R3 D14 Broke down again.

Had a good week. Went to Dallas for a school trip-technology. It was great and had a fun time! :)

Had PT this morning and it was good to see Sherry back! She did an awesome once-over on the arm...it hurt, but felt good at the same time!

Tried loading the software from my Dallas trip on to my computer. It loaded, but won't accept my password! It frustrated me sooo bad!!! I loaded/deleted/reloaded several times, but nothing worked. And I have to teach this in a few weeks to the campus with SueAnn. So I was already feeling in the dumps because of this. (and still working on feeling back to par after the trip)

So I look up my upcoming MD appointments... next is Aug2 for my 4th (and last) big round. Yeah!! After that, professional development days begin (I'll have to miss one) and a doctors appt on Aug 23...the appt before my Saturday chemos. I have to miss that Thursday for Dr. Green, which I don't really mind missing, BUT it IS during a school thing, AND the day that Zach's dorm opens...so of course, I'll miss that. I have missed EVERYTHING having to do with SFA & Zach so far...and that so really upsets me to no end. Then it occurs to me that this first Saturday chemo is just TWO DAYS before school starts and that kinda scared me. These are supposed to be easier than the others, but this is the FIRST WEEK of school!!! No matter what, this is when the Saturdays would have started...even though I had the two day delay with my last round. So I just broke down and bawled. Graland came in with dinner and found me crying. I kept telling him it was nothing (as in I'm not hurting physically). Got my calendar and showed him all the dates and that Zach is leaving and I haven't had any time. It's been 18 years and went too quickly and now it's too late. It hurts very much. About this time Donna calls. I'm still crying and she asks how I am. Not good, I'm thinking about Zach. her: What's wrong?! me: It's just that it's all happening! her: When does he leave? me: Aug 23. her: Well, you'll have a whole lot more of these days before then!! lol So then we talked about the mission trip she'd been on and got me to stop crying for a while. I know Zach is getting a kick outta my bawling all the time!! lol