Saturday, September 29, 2007

update to Taxol 6

We had a great time at chemo today!! I brought all my grading and didn't touch a bit of it!! Didn't even look at it! :) Had a nice nurse. Everything went smoothly UNTIL.... she never came back! lol I mean after 30 minutes and we knew the taxol was finished, we called the nurse button and said it didn't beep, but 30 minutes ago it finished! (ok...we were watching I Love Lucy...) so they say they'll find my nurse. Again time goes on... She comes in and says Are you finished? I was like, Yeah, an hour ago. WHAT?! she says. Yeah, we called about 30 minutes ago and they said they were going to find you. She says I didn't hear it beep! We say, Yeah, I told them when we called 30 minutes ago that it didn't beep and that is why we called for the nurse. She was apologetic, got me unhooked from the machine after flushing my port and we were on our way! :)

methinks maybe she was at lunch, but who knows! lol

Taxol Round 6 HALFWAY MARK!!!

What an exciting day!!! It is my halfway mark for Taxol. I have really enjoyed Taxol...isn't that the strangest thing to say? You enjoy chemo? Well, no, I don't enjoy chemo, but compared to the FAC, the Taxol is just lemonade. Really nothing to it, and if you're gonna get something that is nice to you, doesn't make you feel bad...this is it! :o)

Now, this isn't halfway for the 6 month treatment, I had that back in late Aug. But, breaking down THIS treatment of 12 weeks/12 treatments, THIS one is my halfway mark! I just feel so good about this! :o) Like it is all raise your you go down the other side of the mountain. We'll be leaving in just a little bit for MD.
Speaking of...talked with my sister last night and she was able to get in with my doctor (Ross) and also moved up a month for her initial testing. Yeah!
My neck is feeling so much better today!!! But then, last night at prayers, I did ask for a wonderful night's sleep and that my neck wouldn't keep me from sleeping!!! Praise God!!! My hand was OK too when I washed this morning! :o)
Some friends invited me to a ladies conference last night (and today..will go after chemo). It was incredible. I LOVE worship!!!! As we were singing, I stopped singing, closed my eyes and just kept silent. I asked to be closer and for this to not be about me, and little by little (of course my own flesh always seems to have it's own way and I don't think I get fully there) the people around me would fade and I would hear one collection of of was beautiful. (Here is the song I'd never heard of, but was so touched by it: Revelation Song Scroll to the bottom of the page there and you'll see a youtube for it to listen to it! )Like an entire sanctuary filled with women and not one had a bad voice...well, then, I AM the one NOT singing!! ha ha :o) But it was just much as I wanted to sing, I had to make myself not sing, so I could be in that fellowship. I'll miss a lot of the conference today, but I hope I can catch another part of worship...not sure...will have to check the schedule.

Diagnosed with breast cancer January 29, 2007.
Mastectomy (4/09/07) Reconstruction (4/25/07) & Chemo. Keep me in your prayers.
Big chemo 1 2 3 4 Taxol (weekly)1 2 3 4 5 [6] 7 8 9 10 11 12

Friday, September 28, 2007

think aches might be setting in

I think I am feeling this more and more. The last several mornings I have woken with a sore neck...and have to wait several hours during the day for it to pass. This morning I was washing my hands when I just exclaimed OUCH as I washed them! It just hurt to pass one hand over the next! I tried to recall if I had just slept on that hand or whatever, but no, it just hurt. Walking in school, my lower leg was hurting. But it seems to go away during the day, so I plan on ignoring it as long as I can. Not sure how our 50s days program will be. We're doing a dance, but hopefully I'll get a role that doesn't require too much of me just in case I can't work it out then. BUT, I will plan on keeping on as long as I can! :)

Sunday, September 23, 2007

1 more from yesterday TMI

TMI (too much information) for those who wanna stop now! lol Something else that I go through each visit, that if you're on chemo you'll be interested in this... Those bags of chemo go STRAIGHT through you! lol I got out of the bed and went straight to find the restroom. Well, we decided on the one in the hall instead of the treatment area (sorry, that was useless information there!) OK, so at the hall restroom. Go in, potty for a very long time, flush, wash hands. Go back to same stall, potty again, flush, wash hands, meet Graland in the hallway. Told him what I'd just done! lol We get in the elevator to go down a story to get to the skywalk that takes you to the parking garage (which chemo is RIGHT beside the elevator that goes to the skywalk!!! You don't have to wander the building!!) We're on the skywalk floor (2nd) and Graland says, as we're about to leave the building (and we're passing the restroom that sits adjacent to the sliding glass door leading to the skywalk) "You want to try one more time?" lol YES!!! So in the restroom again, yep, potty one more time (for old times sake!), flush, wash hands, meet Graland in the hallway!

And this is only the TWO bag chemo! The first rounds were FOUR! lol But on those, I'd take the chemo/IV stand into the restroom with me! There was NO WAY you could wait out all four bags!

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Taxol round 5..a 'coulda been bad' visit

What a leisurely day we had! :) Didn't have to leave for this chemo until 7:00am...that is like MID-day!!! We've been getting up at 5/5:30, but since I already had lab work on Thurs, we were able to leave later. YEAH! Traffic was good...and made it right at 8:30. Got in pretty quickly and actually went to the RIGHT room this time! The nurse got a kick out of my story from last week...going to the wrong room right after he told which one to go to! UGH! Anyway, the nurse came in and we did the ID check thing and meds you're on thing. The MOMENT she left, I exclaimed (pardon me) OH crap! Graland was like WHAT?! I forgot to put on my numbing cream on my port!!! We always have breakfast between lab work and chemo and time it perfectly for it be nice and numb for the chemo stick. OOOHHHH NOOOO!!!! So quickly get out the cream and load it on the port. By the time she comes back it's been on there about 12 minutes...usually put it on there 45 minutes prior to chemo. She was aware of all of this and said it may be too early for it to be working just yet. So thinking back to the nurse absolutely HURTING me when she did back in May, but ALSO thinking that that nurse was accessing it for the first time...and that part was already done now. So, kept the faith that it would be just fine and guess what? It was!!! It was a little stick, but no more than I get in my arm during blood work! (That other time, it stayed the entire treatment and afterwards!)

Got caught up on I Love Lucy (the famed stomping grapes for wine episode) and graded most of my papers from school and did grades. I questioned the nurse about there not being a blood word time listed on my next visit and she said there were only 3 more times that blood would be taken for me! YIPPEE!! Not that I mind giving blood, I'll do that anytime. It just adds an hour and a half to the trip!!! So, shorter trips! woohoo

Not sure, but I think my toes felt numb after treatment today. I'll keep an eye on it. I put some of my ice from my drink on them. (recommended from hospital)

I added a little signature area to my post today and may keep that up for a least during chemos to show you exactly WHERE I AM in my treatments! :o) As you can see, I just did round 5 of 12 rounds of Taxol.

Talked with Zach today and he sounded soooo good! We did a computer to computer voice chat through IM. He sent me a music file that he recorded on his mic of 3 guys in his dorm playing music: a guitar, a mandolin, and a violin. It as THE coolest music and I was thoroughly impressed with it!! Wished I was there!

Diagnosed with breast cancer January 29, 2007.
Mastectomy (4/09/07) Reconstruction (4/25/07) & Chemo. Keep me in your prayers.
Big chemo 1 2 3 4 Taxol (weekly)1 2 3 4 [5] 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

Friday, September 21, 2007

meeting with Dr. Green

Had my meeting with Dr. Green on Thursday after blood work. I told her about sister being diagnosed and she asked if I wanted to have genetic testing done to see if this was a genetic type cancer. I said yes, we had talked about this a while back and I had wanted to get it done whenever it was appropriate to do so. So, it will take a few weeks to get on the calendar for this. She said something about a mutated gene that is passed normally if you get this in your 30s or earlier...that would be genetic. But normally for an older person (like me) this is about the age you would get it genetic or not. And that w/o it being genetic, your odds are low of getting it.

With that said, she told me that her grandmother, aunt and sister have breast cancer, however, after seeing the genetic testing, she only has a 3% chance of getting it...because it wasn't a mutated gene that was passed along. (hope I got that right!!)

So, we'll see later what this testing says for us (for the girls).
She asked "about when did you get your fevers last week?" I answered "about the time all the kids coughed on me!!" lol In other words, it wasn't from the chemo. :) I was glad to answer "no" to most of the side effect questions. All but one...aches in the joints...which I do have in the legs. I get it more to the middle/end of the week. I feel it in my walking.
Sherry? It was my wedding band, wasn't it? :o) I remembered as soon as I got to the car!

Speaking of Sherry...I'm down to just ONE day a week now! Yeah! Although, it is sooo family is actually NOT good news for me! :o( But guess what Sherry? I am going for 100%!!! I WILL do it!! Maybe 97%, but as close to 100 as I can get! I AM going to start the rotation like you tested that I have NEVER made progress on. Abbie is helping me on that. Holding down my shoulder so it doesn't lift and rotating the arm forward to mat and backward (upward?) to mat above head. Also getting the arm straight up and over to my ear to mat. She loves to 'therapy' me and does a good rotation of the arm in all directions before going to the one in question. She does a good "You're doing so good!" just like you do, too! :)
We were blessed again by our church yesterday. A friend talked recently about humility....and that certainly applies to us...we are so humbled by these saints. It is amazing to see God at work.
Working on getting my waistline back!!! I just don't have my stomach muscles back yet! Just like the arm, I wasn't exercising the stomach and still can't lay down just using my body. I have to use my arms to lower myself or grab hold of my bent knees and roll myself down.
I am so glad that I don't have all the answers! Faith is NOT my being blind or my NOT doing something. I think I have done all that is possible in my case...and praise God that He has done the rest. He tells me to think of the things of today..and gosh there must be a reason! To keep my sanity! To keep me from despair or discouragement. Because when I think too far ahead, Satan attacks me. This can be seen as weakness or not doing what is best for me. But KNOWING that I AM doing ALL that I possibly could be doing at this moment, including diet, exercise, and most importantly, listening to God promises, I think I am right where He wants me to be. I thank the ladies I have spoken with recently for their encouragement and prayers!
Big day tomorrow! Round 5 of 12!!! ALMOST half-way there!!! Thanksgiving will be here in no time! These weekly's sure do make your year go by quickly! Not that I'd recommend this to anyone or anything!! ha ha

Wednesday, September 19, 2007


Graland came up behind me and said "Close your eyes and hold out your hands." So I did! And in my hands dropped my wedding band!!! Remember? It's been missing since my first round of chemo (end of May!). He found it in a drawer while cleaning some things today. So, off went my ring from the antique store and on went my ring from my beloved! :o) I was so excited!!

Tomorrow is an appointment with Dr. Green. I'll see her once a month on a Thursday, since she's not there on Saturdays when I do chemo. Will get blood work done, then visit with her.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

must be mid week...

my legs are aching again! It's nothing big, but just some ache to them. I'm thinking tomorrow's may be a little more than todays. We'll see. I don't say anything at school. We have a walking field trip next week to the museum and I've asked another teacher to take my place and I'll take her class (in the building) so I don't have to walk it.
Looks like more hair is falling out too! Kind of getting in the drain trap...little, short hairs! lol Graland said he thinks maybe this chemo (the weekend ones) will do the rest of the job to my fabulous short hairdo! But that's OK!!! I got these AWESOME care caps again from Peggy!!! A brown one and an army green one! They are sooo FALL! I looked the other day for brown and it was, I guess, too early for fall fabrics...even though the Christmas fabrics were out! lol I went in the closet and passed the brown one in front of my brown-ish outfits and it looks SO good!!! And the green one is excellent against my olive skin! :) Really looking forward to them now that it is getting cooler. I wear these mostly when I go to the hospital. Just been too hot/warm to wear it at home...unless there is company. But I am thrilled to have them now, esp. with the cooler weather coming on.

Speaking of hair...looks like I won't have to pluck my eyebrows much longer!! ha ha NO, I don't pluck....but if I DID...there wouldn't be much to pluck! *rolls eyes*
Speaking of Peggy.. well, ANOTHER Peggy. My next door neighbor Peggy from Arkansas. Her daughter, who is Zoe's age, called Graland today to tell him that Peggy had died. :( Donna is in Florida now...she was going through some letters and came across one of ours. Then she decided to call. Peggy died last May. She was a single mom and a very good friend of ours. She was a heavy smoker...she called Donna in to her bedroom saying she couldn't breathe. :( 911 was called and sadly, she just didn't make it through the night. So Donna is now with other family. Actually, Peggy wasn't Donna's mother, but an aunt who took her in. ((Peggy)) We love you!

Monday, September 17, 2007

yes...she said Barbie!!!

While waiting for the bus lines last Friday, I was standing by our 3rd graders, talking with one that I had last year and another girl. One of them asked if I had dyed my hair this year. I said, Yes! Do you like it? They said, Yes, they did. Then one of them went on to add...You look like Barbie!

lol OK!! Not quite sure HOW I look like her...but I said OH! Thank you! and did a cutesy smile and laugh! lol

Had a great therapy today! You know the torturous fold the arm across your body without it breaking at the shoulder?! The one that just makes me hurt thinking about it? Well, it didn't hurt today!!! YEAH FOR ME!!! I can't believe it. Remember...back a few posts or so...fighting against Bea when she did that to me!! lol It was a great feeling! I love this kind of progress.

Now the rotating to the side...that's still unbearable, but I WILL get there! I know I will! :o)

Sunday, September 16, 2007

a great visit with Diana

and Val, Cynthia, Vic, Megan & Nick! Diana looks great as always! As did everyone! Megan has cute new car. Got caught up on all the families happenings.

Here is a picture of "the girls". Diana in the middle and Val on the right. :) I brought along my first appointment at MD report. To give her an idea of what her first day at MD will be like. Also a copy of my own biopsies that can be compared to hers.

In the meanwhile, visited also with Graland's folks. They lost power during the quick Humberto hurricane and got it back on Saturday. We hadn't visited a little while before I was a tired girl. Slept some on the way home. We got here and Graland said he was off to the grocery store. I offered to go with him and he said NO WAY!!! lol But I AM a tired on and am on my way to sleepy-ville.

I go back to MD Thursday for my visit with Dr. Green (chemo doctor) then round #5 on Saturday. YES!!!! Almost half way through the Taxol rounds. :o)

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Taxol 4 & Relay Garage Sale

Had my fourth round of Taxol this morning. We got up around 4 and left about 5:15 or so to get there for the 7 am appt. The only thing different is that they decreased my steroid dosage by more than half. It was uneventful. Had another awesome nurse in the lab for my initial stick in blood work. By the way...I am feeling sooo much better!!! Still have the coughs, but the neck ache and headache have finally subsided. I did tell the nurse giving me chemo that I had fever this week and a cough. She asked if I had contacted my, fever was never up to 101. She said originally that my numbers were good and had me hooked up ready to go. She called the doctor and found out everything was good enough to go ahead and do the treatment. I'm pooped tonight, but it has been a very long day!

After chemo (11:30) we had some lunch then went back home for a short time to check on the girls. Then we went over to Pedigo Park where Pine Ridge was having a Relay for Life Garage Sale (during Livingston Trade Days). Graland agreed to take me with the provision that I sit and only stay a very short while...a few minutes, but in those few...I got some GREAT items that I can't wait to wear to school!!! Shown is just part of the group that worked. Our counselors and some 1st grade teachers! The gorgeous scarf I'm wearing came from Kathryn, who is standing beside me! I love it!!! Greens, blacks, and definitely some animal print in it! :)
Forgot to say!!! NO ONE but the people living in this house have ever seen me without my hair or a scarf...UNTIL...Friday! Donna and I were talking and she asked about how the hair would grow back or something...don't remember!!! When I asked if she'd like to see it! I told her no one had ever asks and I didn't want to freak anyone out by just not having the scarf or hair on! lol She said YES I DO!!! Of course, I told her she had to feel it! Abbie just runs her hand across it all the is soft and fuzzy. Told her I was going to come to her house last weekend (after our fluency test with the students..where a couple had trouble with the word *I*. I told her I was going to come with my scarf on and tell her it was time to see me without it. Cause I sure don't mind. BUT, I was going to have an *I* marked on the back of my head and explain that ALL my kids knew that word...don't know why?! lol

About that time, Heather was coming down the hall and passing by Donna's door so I called her in. She thought it was cool looking too. And was very sweet in saying that I had a nice face for the hairstyle! :o) awwwwww Put my hair back on quickly and asked how long it took THEM in the morning to do THEIR hair!! ha ha
Speaking of hair...Abbie keeps saying it is growing may be...just a little. But, at the same time, I've been noticing that I have hair on my shirt. Plucked some earlier and yep, it's still just falling out! lol I haven't been bald yet, but it may still be to come.
And one other thing...errrrr! My fingers and my brain are not working in complete unison anymore. When I type, I have to go back over many times to get it right. Backward combinations, strange words...and I am a very good typist too! When I write to Zach sometimes he gives me a ??? in reply....cause the words are odd! Also, this morning I couldn't remember my patient number!! You have to write it every time and say it to anyone you meet there (doctors/nurses) for safety. It is 6 numbers and I got the two sets of 3 backwards, but keep the doubles in the place they were supposed to be, so the number was a complete loss!! I had to go ask Graland what the number was! Hope I don't get much worse.

Friday, September 14, 2007

I am not alone. :o(

First of all...had a good day at school! Still the headache and scratchy throat, but no fever. Hopefully, will be able to get my chemo in the morning.
Got a call from Val this afternoon after I got home from school. Diana (oldest sister) had her routine exam and mammogram last Friday. Apparently they found something and she got a biopsy done. Ultrasounds found a couple of places. Thankfully, one was benign, but the other was cancer. Another sister with breast cancer and on the same side, strangely.

Her doctors are sending her to MD Anderson as well. I told Diana the names of all my doctors in case they can get her in earlier. From the sound of it, she has only one tumor and it is small...the doctors had a hard time finding it in the ultrasound. So praying this is one of those early detections that can be taken care of quickly and easily.

I've put her on my prayer chains..the Methodists and the Baptists, as well as my ladies board I go to daily. I know how prayer has worked in my life and pray it will be extended to her.

I hope she sees through me that this is a do-able thing..and that faith is most of the journey.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

not sure where I belong?

After going in Monday, I soon left to spend the day at home.

Tuesday was a good day..wasn't near 100% or anything, but enjoyed my day teaching. Even went to therapy afterwards. Told them I only wanted half a session to keep up my strength. And they took it pretty easy on me. Had Elaine this was nice to hold her hand! lol

Forgot some things at school, so passed back by there on the way home. Went ahead and took my temp since I had the thermometer with me...99.5 grrr. By evening it was 100.1 So, I take a shower, call for a sub, call Donna to let her know..also to let her know that Graland is NOT letting me out of the I can't get things together for the sub...then of course, she's on Graland's side! lol GOOD!! Go to bed!

By 7 I am in bed and sooo cold! I'm not supposed to take anything for a fever (only for pains or headaches..they want to be able to see a fever..usually sign of infection), but I do take a Motrin. I know this is jut a cold or soar throat. I usually wear a sleeveless jammy to bed, but I wore sleeves this time. Kids were very quiet..never heard a peep! By 9 I am so hot...I'm tossing aside the jammies. Then sleep the rest of the night.

At lunch today Graland told me he had been praying on the steps in the bedroom for me and that he was so thankful when he saw me tearing off the jammies...his prayer had been answered...fever gone and body back to normal.

I have to say my voice is horrible!! Still have the headache some, neck ache still there. And lots of coughs! BUT, as long as there isn't a fever, I am going to teach. I had another very good rest day today, and waiting for the fever to be gone all day..which it has been pretty good at doing (being gone, that is). I have taken several more naps today and have been as peaceful as I possibly can.

I have to say though, the coughs in my class DID seem to subside considerably over the weekend! I had a couple that were at a coughing war it seemed. Hopefully, we can move past this and get on with school!!!

I don't get it...I can rest all day and then get the fever in the evening!!! UGH!! What do I do??!!!

Monday, September 10, 2007

quiet day at home

Still didn't feel well when I got to school. Graland had fixed my lunch and put in drinks for the day to keep me up. I took along some Motrin, some Halls cough drops, and my thermometer. I did some clean up around the room and started getting my things ready for the day. Told Donna in the hall that I didn't feel well, but that as long as I didn't have a fever I was staying.

Went back to my room and took my temp and had a fever. A low one... just over 99, but I had the feeling it would only go higher, so I called in for a sub. I was sooo relieved when Mrs. Glover said she'd take my class!!!

As the kids came in, I left and came home. Got right into my jammies and laid on the recliner. Took my temp again and nothing. I mean, all day...nothing!!! I know I had a lot of people praying for me this morning. I HAD to have! And I know I was covered all day. The throat, head, and neck are still doing their thing and I'll take something before bedtime.

Looking forward to a good sleep and being able to teach tomorrow. Thanks so much if you were one who was praying for me today!!! Praise God that He hears our prayers.

calgon...take me away!!!

you name it...I hurt there! My neck is killing me, my head is pounding, my throat hurts. I DID talk with Val last night and she told me to gargle with salt water..and I did. It probably is what got me to sleep ALL night last night..with throat not hurting...will do it again before I leave for school. I could just lay my head down now and stay there the rest of the day.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

not feeling well

I DO think I'm coming down with something. :( I'm so tired and just feel well at all. Drug out. Scratchy throat that is beginning to hurt and perhaps a headache coming on. Not the way to begin a week.

But, I am prepared for the week and will get through somehow. As long as I don't get a fever, I think I'll be OK.

what a pain in the neck!!

No, really! I have a pain in my neck!! lol Pretty much kept me for waaaaay too long. Even tried sleeping in the recliner for a while. Finally took some Motrin (yeah!!! I can take it again!) and guess I eventually fell asleep in bed. Still hurts this morning. I don't know if it is the chemo or my just sitting wrong in the bed during chemo. Hoping it makes it curtain call sometime today. This morning would be nice! :o)

OH YES!!! I keep forgetting to add that Sherry said I might have just a couple more weeks of therapy left. Then she'll let me go for a few weeks to let me exercise on my own at home before returning for a checkup/measurement. Then if I've regressed, I'll go back. If not and doing better, I'll check out! It's hard to imagine STILL that it was so bad!!! After just a month...well, it was longer than that! But completely GONE?! It has come SO far...and I would like it to come further. Why must it still hurt?! I am so thankful that I have useable range of motion. I can get through any day unless it is a job doing something over my head (stapling or something). But those strange movements when I really have to rotate the arm...OUCH!!! and sometimes just plain forget it! Then OTHER times when I barely do anything to it and it seems to pinch a nerve or something and it brings you your knees. ugh BUT at least it is moving enough to DO that, so I can't complain.

PLEASE PRAY that I'm not coming down with a cold! Scratchy throat, some sneezing, and a little coughing. errrrr I don't know WHY though!!! Just because they're coughing all over the room, hmmmm makes me wonder!! lol

Saturday, September 8, 2007

3 rounds down! quarter of the way through!

Felt like we were the only ones driving in Houston this morning...the roads were so empty! It was SO foggy, but by the time we got to downtown, the buildings were clear and crisp. Got there again in record time!

Bloodwork, breakfast, then chemo. A lady complimented my hat & scarf. I QUICKLY gave all the credit to Peggy, my SIL, who made the hats for me. And told her I just added the scarf around it. She said her hair was going quickly and that she'd need one pretty soon. She was an older woman.

We caught the tail end of Charlie's Angels (Drew, Lucy, Cameron). Not sure if the movie was supposed to be a comedy?? I thought it was a hoot! Could barely hear it in the waiting room, but it was funny as all get out. I assume that Bill Murray was supposed to be Bosley? It was funny...something I would never have chosen at the movie gallery.

I had the hardest time waking up this morning. Slept a lot on the way there, then slept in the waiting room AND during the treatment. Which I must add was very surprising as I had an exciting, yes riveting Nancy Drew book with me. I'm finding the ones I've never read before (I know, this is really sad!!!). But there are a small handfull I haven't read and it is good, don't have to think any, reading. Which, at this time, is a big deal to me!! lol BTW, it was book #7 when Ned is introduced!!! I couldn't believe it! I guess I thought he was always a part of Nancy's life. I feel as though I've reverted back to my younger girl days! Kinda fun! And, of course, VERY predictable. They're almost as fun as the Charlie's Angels movie. She gets in trouble at every turn, but gets out of it every time unscathed. Or, has a rock thrown at her head in EVERY book, narrowly missing her, and COULD HAVE KILLED HER!!! lol But never touches her. They have luncheon, not lunch...I could go on. Zoe laughs at me cause I always read her the goofy lines..the's a hoot! I know they aren't supposed to be comedies either, but they are to me! :)

Still feeling good after chemo...yes, took ANOTHER nap when I got home!

Can I say how much I LOVE the way the cafeteria at school is set up now?! We have fabulous curtains hung over some ugly double doors and checked tablecloths over the teachers tables. And the tables are set up differently this year and now I can hear ALL of our team!!! I could never hear anybody when they spoke! Unless you're facing me, forget it! I can't hear you! Now that we're in a big square group..I can catch all the conversations at once. It really is set up as a big family table where we're all together without having to yell down the table. Thanks PRE!!!

And about the Relay for Life garage sale...keep in mind that chemo is 14 THOUSAND dollars per treatment!!! Bring in the goods. Too many people aren't as fortunate as I am having insurance. I do have to pay my huge deductible and out of pocket fees (3,000) but after that I'm covered. People have two to pay or not. Let's get this thing GONE! It's effects are so far more than just insurance. It hurts. We hurt. Our families hurt. Our friends hurt. Our children who are now afraid of getting this themselves hurt. Wanting to use bad words now, so maybe I should stop. Praise God that I have HOPE. Again, lots of people have insurance, but no hope. Insurance is no good without hope. Without faith. I'd have chunked the insurance along with dying without hope or faith. I have the hope and the faith that I've been healed. I KNOW that God is watching over me and He has shown me His promises. But that's ME, not most people. A double whammy. Nothing. And that's empty. At least my empty is an empty tomb (not mine, HIS!), but their empty is an empty hole. It's not about whose team makes the most's just saving lives..and sadly, maybe your own.

I am reminded of a beautiful picture of PRE holding a Relay banner for me. Again, I have to say as I did above, it's not just about could be about any one of us.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

must be wednesday...

I've been doing OK, but it seems that the middle of the chemo cycle...about Wed or Thurs...I get aches...mostly in my legs. Right now, they are hurting. But it just a reminder that the chemo is working and going through my body fighting the bad guys! :) Not sure too, if the aches are brought on by stress. We have a walkthrough tomorrow..that's not so bad, but I lost an important piece of paper that I am majorly stressed about! Looked for an hour already and will look again after I get something to eat.

Had a fun therapy yesterday! lol I'm afraid Sherry got just a little bit too chummy though and I hope that rumors are not abounding! lol Actually, Elaine was exercising a womans hand and they kinda laughed that they looked like they were holding hands. But even more, I was doing an exercise with a towel (like drying your back) to work on my rotation. But my shoulder has a mind of its' own and won't stay back and straight. So Sherry was holding it back and balancing with my other shoulder...almost like we were dancing! So Elaine is laughing at us "dancing". I put my fingers through Sherry's hair and ask what they're laughing about! Then kinda put my towel around her too.... lol They're laughing and we're laughing. Poor Sherry is 10 shades of red!!

On a more serious note...OUCH OUCH...she hurt me!! I have been feeling so tight and restricted, but she really pushed it! :) She can get my arm to almost all the way flat against the mat (above my head). A much as it hurts, I love going to therapy...they are angels in disguise.

On an ever more serious note....Shelly is leaving!!! I can't believe it! This is our Asst. Superintendent!!! She is incredible and did an awesome job filling in as Super and Asst. Super last year! She had so much on her plate and just came through with flying colors. I SO applaud her. Someone (Dr. Bonds) is getting a great Asst. Super.
when I came home earlier, I sat on the couch, took off my hair and wanted to cry!! I had lost a cum folder!!! I searched my room over, checked the file cabinets, you name it!! Nowhere to be found. :( Graland took me back to school and we searched the room again. Went back to the main files and searched EVERY grade level. And there he was...sitting in the THIRD grade withdrawals!!! Go figure! I didn't lose him!!! I never HAD him to lose in the first place!! What a relief and again, I wanted to cry I was sooo happy!!!

In the meanwhile..I have the aches. :( My walking is hurting.

Sunday, September 2, 2007

long night

Just couldn't get comfortable or go to sleep!! I was hot and only got relief when the air came on. My legs/knees wanted to hurt but I told them not to! I may sleep the rest of the day after church. Doesn't look like we're going to be able to go to Cynthia's. Abbie is stilling working on her fever..she got sent home on Friday morning from school. She had come to my room saying her throat hurt so I gave her some cough drops, but a little later the nurse came to my room saying she was going home...had about a 100. She just doesn't lose her fevers!! Hoping Zoe doesn't get it as well...she's got the sore throat too. =(

I'm noticing my speech is getting strange!! I am saying er for le. computle can't think of any others at the moment, but it is strange!

Saturday, September 1, 2007

Taxol Round 2 Day 1

Another early start! Left later than we wanted, but still got there in an hour and 15 minutes!! AND that was with a 10 minute or so DOWNPOUR!!! It was SOOOO bad! But it didn't last too long and I definitely prayed through it!!

Got to the blood lab and got called back very quickly. The nurse I had..WOW!!! First of all, she didn't kill my arm with the is usually VERY tight and hurts! Hers was just light and didn't hurt at all. THEN, she gives me the MOST gentle stick I've ever had!!! Talk about phenomenal!! You're thinking...oh goodness...phenomenal? YES!!! When you've been stuck as many times as I have, you know a good stick when you feel one and this one was the BEST!! I even told her I wanted HER the next time. What a pro!

Went down to the cafeteria and had breakfast..scrambled eggs, bacon, and hash browns. Delicious!

We arrived at chemo a little early and went in within 5 minutes! They got me started very quickly. I asked about the steroids at the beginning...they are to keep problems from coming up, keep away allergic reaction, and will have a slight anti-nausea effect to it. After the next round they will lower the dosage. Again, this nurse did a wonderful job on the stick to the chemo port-a-cath on my upper chest.

Let me mention here that in the past the disinfectant (or whatever it is that cleans the area to prep it for the stick) is normally hard to bear. It is very strong and the smell has made me nauseous. I've learned that I can just keep my mouth closed and breathe from my nose to keep from smelling it. But this time, I was curious! She cleaned the area but the strong smell wasn't there. I was almost concerned that she hadn't cleaned it! I did, however, smell a lemon smell...kind of like lemon pledge.

When the chemo was through (I graded papers, put grades on a gradebook, and napped for the hour), she took the bandages off and again I smelled the lemon. Obviously, someone did something VERY right!!! The nurse last time (when I mentioned it being so strong) said it would be nice if they made it a more settling scent. And there it is!! :) So, I didn't start or end my treatment with that ick of a smell! yeah!! Every little bit helps and that was a biggie!

Afterwards, we went to Micheals for some letter stamps for a project I have going. Then to WalMart for groceries. We parked WAAAAAAAY on the end of the parking lot. (ahem) I mentioned that someone must have forgotten that someone else had JUST had chemo!! lol

Hoping with this feeling well we'll go to Cynthia's tomorrow! It has been our plan and Graland mentioned it today, so hopefully I'll still be doing well in the morning for church and we'll make our way over. :) Haven't seen anyone since Zach's graduation!