 4 and left about 5:15 or so to get there for the 7 am appt. The only thing different is that they decreased my steroid dosage by more than half. It was uneventful. Had another awesome nurse in the lab for my initial stick in blood work. By the way...I am feeling sooo much better!!! Still have the coughs, but the neck ache and headache have finally subsided. I did tell the nurse giving me chemo that I had fever this week and a cough. She asked if I had contacted my, fever was never up to 101. She said originally that my numbers were good and had me hooked up ready to go. She called the doctor and found out everything was good enough to go ahead and do the treatment. I'm pooped tonight, but it has been a very long day!

After chemo (11:30) we had some lunch then went back home for a short time to check on the girls. Then we went over to Pedigo Park where Pine Ridge was having a Relay for Life Garage Sale (during Livingston Trade Days). Graland agreed to take me with the provision that I sit and only stay a very short while...a few minutes, but in those few...I got some GREAT items that I can't wait to wear to school!!! Shown is just part of the group that worked. Our counselors and some 1st grade teachers! The gorgeous scarf I'm wearing came from Kathryn, who is standing beside me! I love it!!! Greens, blacks, and definitely some animal print in it! :)
Forgot to say!!! NO ONE but the people living in this house have ever seen me without my hair or a scarf...UNTIL...Friday! Donna and I were talking and she asked about how the hair would grow back or something...don't remember!!! When I asked if she'd like to see it! I told her no one had ever asks and I didn't want to freak anyone out by just not having the scarf or hair on! lol She said YES I DO!!! Of course, I told her she had to feel it! Abbie just runs her hand across it all the is soft and fuzzy. Told her I was going to come to her house last weekend (after our fluency test with the students..where a couple had trouble with the word *I*. I told her I was going to come with my scarf on and tell her it was time to see me without it. Cause I sure don't mind. BUT, I was going to have an *I* marked on the back of my head and explain that ALL my kids knew that word...don't know why?! lol

About that time, Heather was coming down the hall and passing by Donna's door so I called her in. She thought it was cool looking too. And was very sweet in saying that I had a nice face for the hairstyle! :o) awwwwww Put my hair back on quickly and asked how long it took THEM in the morning to do THEIR hair!! ha ha
Speaking of hair...Abbie keeps saying it is growing may be...just a little. But, at the same time, I've been noticing that I have hair on my shirt. Plucked some earlier and yep, it's still just falling out! lol I haven't been bald yet, but it may still be to come.
And one other thing...errrrr! My fingers and my brain are not working in complete unison anymore. When I type, I have to go back over many times to get it right. Backward combinations, strange words...and I am a very good typist too! When I write to Zach sometimes he gives me a ??? in reply....cause the words are odd! Also, this morning I couldn't remember my patient number!! You have to write it every time and say it to anyone you meet there (doctors/nurses) for safety. It is 6 numbers and I got the two sets of 3 backwards, but keep the doubles in the place they were supposed to be, so the number was a complete loss!! I had to go ask Graland what the number was! Hope I don't get much worse.

Friday, September 14, 2007

I am not alone. :o(

First of all...had a good day at school! Still the headache and scratchy throat, but no fever. Hopefully, will be able to get my chemo in the morning.
Got a call from Val this afternoon after I got home from school. Diana (oldest sister) had her routine exam and mammogram last Friday. Apparently they found something and she got a biopsy done. Ultrasounds found a couple of places. Thankfully, one was benign, but the other was cancer. Another sister with breast cancer and on the same side, strangely.

Her doctors are sending her to MD Anderson as well. I told Diana the names of all my doctors in case they can get her in earlier. From the sound of it, she has only one tumor and it is small...the doctors had a hard time finding it in the ultrasound. So praying this is one of those early detections that can be taken care of quickly and easily.

I've put her on my prayer chains..the Methodists and the Baptists, as well as my ladies board I go to daily. I know how prayer has worked in my life and pray it will be extended to her.

I hope she sees through me that this is a do-able thing..and that faith is most of the journey.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

not sure where I belong?

After going in Monday, I soon left to spend the day at home.

Tuesday was a good day..wasn't near 100% or anything, but enjoyed my day teaching. Even went to therapy afterwards. Told them I only wanted half a session to keep up my strength. And they took it pretty easy on me. Had Elaine this was nice to hold her hand! lol

Forgot some things at school, so passed back by there on the way home. Went ahead and took my temp since I had the thermometer with me...99.5 grrr. By evening it was 100.1 So, I take a shower, call for a sub, call Donna to let her know..also to let her know that Graland is NOT letting me out of the I can't get things together for the sub...then of course, she's on Graland's side! lol GOOD!! Go to bed!

By 7 I am in bed and sooo cold! I'm not supposed to take anything for a fever (only for pains or headaches..they want to be able to see a fever..usually sign of infection), but I do take a Motrin. I know this is jut a cold or soar throat. I usually wear a sleeveless jammy to bed, but I wore sleeves this time. Kids were very quiet..never heard a peep! By 9 I am so hot...I'm tossing aside the jammies. Then sleep the rest of the night.

At lunch today Graland told me he had been praying on the steps in the bedroom for me and that he was so thankful when he saw me tearing off the jammies...his prayer had been answered...fever gone and body back to normal.

I have to say my voice is horrible!! Still have the headache some, neck ache still there. And lots of coughs! BUT, as long as there isn't a fever, I am going to teach. I had another very good rest day today, and waiting for the fever to be gone all day..which it has been pretty good at doing (being gone, that is). I have taken several more naps today and have been as peaceful as I possibly can.

I have to say though, the coughs in my class DID seem to subside considerably over the weekend! I had a couple that were at a coughing war it seemed. Hopefully, we can move past this and get on with school!!!

I don't get it...I can rest all day and then get the fever in the evening!!! UGH!! What do I do??!!!

Monday, September 10, 2007

quiet day at home

Still didn't feel well when I got to school. Graland had fixed my lunch and put in drinks for the day to keep me up. I took along some Motrin, some Halls cough drops, and my thermometer. I did some clean up around the room and started getting my things ready for the day. Told Donna in the hall that I didn't feel well, but that as long as I didn't have a fever I was staying.

Went back to my room and took my temp and had a fever. A low one... just over 99, but I had the feeling it would only go higher, so I called in for a sub. I was sooo relieved when Mrs. Glover said she'd take my class!!!

As the kids came in, I left and came home. Got right into my jammies and laid on the recliner. Took my temp again and nothing. I mean, all day...nothing!!! I know I had a lot of people praying for me this morning. I HAD to have! And I know I was covered all day. The throat, head, and neck are still doing their thing and I'll take something before bedtime.

Looking forward to a good sleep and being able to teach tomorrow. Thanks so much if you were one who was praying for me today!!! Praise God that He hears our prayers.

calgon...take me away!!!

you name it...I hurt there! My neck is killing me, my head is pounding, my throat hurts. I DID talk with Val last night and she told me to gargle with salt water..and I did. It probably is what got me to sleep ALL night last night..with throat not hurting...will do it again before I leave for school. I could just lay my head down now and stay there the rest of the day.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

not feeling well

I DO think I'm coming down with something. :( I'm so tired and just feel well at all. Drug out. Scratchy throat that is beginning to hurt and perhaps a headache coming on. Not the way to begin a week.

But, I am prepared for the week and will get through somehow. As long as I don't get a fever, I think I'll be OK.

what a pain in the neck!!

No, really! I have a pain in my neck!! lol Pretty much kept me for waaaaay too long. Even tried sleeping in the recliner for a while. Finally took some Motrin (yeah!!! I can take it again!) and guess I eventually fell asleep in bed. Still hurts this morning. I don't know if it is the chemo or my just sitting wrong in the bed during chemo. Hoping it makes it curtain call sometime today. This morning would be nice! :o)

OH YES!!! I keep forgetting to add that Sherry said I might have just a couple more weeks of therapy left. Then she'll let me go for a few weeks to let me exercise on my own at home before returning for a checkup/measurement. Then if I've regressed, I'll go back. If not and doing better, I'll check out! It's hard to imagine STILL that it was so bad!!! After just a month...well, it was longer than that! But completely GONE?! It has come SO far...and I would like it to come further. Why must it still hurt?! I am so thankful that I have useable range of motion. I can get through any day unless it is a job doing something over my head (stapling or something). But those strange movements when I really have to rotate the arm...OUCH!!! and sometimes just plain forget it! Then OTHER times when I barely do anything to it and it seems to pinch a nerve or something and it brings you your knees. ugh BUT at least it is moving enough to DO that, so I can't complain.

PLEASE PRAY that I'm not coming down with a cold! Scratchy throat, some sneezing, and a little coughing. errrrr I don't know WHY though!!! Just because they're coughing all over the room, hmmmm makes me wonder!! lol

Saturday, September 8, 2007

3 rounds down! quarter of the way through!

Felt like we were the only ones driving in Houston this morning...the roads were so empty! It was SO foggy, but by the time we got to downtown, the buildings were clear and crisp. Got there again in record time!

Bloodwork, breakfast, then chemo. A lady complimented my hat & scarf. I QUICKLY gave all the credit to Peggy, my SIL, who made the hats for me. And told her I just added the scarf around it. She said her hair was going quickly and that she'd need one pretty soon. She was an older woman.

We caught the tail end of Charlie's Angels (Drew, Lucy, Cameron). Not sure if the movie was supposed to be a comedy?? I thought it was a hoot! Could barely hear it in the waiting room, but it was funny as all get out. I assume that Bill Murray was supposed to be Bosley? It was funny...something I would never have chosen at the movie gallery.

I had the hardest time waking up this morning. Slept a lot on the way there, then slept in the waiting room AND during the treatment. Which I must add was very surprising as I had an exciting, yes riveting Nancy Drew book with me. I'm finding the ones I've never read before (I know, this is really sad!!!). But there are a small handfull I haven't read and it is good, don't have to think any, reading. Which, at this time, is a big deal to me!! lol BTW, it was book #7 when Ned is introduced!!! I couldn't believe it! I guess I thought he was always a part of Nancy's life. I feel as though I've reverted back to my younger girl days! Kinda fun! And, of course, VERY predictable. They're almost as fun as the Charlie's Angels movie. She gets in trouble at every turn, but gets out of it every time unscathed. Or, has a rock thrown at her head in EVERY book, narrowly missing her, and COULD HAVE KILLED HER!!! lol But never touches her. They have luncheon, not lunch...I could go on. Zoe laughs at me cause I always read her the goofy lines..the's a hoot! I know they aren't supposed to be comedies either, but they are to me! :)

Still feeling good after chemo...yes, took ANOTHER nap when I got home!

Can I say how much I LOVE the way the cafeteria at school is set up now?! We have fabulous curtains hung over some ugly double doors and checked tablecloths over the teachers tables. And the tables are set up differently this year and now I can hear ALL of our team!!! I could never hear anybody when they spoke! Unless you're facing me, forget it! I can't hear you! Now that we're in a big square group..I can catch all the conversations at once. It really is set up as a big family table where we're all together without having to yell down the table. Thanks PRE!!!

And about the Relay for Life garage sale...keep in mind that chemo is 14 THOUSAND dollars per treatment!!! Bring in the goods. Too many people aren't as fortunate as I am having insurance. I do have to pay my huge deductible and out of pocket fees (3,000) but after that I'm covered. People have two to pay or not. Let's get this thing GONE! It's effects are so far more than just insurance. It hurts. We hurt. Our families hurt. Our friends hurt. Our children who are now afraid of getting this themselves hurt. Wanting to use bad words now, so maybe I should stop. Praise God that I have HOPE. Again, lots of people have insurance, but no hope. Insurance is no good without hope. Without faith. I'd have chunked the insurance along with dying without hope or faith. I have the hope and the faith that I've been healed. I KNOW that God is watching over me and He has shown me His promises. But that's ME, not most people. A double whammy. Nothing. And that's empty. At least my empty is an empty tomb (not mine, HIS!), but their empty is an empty hole. It's not about whose team makes the most's just saving lives..and sadly, maybe your own.

I am reminded of a beautiful picture of PRE holding a Relay banner for me. Again, I have to say as I did above, it's not just about could be about any one of us.