R2 D20

OHHHH...I'm gonna hurt tomorrow!! My arm just doesn't want to be rotated backward. Poor arm!

I'm getting ready for chemo on Tuesday. Actually, there is nothing to do to get ready! I am feeling good...so it must be time to go back in again! I spoke with someone recently who said a friend of theirs had C and they've had surgery but were afraid to get chemo. Chemo doesn't hurt! I have a little port on my upper side chest. It just sits there, it's under the skin...you don't feel it. It looks like a have a little button battery under the skin. I really thought going to chemo would make me anxious, but it hasn't...not even the first time!!! Before you go in, you rub on some numbing gel on your port and then when they put the needle with the chemo in, you don't feel it at all.

I get three different chemos. It is called FAC..each letter is it's own bag of chemo. But before they even give the chemo, you get an IV of anti-nausea and calming stuff. At MD, the rooms have a hospital bed, a reclining chair, sink, and TV/DVD. So I snuggle down beneath the covers and start chewing ice. They recommend sucking on ice for the F chemo. Not sure why, but they said you do better when you do. So I do! And it hasn't given me any problems at all. I watch whatever is on HGTV since we don't get it at home. The F ends, and the nurse starts the A. A is red and makes you "go" red! Takes a couple of "goes" to get it out of your system, but it pretty quick to leave. None of the F, A, or C hurt my veins going in. I can't feel it go through my body or anything. The whole things only takes about 2 hours..maybe a little longer for the beginning IV. You also get something to eat or drink while you're there to keep you fed! :o) I wondered at the first round if eating would make me sick, so I didn't eat too much beforehand. But eating doesn't make you sick at all. So now, I eat a good meal before I go.

As soon as the chemo is over, you get out of bed and get in the car. It's an hour or so drive back home, so I nap...but I don't feel as though I'm about to toss it all back...really not queasy at all. I do have to take an anti-nausea once I am at home...doctors orders! Twice a day for 3 days.

The first couple of days aren't bad and I can even go to physical therapy...or work in my classroom...or surf the internet. I am NEVER laid up in bed. I do take naps in my recliner though. But just the mental image of "oh, I can't even get out of bed"...I don't get that. My nurse once said that many patience feel what they expect they are suppose to feel. If they think they are suppose to get sick or feel bad...they do. So, why not NOT expect it, so you don't! I do have to add that I have a ton of people praying for me as well, so it is definitely not all on me. God is working all kinds of miracles!!

I guess it wasn't the chemo that my friend was referring to, but just the thought of having C. If I thought I only had 6 years left of my life...not seeing Abbie even graduate school, then I'd be in bed not wanting to get out. If I don't have at least 35 more years, I'd throw in the towel. But why end my life now? God gives me each day, so I'm going to take it.

And while I'm at it, I'm going to continue to do the things I did before...still teach, do web design, read, play with the kids, and do what I can to bring at least a little bit of hope to other people who are going through this too...so they can KNOW they don't have to be afraid.

AND...you get new hair!!! And caps!! and as my husband just said as he reached over to hug me..."And hugs from your husband!" Don't let losing the hair end who you are!!! I'm always wanting to change my hair and now I REALLY got to do it. And I love it! I'll never go back to long hair again! I love my new short hair. No, didn't need to change colors or do anything drastic there, but just a different do to make you look and feel pretty.

While I'm on that note....it also helps that none of my family here have looked at me like I'm a freak with the bald head! :o) In fact I actually went downstairs for something the other day without my hair. Graland is always encouraging me to go without it so I'll be more comfortable.

lol Yesterday we went to a family reunion which was SO good to go to!!! When we were coming back my hair was tight in the back and I kinda slipped it up so the whole thing was kinda sitting very high on my head!!! lol Kaci says from the back seat...Uh, you have really tall hair!! ha ha Yes, I DID readjust it before we went into the WalMart! I'm goofy, but I try not to scare too many people at one time!!

Pray for me this week that I don't bite my therapist. :D And for Tuesday too, that my numbers stay high enough to get it on schedule..and that the truth that the first round is the hardest remains true! :o)