R2 D12

Took the girls to school with me today while I ran morning work for the next school year. They watched a movie and I moved desks around and studied the bulletin boards.

Kinda felt not right during a movie this evening though and sure enough had a very low fever...98.9. A little while later Graland and I prayed and it is now at 97.9!! God is so good! We just have to keep it there! I'm keeping my cap off tonight so I don't keep in any heat..not sure if that is the right thing to do or not, but I'm doing it.

Finally got a call yesterday from the doctor here in town that yes, I do have a UTI and they called in a prescription for me that I picked up today. Will be on it for 10 days.

Ready for bed and SOOO hoping to make it to church tomorrow.

time for a haircut!

Had a great day! Got a haircut today!! PT kicked my tail...still feeling the effects. Looking forward to a good collapsing into bed tonight! Sherry gave me a theraband to use at home to exercise my arm. Looks like a giant rubber band you attach to a doorknob or other stationary object. Then pull against for a good stretch.

R2 D9 & 10 rest revisited

I can't believe I would leave out the biggest reason I couldn't sleep in bed! My abdomen!!! With the tummy tuck, I couldn't turn, lie flat, or get into a seated position to get out of bed. My scar there is doing so well and is still healing nicely. Look forward to the day when it blends in with my skin tone. It still hurts to sneeze and I don't think I ready yet for crunches. Though I have to say that toned, sculpted abs SOOOO appeals to me!! I'll have to take out my TaeBo for abs again (one day).

Another thing that has come to pass..or in this case NOT come to pass is AF. The doctor had told me the chemo would leave me sterile (which I'm OK with!!!), so no AF. Sure enough, Aunt Flo was supposed to be here this week and she never arrived. The lousy part about that is that they tell me I still have to use some type of protection. grrr They don't want any babies during chemo...even though no Af/sterile. Don't really get it, but I'm listening...and no, I'm not wanting to get pg during chemo (or after chemo for that matter!).

On to better news...I think my UTI went away on it's own!!! I had a urine culture done several days ago and it STILL has not come back. That was on Monday. They said it would take 72 hours. Didn't give me anything/ or any suggestions for in the meantime. ahem Called Donna and she said lots of Cranberry juice and then my sister Val (a PA) said Vitamin C (which is in Cranberry juice). So I'm doing both. I CANNOT do straight Cranberry juice and kudos for you if you can. YUCK!!! But I did find a 100% Cranberry and other juices. I love it!!! So I do that and the Vitamin C tablets. No more burning or running for the bathroom every 3 minutes. I imagine the doctors office will call sometime with a prescription...which I won't have to use!

On to still better news! I am about ONE inch away from being able to stretch my arm up and touch the top jamb of the door!!!!! I couldn't get it past my hip when I started PT. We mark the bathroom door opening as to how far I can reach. It started out about rear high. I couldn't reach at all. And now I can crawl my fingers up as far as ALMOST the very top!!! I could cry!!! THANK YOU SHERRY!!!! AND BEA!!! and all the other PTs at Bea's House of Torture. :o) Rotating out to the side is still a bear and I don't think I'm ready to beat anyone up yet. Tried doing Turbo Jam the other other night...wasn't ready for that one either!! lol But it WON'T BE LONG!!! YIPPPPEEEEEEE

R2 D8 I DID IT!!! 64 days & thoughts on PT

It happened!!! After 64 days I slept in bed ALL night!!! The arm doesn't hurt any when I sleep in the recliner, but put me in bed and it is VERY painful! I can't get enough pillows or the right angle, or just breathe on my back! I have made multiple attempts that have lasted an hour and a half at the most before going back to the chair. But last night I was the there the whole time!! Graland said he kept waking and looking over to see if I was still there! :o)

I did roll over in the morning to face Graland, which had me rolling onto my arm. Wasn't so bad until I rolled off of it and I got this seering pain that went away quickly enough but I know not to lay on it just yet.

Now, a word about therapy. DON'T WAIT!!! I asked my doctor each time I went in if it was OK to start exercise on it and he always said no. By the time I did go a couple MONTHS later, my shoulder was completely frozen up. I thought the little rotating the arm around in a circle (little circle toward the floor) was baby stuff that wouldn't matter. DON'T think that!! Every little movement counts. PT said they usually tell people to start 2 weeks later. I was always afraid of busting a stitch. VERY afraid!! Movement. And when your stitches start to heal, you need to start massaging them so you don't get scar tissue underneath. That is another thing we are working on now and it HURTS when PT mushes in on them sooo hard. BUT I can lift now when I couldn't earlier.

One good question Sherry from PT asked the other day...what can you now with your arm that you couldn't do when you got here. Here goes! Raise it higher than 2 inches! I can roll the window on my van, can pull the parking brake, and close the door. I can shampoo, put on eyeliner, and get into a pullover shirt. And now...I can sleep in my own bed! :o) I can't wait to share that tomorrow at PT!!!

Can I share that straight Cranberry juice is the most horrible thing I've ever tasted!! UGH

R2 D7 test results

Having a good day! First off, I went to PT where they put me through the wringer! I stayed longer than normal..did weights, weight machine, the wall, stretches to near tears, and the little bicycle wheel you do with your arms. I felt so silly...couldn't get the thing to go!!

Afterwards, I went to school and saw the kids in summer school and worked in my room a little. Also found out one of our 2nd grade team (Mrs. Laird) is leaving. :(

I put in a call this morning to Dr. Green's office as it appears by my having to "go" 100 times a day that I've got a UTI. Ouch! :o( When I got a call back from her office, she directed me to go to my regular home doctor and get a culture done and find out whats going on. Hopefully, I will get a prescription for it tomorrow MORNING!!

While I was on the phone, the nurse said she had my ultrasound results. They found 2 nodules in the right thyroid. Said something about (reading my notes, but not really following them) hypervasular thyroid. Dr. Green is sending me to the endocryn (?) doctor to see what they want to do. She said my TSH was at 0.55 and my 3P4 is low. That's right, that means absolutely nothing to me!! But, she added that it tells me that I'm on the borderline of being hyperthyroid. To end the conversation, I commented that there was nothing cancerous about it though, right? And she agreed, no, nothing cancerous!!! God is soooo good!!! Satan sure puts things there that make me want to doubt/forget about what He's already done for me! Which is complete healing!! Our prayers do not come back void!!!

OH WAIT!!! Best news of all today!!! Leatrice, my student from a couple of years ago was in the cafeteria when I was there today. As always, since she has always been a sweetie-pie of mine (I will miss her next year as she goes off to the Intermediate) I went over to give her a big hug. She looked up at me and said, "Did you dye your hair?" I said, I sure did...you like it?

R2 D6 Sunday

Feeling great again! Church was wonderful. We have two interns this summers and one preached last week and the other this week (Mike has been out of town on vacation.) They've done a beautiful job in his absence.

Walked into church and they had already started the singing. It was the first time I had worn the new hair so publicly. I ran back to Susan D. and asked for her to pray for me..that I wasn't feeling all that comfortable at the moment! I had it tucked behind my ears like I normally do, so it looked real cute.

Best of all...remember I told you I had more hair than Jay (I still do!), well, I was sitting next to his wife in Sunday School and she said she really liked my hair. I told her that I had written about Jay in my blog about having more hair than him, ha ha... and she said, So that's a wig? I coulda melted!! If she was lying, it was the best lie I've ever heard. (But she wasn't, which made me feel so good!)

OK...yesterday's links to music. No, it really wasn't me! It was the Newsboys!!! Best Christian Contemporary Music group!!! The other day I got out of the shower and my purple eyeliner was kinda raccoon looking around my eyes...I told Graland...Look! I look like the lead singer from the Newsboys!! lol I love the first link...He Reigns. The chorus: its all Gods children singing glory glory, hallelujah he reigns, he reigns.

Like I said in my previous post...that's ME singing those words!! Hallelujah!! And YES YES YES...that's me with my arms lifted high and knees falling to the ground....

Tomorrow is therapy!! I can't wait!!! :o) And that was with ZERO sarcasm!!!

Mary Smart..you'll like this... Arise My Love in sign (click the words to the left) the filming isn't the greatest, but you'll like the song, esp. near the end when it changes...you'll know when! I would have LOVED to have been in the audience for this one....I'd have been jumping up and down!

R2 D5

Slept very peacefully last night and took a nice, easy day today! Wore my new hair for a while today to try to get used to it. I will wear it tomorrow to church...and hopefully make it through without hiding in the bathroom! lol It really is a cute do, but just new, so I'm a bit self-conscious about it. I guess if I had gotten something very plain Jane it wouldn't be so bad...but probably not! Just the change of it is all. If anyone falls to the floor laughing or pointing, I'll go home...and, well, probably change churches!! ha ha Just kidding...as if they'd do that!! They are a marvelous, supportive, loving group! :o)

I did something kinda out of the ordinary this weekend...I sang lead in a group at church! You'll love the song and get a chance to see me without the wig! Don't cringe!

Here I am singing He Reigns < < the link works now! You do NOT want to miss this one!!!

If you liked me singing that one, but couldn't really see my new hairdo...try this one...me singing Something Beautiful.

OK...I'm really cuter than that!! :o)

R2 D4 ultrasound on neck

Didn't go to PT this morning. Guess I've been a sleeper today. Slept going and coming back from Houston. They did an ultrasound on my neck area to check the thyroid. I guess that is somehow where goiter comes from?? I don't know, but on the ultrasound screen I noticed her descriptions had thyroid in it. I don't know how I feel about the visit. I suppose not so good. She showed me where the node was, which was fine. Then she left to show the radiologist my scans and when she came back she asked (for the radiologist) what stage I was in. Now, I just don't like that! And frankly, it upset me! Why would she want to know unless there was a problem? So, I wait for the results.

Hopefully, I'll be more up tomorrow. It's been a long day and I'm a tired puppy.

R2 D3

Glad I took pictures yesterday! lol My eyes are a bit droopier today! I woke up great this morning...even reminded Graland how during Round 1 I slept the whole day and how much better I was this time. Breakfast was great, but when he brought lunch..I thought...Oh, yuck! So I had one of the (in-between) anti-nausea pill before eating. I'm going to do better this week about taking those in between the regular anti-nausea pills.

But I'm going to have a GREAT day!!!

btw...my new desks came in this week for school!!! YIPPPPEEEEE!!! They are being put in the room this week, so can't wait to go in next week to check them out and get them in place. Talk about completely change the look of the room from the big yellow tables (which I loved, but gave up to Kindergarten).

Thanks so much for the sweet comments on my new do!! Just wear the do-rag thing around the house, but love the hair too! :)

R2 D2 the NEW ME!! :)

Here is the new me!! Feeling great after yesterday's chemo. Slept like a log last night and haven't had any nausea or anything. In fact, I felt well enough to go into PT this morning. After wall, Dr. Green said I would be feeling fine, so I am! I am thrilled with my new do...it's what my hair last year was SUPPOSED to do, but didn't! lol Have a great appetite and thankfully so, as we were delivered a feast the other night!

(EDITED TO ADD: keep in mind this is my first day with the new wig...I didn't know how to style it yet!! Much better picture here. )

I had the best conversation with an older man at PT!! He told me how good my color was (no, he was NOT hitting on me!! lol). I told him I had chemo yesterday and I think I floored him. He told me he was doing well and in fact, he said his doctor didn't think he needed to go to PT anymore, but he argued for it. I told him I agreed with him. He knows what a great group it is there, how encouraging and helpful. Yes, we all hurt while we're there, but just knowing that we are getting stronger each time means the world...and being in such a nice, safe, and non-threatening environment is an added bonus. I think if he or I needs to be there if only for piece of mind and to let your body know it's moving in a positive direction, then DO IT!! :o)

R2 D1 2nd chemo & haircut

Had such a looooong day yesterday! Started at 8am for my blood work to make sure my white blood counts were up so I could do my second round of chemo. Let me tell you upfront that I have been feeling awesome!! Can eat, go to physical therapy, church, etc. At 10am when I saw my doctor, she said my counts were low!! grrr I said, You're kidding!! I feel GREAT!! Normal range is 1500, low range is 1000. I was 1100. So there was question whether I'd get in today or if I'd have to come back in a few days. Turned out she let me go ahead and get it. I just need to watch for sick people, so I don't catch anything.

Also while I was there, she asked if I had goiter!! WHAT??!!! (actually another nurse and she gave it to doctor) Apparently I have a large area at the base of my neck. So, more bloodwork for that. She didn't think it was anything related to what I'm going through now, so good! :) The OTHER thing was a rather personal problem! *rolleyes* My youngest is 8 years old. I breastfed, but when we stopped...it all stopped! Now 8 years later, I am getting a tiny bit of leakage!! Can you imagine??!!! It's only happened maybe 3 times, but she did a breast check and sure enough some came out. She says, Um...that's a lot of milk! :lol So, another test to check the prolactin level on that. Doctor assumed me that the March xrays and sonogram showed nothing going on there, so again, she's not worried, but getting it checked out!

Best news of all!! She asked dozens of questions about my first round: headaches, nausea, vomiting, mouth ulcers, you name it, she asked it. I was a pretty resounding no to most of her questions! :) A couple of headaches (they come from the anti-nausea meds) and a day of feeling some nausea (but not to the point of vomiting). Other than that, after that first 4 days, I was doing great!! OK, here's the good news, she said, That's good to hear...you first round is normally your worst! YIPPPEEEEE I told her I was going to believe that and plan on an awesome round! I canceled my PT for Wed & Fri, but I'm going in this morning, by golly!

The big question: did I get my hair cut?! YES!! Imaging GI Jane and NOT Brittany Spears!! :howl It isn't to the scalp and shiny clean, but it is the very lowest setting they had, which I really like!! I look like I could kick some butt with this hairdo!! But I do have caps and a couple of wigs (they gave me one free when I got my cut) thta I spent a lot of time on last night.. Graland said, You must be excited about all your new choices! I am!! :)
Answer: NO!!! I didn't break down, go into hysterics, or even shed a tear!! Graland waited outside while I got it cut in case I needed to let it all out! :hug But the lady and I joked the whole time. She wasn't sure if I was ready to get it cut as I still had so much hair. But I grabbed it from the size and she did to to pull out a large handful of hair! :lol She says, Yep! You're ready all right!

She told me about how I could get one of the wigs from the other room (small selection) and how that wives will pick one but their husbands always say, No go for the red head, or other sexy looking wig. She says you can always tell their fantasies!! :howl We had a good time. I guess if it weren't falling out all over the place and the hassle it was getting to be, it would have been different. But it WAS a hassle!! I couldn't wait to get there to get it done! (git-r-done as the rednecks would say!) So, I like it..and know the prickle-ys will fall out eventually, but right now, I LOVE my prickles!!

(Just want to mention for Sunday School...that I still have MORE hair than Jay!! I told them last Sunday that I was getting a Jay cut.)

Well, off to PT! As always, keep me in your prayers...this is obviously all that gets me through each day!! There is no way and no reason why I should be positive...but I know I have a zillion people praying. If you didn't know how far your prayers went, then now you do. I have such a faithful God! :)

Also, it was soooo good to hear from Graland growing up years Rhonda & Roy yesterday!! You are so encouraging !! Thanks so much for sharing your heart with us. And, Donna, you always know just the words to say... :) I took them with me yesterday to the hospital. ((hug)) In case anyone is wondering...Donna has a new theme song...but I'm saying what it is!! ha ha

Round 1 Day 21

Another great PT day! YEOW...they can smush down on your scars!! But, YES!!! They are more pliable and I can lift my arm with so much more ease! I can lift sideways to about a 90 degree. And of course, I can't remember what I was on the rest!! BUT, they are doing great!!

Picked out an outfit for tomorrow..actually it is what is in the picture shown...so I could get the same kind of picture for a before and after. I am SOOOO looking forward to getting the shave tomorrow before my chemo..it is getting so messy. Don't even think of shampooing!! It's hard to brush, shampoo, or take out a stray hair without a mess! Haven't been over to the bed since this started to be so messy! Here I am the day before "the big day"!

More importantly, Zach called and he sounds like he's having a great time despite the no wireless internet!! lol He has talked with an adviser (who may be one of the Computer Science professors) and will do the actual registration tomorrow. He has a minor now of Finance/Economics! He said it was something that interested him, so I am thrilled for him! His first semester will be a computer class, physics, plane geometry, economics, and an SFA Honors class. He's excited that next semester they'll let him double up on his computer classes. :) He comes home tomorrow!!! :D

Round 1 Day 20 Father's Day

Had a good Father's Day! Fought off a headache for a while, but finally got past it. Zach took off first thing to go to SFA and to try to beat the rains (which he was able to do). I had gone to the restroom during the church service and thought Graland had come to check on me, but apparently Zach had called to let us know he got there safely. :D YEAH!!! Thank you God!! He called this evening and reported that everything was going well. Sadly, his dorm doesn't have wireless internet, so he'll have to go elsewhere for it on campus. Hopefully, the dorm he'll be in this fall with have it. Although it doesn't matter...he just didn't bring the extra cord he needed for the internet. He saw Megan (cousin)...she's at band camp there this week! Too cool!! Hi, Megan!! I think your Mom just wrote a comment to me...but was afraid to sign her name! Was it her, was it not???? I dunno!!! lol bushhog..hummph!!

Is it Tuesday yet?? Looking forward to seeing my boy again and reading through his literature. Of course, by the time we get home, he'll be back and then gone to his night class!!

Did some more hair pulling earlier...gosh, there's a lot there!! It was sooo thick...not so much anymore..no patches & you can't see through to my scalp, BUT, if I wanted to, I could very easily. Didn't wash my hair last night...which happens once in a blue moon for me not to wash it nightly...so it would still be there for church! But just raking your hand through...it really is incredible!

Strangely, halfway looking forward to this...have some really cute hats and scarves. Did I say that I got new glasses? I had to get bifocals this time and picked out what I thought would be some nice frames. But when I got them, I was a bit disappointed..thought they were a tad too wide. So, since they were under a 60 day satisfaction period, I took them back in. I had tried on one of my caps and tucked my hair in all the way and my frames just looked BAD with it!! If you're gonna have to wear a cap...you MUST at least have frames that you love with it!! So, I have new frames now that are a tad smaller and black. My caps are dark colored..black one and a navy one..so the dark frames are great!! Actually, I told the clerk the truth...having chemo, about to lose it, they look bad with my caps...I need an exchange. They were wonderful...it was an even exchange! :) YEAH!!

2 days til Tuesday! :D By the way, the day of chemo isn't bad...it doesn't hurt. I'll be there all day for testing and such, but the actual thing doesn't hurt or burn, or anything. The yucks save themselves up for when you get home. But I've decided to just not feel bad at all this time.

Did I mention that Graland is the MOST WONDERFUL FATHER there ever was???!!! Besides my Heavenly Father, that is, and He just takes the cake!! :)

Round 1 Day 19

What a great day!! It was topped off by going to WalMart of all places...of course, in Livingston, there is no other place!! lol Saw a parent of a kiddo I had in my first year of teaching here. Also saw a couple other students. It was great to see Carla and Colleen...they are always such an encouragement to me! ((hugs))

My Zach is off to orientation at SFA tomorrow. Gosh, I wish so much to go with him, but I have chemo on Tues...and he comes home that day. I know he'll have a grand time, but this is his first REAL driving alone. He and I went up there last week to get the directions down..which is mostly just 59, but he's still a new driver, so I'm being a Mommy!! He's been around Livingston a small amount; this will be a big drive for him (and me!). Got him some sheets and towels for the occasion that he can take to college with him in the fall.

M. Smart... it'll be too late when you read this, but call me!! I tried calling you earlier to find out what concurrent English covered SFA-wise. I THOUGHT it covered composition AND lit, but after reading the SFA catalog I'm not so sure and wanted your thoughts on it. If you see this before Monday afternoon, call or write and I'll send a message to Zach for his advisement! :)

Round 1 Day 18

Had PT this morning and it went great!! I can't say they are overly tough with you, it's just that it hurts! And this are easy exercises, like wiping your hand across the wall in the shape of a rainbow or putting your palms together and pushing up. It just hurts getting it up there. I did several more exercises that I haven't done before. Then, on to stretching. That one is hands on where they stretch out the arm and rotate to get more movement each time. I can't say how excited I am to do these even though it doesn't feel great at the moment.

While I was there Bea gave a radio interview. I happened to be there and they had the radio cranked up so we could all hear. She and a group of other moms with military family get together and send care packages to Iraq each month. They shipped 130+ boxes!!! That is awesome! Did I say that Livingston is an awesome place?!

Strange, but true. I'm not brushing or pulling out hair anymore. I do brush, but not to the point of taking all the hair out!...which I could, if I wanted! I'm hoping it all stays put well enough until Tuesday chemo day...where I can get it shaved.

Now, the strange, but true part: Hoping that Diana is reading this!! lol I mentioned to Sherry (PT) that I was going to be glad when I could stretch the arm up high enough that I could shave under it...I knew THEY would be glad too!! I can't risk a nick from the razor for fear of getting lymphedema in the arm. So yesterday I experimented, and sure enough I can just pull out those hairs!! No worries about shaving that underarm anymore!!

Oh yes...Zoe cut my hair yesterday too! Just the flips from the bottom of my hair. She was afraid to do it, but I assured her if she messed up, it would only be there a couple of days anyway!! :D I love it--it is chin length and very cute!

R1 D17 It's happening.

Today is Day 17 of my chemo and my hair is now officially falling out. You know how you kinda grab your hair after you finish brushing to take out any hairs to throw away? I do that every day as my hair is sooo thick!! You can make a second pass at it and nothing is left to throw away. Well, today there was! I can make pass after pass and still grab a handful (not just a few stray ones) of hair. I kept adding it to the collection on the counter. It was "Oh my goodness!" and "This is unbelieveable!". I could go shopping and no one would know the difference there is still SO MUCH there, but I did finally STOP pulling it out. And it's not even 'pulling' it out, it's just ready to fall and you're catching it on it's way down. Kaci walked in at that moment and I said Kaci, come look! Oh, WOW!! Then I grabbed some from both sides of my head and said, "You kids are making me pull out my hair!!" lol She just laughed!

Graland didn't want to come see. :( Pray for him...this is just one more hurdle we're having to go over and it is hard.

One the brighter side, after a nice night's sleep in the recliner, I went to bed this morning around 6:30!! Actually rolled onto my left arm, which I've not done before. It's been too rigid and hard to move on, but it let me this morning!! Got to put my arms around Graland and it was so nice to do! :D

Back to my hair...I told Graland that at least now I didn't have as many grays!! There is ALWAYS a silver lining!! :)

I am GENIUS!!!

Well, I already talked with Graland about using my head as advertising space, but this next idea is even better!!! I can put math facts or spelling words on there. Can you imagine?? The kids would be in such total shock at seeing words on a woman's bald head that it would surely be etched in their minds for the rest of their lives!!! (hmm..in that case, might have to do states & capitals too) Of course, the counselors might have a few extra customers, but at least we'll have the math facts down!! WooHooooo

Although I must admit that yesterday I did tell Graland that I really didn't want a bald head.

Round 1 Day 16

Went to PT with a good attitude and had a great time! :D Hurt like the dickens while I was there, but it was still good. I guess I am surprised at how many NEW things they do each time...so far I have not repeated an exercise. I didn't have Sherry today, but Bea. When I came in Sherry said I was ignoring her!! lol So, when Bea was hurting me, I turned to Sherry and told her that I didn't like her (Bea) either!! lol

I see such a difference already. I can rotate my shoulder forward and backward..still a little tight, but it can be done. Still have a long way to go before I can raise the arm all the way up, but it is coming along. And I can raise it from the side up until about shoulder height!!!! YES!!!!

Another thing that I am VERY excited about...Bea was massaging very hard against one of my scars..where the lymph nodes were removed. This one has been a nuisance and rather painful. I suspected that there was still a suture in there. I told Bea about my concern and she agreed that yes, there was a stitch there. She got a 4x4 (whatever that is) looked like tweezers and scissors...and removed it right there on the mat! It feels soooo good and relieved. I was having to tape my bra strap in half so it didn't irritate the scar. I was waiting until my Tuesday appointment to let them know about it and get it removed. But it's DONE!!!!

Slept in the bed last night for almost the first time. I say almost because I only stayed until about 2:30am. Then I went back to the recliner...I needed a deeper sleep...also just felt like I was sleeping on a rock. Which I have always LOVED my harder mattress (and still do)..just need to get to where I can sleep on it a little better.

Went to my classroom this morning before PT and moved furniture around. I kinda butted up to whatever needing moving and just walked backward with it to wherever it needed to go. Looks a lot cleaner in there, but boy, it needs a lot of work!!

Congrats Zach (not my Zach) on getting an awesome job at Camp Cho Yeh!! A videographer position and Bible Study teacher!!! I am soo excited for him and extremely jealous!

Round 1 Day 15

Ok enough to take the girls to the park and the library. Trying to do the PT at home and it hurts. I am inwardly dreading going to PT tomorrow. :(

R1 D14 No More Mr. Nice Guy

Can we say OWW! OWW! OUCHIE!! OWIE!!?? Friday's physical therapy was fine, but they kicked my bootie today!! But I'm soooo glad of it!!

Started with the electronic thingy and heat, then onto therapy. Rolled the weighted ball on the table back and forth and side to side...sounds easy unless your arm doesn't go back and forth and side to side!! lol I was seated at a fine table including a couple of youngsters from church! So has a nice chat while we worked. Then, the swimming looking moves...arms in front, raising and lowering hands alternately. Followed by hands crossing side to side in front.

OK...that was the easy-baby stuff. Then they flung me onto the mat and started beating me up!! Well, it wasn't that bad, but it makes for good blog material, you know?! What really happened was some very painful (good pain) stretching of the arm up & over and to the side well beyond where it wanted to go. When the torture was finished Sherry asked Bea if she put ice on the arm on my last visit and obviously Bea said no. I couldn't hear as she was out of my line of vision...so I answered: No! Because Bea was NICE to me!! lol Bea said that was just because it was my first visit!! ha ha So I go back Wed and Fri. YES!!! I AM looking forward to it.

Will do those exercises at home.

Still feeling good..a little headache today. Yes, the hair IS thinning. Can't really tell it if you're not looking for it. It looks like 'regular people' hair now rather than my insanely thick hair! :D

Hey, I got ahead today!!! Comment if you think you know what I mean!

Round 1 Day 13 Sunday

Wow! Almost a full two weeks into chemo and feeling blessed beyond belief! My doctor said I'd be bald by the next time she saw me (which will be next Tues the 19th) and so far I am thinning...though I do not see a larger mass each time I shampoo. However, from what I've read, day 14 should start the process of losing it. So, just waiting it out now.

Doing my therapy exercises as much as I can. Afraid I won't have the bar over my head by my next PT appt tomorrow, but I still have the rest of the day to get there!! lol

Hey, great news...I wore a beautiful fitted purple dress today to church...one I've been wanting to get into for a while and now with the tummy tuck...IT FIT!!! YIPPPEEEEE lol

Round 1 Day 12 & Happy Birthday Grandpa

Woke up feeling great! We readied for Grandpa's 80th birthday (Graland's dad). It was a wonderful gathering...about 40 or so people in and out during the day. I had been afraid earlier..several weeks ago..that I wouldn't be able to go, so I was glad that everything was OK.

I met several ladies at the party who were cancer survivors and heard their stories. Also that they'd been reading here! I had no idea, but I am thrilled to share this! :) Hello to Jackie's friend in Australia!! Please post if you have any questions..no matter how "dumb" or personal. I'm very open and honest and would love to share anything you need to know that is above and beyond what is here. The internet is very scary and upsetting, usually only focusing on the negative and worse-case scenarios. I've learned not to look, but I can steer you to places that have good information without all the doom and gloom. I've decided I don't want that, don't need that, and that it is only a threat to my health to be any part of it. So, I'm on the "let's live" team...join me! :)

Can I get an AMEN??!!

Before school let out Dr. Sewell gave everyone a pad of paper and a bobble head pen. They are the cutest!! The pen has a bobbing orange haired smiley face that wobbles around as you write. The pad has the same happy, wild haired face on it with this at the top of each sheet: ATTITUDE is everything!

I'm not sure if that is a biblical thing or not, but it sure looks like it to me:

Fear not for I am with you.
Let not your heart be troubled.
Think of the things of today and let tomorrow worry for itself.

I see no reason for my thinning hair (yes..thinning) not to freak me out or put me into depression. But the funny face is right...attitude IS everything. And now I have to remember I even said this the next time we have a walkthrough and I get stressed..the same as I've been thinking during this time...you cannot change anything, worry isn't going to make anything better (only worse)...so just take each day and have FUN with it!! lol It's not that I'm looking forward to having no hair, but it WILL be exciting to not have to shave everyday. YIPPEEEEEE

Round 1 Day 11 PT

Took the big step today and turned in my prescription for physical therapy. I went to Bea Ellis here in Livingston. (She is also our school board president.) I thought I was just asking about when I could get an appointment, but the receptionist asked if I wanted to stay or come back another day....so I stayed.

This was more interesting than I thought...though not how you'd think! :) This morning I had no intention of doing any PT so I put on a cute top that ties in the back. I have a difficult time getting into this top when I DON'T have problems with my arms, let alone when I do! I could get it half-way on, but finally started calling in the girls (who were getting ready and didn't respond) and then Graland. So it is quite the effort to get the thing on me, but I figure, Hey, I'll be in this all day, right?! After getting it on, I couldn't get both arms behind me to do the tie, so Abbie was close by, so I asked her to tie it. She did. Then I checked it out in the mirror where she tells me she double knotted it..well, what do you expect...every 2nd grader double knots!! :)

So after Bea does an evaluation of me, she tells me to get into the hospital gown and I let her know there is no way I'm getting out of this top alone! lol So YES she spends about 10 minutes getting this double tie out!! She says she usually does these tie things for her patients!!

She starts me on an electrical impulse gadget that loosens the muscles. She says I've got frozen shoulder, which was not unusual. This feels SOOOO awesome..gotta get one for home! ha ha But, yes, feels wonderful. 20 minutes. After this we went out to the mats for the hard labor. It felt great...it hurt, but it felt great! One of the exercises I did (which I have to do at home) was to hold a stick (like a broom handle) with both arms (lying on my back). Raise the bar over my head..or at least as high as I could and hold it there. YEOW!!! Also had to hold my elbow straight as I favor it bended. It is an effort to keep it straight and it does hurt to fully extend it, but YEAH!!! I did it! :) 20 reps. She also showed me an exercise that Val (sister) had also shown me. Sitting with body forward, hang arm down and let it whirl one way and then the other.

She also did a lot of massage, kneading, and pulling, stretching. It was heavenly, but she did say I'd be hurting when I left...which I was...but a good hurt! :) I'll go back on Monday! I'll have that stick up and back behind the head by then.

Round 1 Day 10 A Story

Another great day! Zoe signed up for concurrent Spanish class! YEAH!! Her first college class! Her TAKS scores exempted her from taking THEA and grades over 90 which made her eligible to take classes! I'm so proud of her!! :)

Back in March, when I knew I'd be going through chemo, I looked up a site online: breastcancer.org In there is a ton of information including a discussion board. In the board is a forum for ladies going through chemo. If you are starting chemo in March, you'd be part of the March ladies group. This is like a cyber hug, hand-holding type gathering. I really liked the idea of coming back each day and letting your cyber-sisters know what you were feeling that day. (Kind of like what I am doing now with my blog.) It was interesting to read how they felt about entering into chemo (scared), the experience of getting the chemo (not as bad as they'd expected), and what they felt each day (mostly sick). It also said which day their hair came out and when they got their heads shaved. They continue their sisterhood throughout the 6 months or however long their treatment lasts. Also talked about what meals benefited them, exercise, makeup, travel, etc.

A few days after starting my own treatment, I told Graland that I would not go back to their forum. I didn't want to know or be influenced by their sickness. (Just as I told my doctor I wouldn't be reading the info she gave me on my own chemo as I didn't want to be influenced.) I remember there was one woman in the March group who did not reply often and finally did one day. She said she felt very bad being the only one who felt well. She just couldn't write in among the ladies with such bad nausea that she felt great.

And so it is with me as well. I almost feel bad for feeling so great! But instead, I don't! :) I am SOOO thankful to so many people who have prayed me through my diagnosis and treatment. For EVERY day! :) But more importantly to a God who has heard the petitions and had such sweet mercy. I completely don't understand why, but THANK YOU GOD!!! I stand with hands held high to you (well, getting close to it anyway!) :)

Round 1 Day 9 HAIR!!

No I haven't lost it yet, I got in it today!!! It is absolutely gorgeous and so fun! Of course, you can't tell anything at all with your own hair underneath it, it just sits on top!! lol So I'll have to wait and see. But the color is ALL MINE!!! It was a perfect match and a girly girl do!

Zach needed another college book in Lufkin, so we went by Angelina and then to Hobby Lobby where I got some more fabric for long, thin scarves. A QUARTER for each!! YIPPPEEEE!!!!! Just need to serge the edges!

Another feel-good day. The trip pooped me out, but I'm doing ok! Will probably have to go freak out Donna by showing her my hair NOT on my head. I think she'll love it too! (who wouldn't...it's so cute!!) Will post a picture when and IF I ever get to use it! :)

Round 1 Day 8 (Tues)

I love these GREAT days!!! :) God is soooo good!!! Got to see a couple of my 2nd grade team members...Sherry and Andrea today. Aaaaannnnddd, Andrea brought by some of her very famous zucchini bread!! Yes, that was ME who just said that!! Is zucchini really a vegetable??!! Anyway, we eat it like it was a gourmet dessert...it really is!

I think Camp Invention went well today, not sure, because it was, sssshhhhh, top secret! Hopefully, I'll find out later this week! :)

I am doing more and more with my arm, exercising it above my head and stretching as I am able. Also doing push ups against the wall (NOT the floor!!) and in the doorway.

Zoe and I went to WalMart today and I got a beautiful long scarf..the long, narrow kind. It is black with mod circles all over it! And wouldn't God just set this up? Peggy (Graland's sister) mailed me some fabric hats that she had made! One is black and with the new scarf it is SOOOO stylish!! This is one of those love-hate things...I can't wait to wear the hat, but then again, I can!! lol I look forward to showing off her work! In fact, I have been looking at this pattern for some time and now I have three already made and just beautiful! :) Still have a head-full of hair, though I think I may be shedding more than usual! We'll see!

Round 1 Day 7

WOW a whole week now! The little girls went to Camp Invention this morning and I can't wait for them to come home to tell me all about it! :) I know they had an incredible time!

I am doing pretty good today! Haven't taken an anti-nausea pill for a couple of days now so I am thrilled about that!! (as you can imagine!) I still get fatigued and have to rest often, but that is certainly something I can live with! :)

Went to WalMart and got some fabric to make a navy blue scarf with...I obviously misread the price, actually I think she charged me wrong... I got over a yard for just 29cents!!! I wanted to go back and get red also, but thought...I don't own any clothes that are red!! lol Anyway, looking forward to making it. It is really pretty! :)

Round 1 Day 6 & Kaci's Birthday!

Felt well enough to go to church this morning...and to Sunday School! When we got in the car I was pretty sure that Sunday School would be a no-go, but I munched on animal crackers and a Cran drink during the service. Afterwards I felt good and went on to Sunday School. YEAH!!!

Did well most of the day, but got the ol headache in the evening, so took the meds for it.

It was an especially good day because today is Kaci's 10th birthday!! She is absolutely gorgeous and ever so smart! We gave her a craft birthday... bead gift, plastic canvas gift (they were from MDAnderson...they put out little ziploc bags with small crafts to pass your time). They other things was actually from us! A beginning crochet kit since that is one of her passions.

The Angel's Voice

This has definitely been a week of ups and downs, but one thing remained constant. It was that of an angel singing over me daily. No, there were no wings or harps, just the angel.

This angel's name is Lisa, she is the wife of our pastor and leader of our praise group at church. Daily, she sang Consuming Fire to me. Wow, you say, what a great woman to come and comfort you each day. No, again. No matter what I was feeling or doing, I could hear Lisa sing to me, and it wasn't TO me, it was just her singing. You would have to know her voice, how tender and compassionate it is when she sings. The Lord has SO blessed her and you hear her obedience. She is not a word singer..you know..word, word, word, la, la la. She sings from her heart...it radiates from her and you know you're in the presence of the Lord. I kept wanting to call her this week to let her know what she'd done for me, but never did. But I WILL this morning at church! :)

Here is the beautiful song, Consuming Fire (Hillsong):

Verse 1:
There must be more than this
oh breath of God come breath within
There must be more than this
Spirit of God we wait for you
Fill us anew we pray
Fill us anew we pray

Chorus:
Consuming Fire
Fan into flame
a passion for your name
Spirit of God
fall in this place
Lord have your way
Lord have your way
with us

Verse 2:
Come like a rushing wind
Fill us with power from on high
Now set the captives free
leave us abandoned to your praise
Lord let your glory fall
Lord let your glory fall

Here is a link to one version of the song on youtube:
CLICK HERE for Consuming Fire

Round 1 Day 5

YEAH Day 5!!! Day 4 is over! Woke up ready to eat breakfast and have done well all day. Not ready to go to the mall or anything, but it is nice to be able to eat! :) The nausea and just plain blah feeling seems to have subsided some, so I'm ready for the day. Even got dressed today..woohooo I'm big-time now! lol

Spirits are much better. Sue called today and I was thinking as I was talking that I'm not crying on the phone!! YEAH!!!

Let's have more days like today, ok? :)

Round 1 Day 4

Bad day, my head hurts (took the med), and I can't eat. Got down a few bites of raisin bran then stopped. Having an ice pop now. Hopefully after 8am will be better than my before 8am.

Today was horrible. :( I slept for most of the day in the recliner. I just couldn't eat anything, though I did manage to get down a couple slices of toast and jelly and whatever kinds of drink that were brought to me. Didn't do very well with them though, but I did try at least.

Got a call from an angel later in the day that perked me up and got me in a prayerful mood. Graland also got my radio working so I could get KSBJ again and that always lifts me up! :)

About 9pm I felt a little better. I actually took shower which was HUGE for me to undertake today! Took some anti-nausea and pain meds before bed and was out like a light til morning. Hoping this will be my only Day 4.