1 year

Today marks my 1 year anniversary of my diagnosis. It was nothing big, but I commemorated it by wearing my pink Believe t-shirt that PRE made for relay for life.

After school I went to therapy. We did some measuring to compare to previous times and it looked like I was doing VERY well!! The elbow was still a little puffy, but the other parts were good. Sherry said to come back in a week just to monitor, no exercise. Did a range of motion on my arm and I couldn't believe it! The exercise where I am lying down with left arm extended and at a right angle...she was able to rotate it all the way to the mat. I have not EVER been able to do this--a first time. I was SO excited about that! She left for a while and I kept at it. When she came back she said, You're kinda liking that now, huh?! I couldn't wait to come home and show Graland. :)

Almost a year...

Wed., Jan 30 marks the one year anniversary of my breast cancer diagnosis. It has been quite the year. One of so many blessings. Yes, it was rough, but God showered me with blessings that I would have either never had or maybe just never noticed. He has revealed the most remarkable promises through His Word. And given me friendships and prayer warriors that I did not know were possible.

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I haven't gotten my test results back from MD about the bad gene possibility, but will hear more about it during my Feb 7 meeting.
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Speaking of meetings!!! We had our faculty meeting today after school. During the positive comments time, several people voiced their thoughts. Thankfulness for aids, for Carla (our nurse), and for other things. I noticed that Heather was wearing a Believe shirt, so I said, Oh I have one and stood for my comment. I said, "I want to thank administration for letting us wear our Believe shirts on Fridays...it means a lot to me!" I sat down and all the second grade teachers are just looking at me with huge grins on their faces and laughing..."We're NOT!" I know I must have turned all shades of red and was like WHAT?!! So after another couple of people went, I stood back up, "SORRY! I THOUGHT WE COULD!" And sat back down! I was SO embarrassed.

The meeting ended and most went home. I went to my computer to email Dr. Sewell an apology and let her know how embarrassed I was at my error!! But it upset me SO MUCH! I got to thinking that it almost sounded like I was "downing" them for NOT letting us wear them. I just started crying and felt like such a heel. I talked with Donna and Heather afterwards and they were "What's wrong?!" They assured me admin wouldn't have taken it like that! That is was just so funny (which is WAS!!!). They were still laughing. "You were just so innocent when you said it! Like oopsie!" Dr. Sewell DID email me back with a lovely note which assured me that that everything was fine...and that she musta gotten a kick out of it too! lol I LOVE my school!!
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Did I mention I got a new car?! A Nissan Sentra. We traded in Graland's Bronco for it. It is very snappy and the girls love it. Sad to say, but the BIG thing for the girls about the car was that it had electric windows!! lol

the hair

hmmm....I seem to keep coming back to the hair, don't I?! I understand not wanting to scare the students, but right now I think it would have been easier that the students knew my history. Instead of "why did you get your hair cut" or "it makes you look old" or whatever, they could be saying "It's coming back in" or "look how long it is". Could be seeing someone come THROUGH cancer and live. I guess those who will be there will wonder when I take the survivors walk at Relay for Life. I have not wanted to keep my illness a secret, but will -in school- out of respect to those who've given me so much.

Two sides of the story...
boy student I had last year: During bus duty. Did you cut your hair? (yes, during Christmas) It freaked me out! (oh, yeah?) Like this side looks like a girl and this side looks like a boy. (Another teacher steps in...uh, I don't think so! I think it looks nice. The teacher later tells me she can't believe the boy was so rude esp. since he knew.... that is when I interrupted her and said, No, he didn't know...no one does.)

teacher of student I have in class this year: K is so excited about your hair! (really?) Yes, she says you have the Freaky Friday haircut! (Yeah, I showed them a picture of Jamie Lee Curtis/Freaky Friday lady before I showed them the haircut. I'm glad you told me...I really needed to hear that!)

The first couple of days were difficult. It was a lot to throw on the students without warning. Although I could have gotten a "haircut" like this on my own and not thought anything of it. But it was time for me to step forward...I don't want to be like the other person who wore her wig and no one ever knew. I want more to be the one who went without to be a witness to the others who need the strength to be "themselves".

HOWEVER...wearing the wigs have been THE most fun!!! I loved shopping online for just the right one and getting to wear it. It didn't itch, it wasn't hot...but it WAS fun to wear. I would encourage ANY woman who want to "keep her hair" to definitely shop for a wig!! And I would also those around her to be supportive of whatever she decides to do....being with or without a wig. I had so many bad vibes from those who thought they were being supportive. "You should go bald...it's your head." When I had already gotten a wig and LOOKED FORWARD to wearing it! I mean, dang, I went through enough already...support me in what *I* want to do with my hair! Sorry, this has been a sore subject with me that only a couple people knew about.

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Spiked hair update! lol Tried it a couple times this week and I must say...I think it needs to be longer to do anything! Someone from church gave me some wax today and I will try it tonight before my shower. She says it really works...so we'll see!

Spikes

So, trying my hand at spiking my hair! I did the top spiked today and laid over the "bangs" to the side. It was fine for a VERY first try. I looked online just now and saw a style with more of the Drake look (coach at school). It is combed over on the top/front of the head and the spikes (so to speak) are on the perimeter. Will try this one tomorrow. Keep in mind that my hair is still WAY too short to get an actual spiked look!!! It doesn't really want to spike at all...but as long as I have this extremely short hair, I'll have fun while it lasts. Once it gets to a proper short length, I'll probably maintain it there and not go longer. It seems to be taking its time. But according to my eyelashes and eyebrows and regular body hair, it IS growing...so that is a comfort.

Speaking of comfort...I didn't eat Sherry's apple cobbler today at lunch!! Yeah me!! I am trying not to eat the school lunch and having soups instead...I need to fit back into some of my clothes!

Elaine REALLY worked on my scar today at PT. Graland thought my arm looked so much better today. I think she must have gotten a flow going from the arm. We've worked on the arm, but after therapy I always ache above the breast...like the lymph is THERE and not moving maybe? So, it was nice to NOT have that ache when I left today. I think something must have happened! yeah!

I fell.

Getting ready for a party last night and stepped up on the chair in the closet to reach the shoes I wanted from the shelf. I have NO idea what happened, but the chair tipped and I tried grabbing hold of the clothes and bar, but I think I just hit the wall with a yelp. Then when the wall didn't catch me I continued on down to the floor where I was met by the corner of a plastic box. Now THAT hurt. I checked and it wasn't bad. Graland said, Yeah, you'll get a bruise from that.

We go to the party. After an hour or so I go to the bathroom and check it out (the bruise, not the bathroom!) And OMG it is SO red/purple and gigantic! It looks SOOOOO bad!! When I got home I had to go to everyone's room to show them! Remember I fell? Well, take a look at THIS baby!!

*I'm* doing better today...but the bruise is just horrid!

Back to school with my own hair!

The kids were cute...I came in with my leopard skin/black pattern hat to start the day. I passed around a picture of Jamie Lee Curtis and told them I'd gotten a haircut similar to hers and that I am in the process of getting that hairdo. They liked it and mentioned that it looked like me. But one person mentioned, yes, but that I don't have white hair..mine is blond. I said, well, actually mine IS white! Gray really, but white sounds so much better! lol

I called up the kids who had buzz haircuts..which is half the class. Told them we had the same haircut. Then took off the hat. They were very surprised. Of course, a kid that already had a grown out buzz, who gets it cut gets the You got a haircut, snicker.... So I didn't worry about this too much. lol The kicker though was this PRICELESS comment!!! "Is that a wig?!" lol What a hoot!! Nope, not a wig! So I took my hat on and off at times throughout the day...still afraid of getting sick and it is too cold to not want to keep warm!

Happy New Year 2008

What a year! But with every year, I get to end it with an Anniversary! Twenty-one years this past December 27th. We tried the new restaurant in town, Buster McNutty. I had the Mauhi-Mauhi (sp?) It was fabulous!! I've never had it before and it is now my favorite!

A funny statement from this week: Kaci says This was the BEST year ever!! I just kinda looked at Graland and we look at each other and smile. lol I'm like, well, not exactly THE best ever, but .... I am glad for her though that despite everything that has happened, she has remained optimistic and loving. Enough that it WAS a great year for her and you know I should have known that about her! For every day without fail she has come MANY times during the day to tell us she loves us. God DID make this a great year for her...she listened to Him and shared the love that could only have come from Him. She did her "job" so to speak...she SHOULD feel great! Her love overflows.

We had a good New Year's! We watched old Lucy shows..the kids have never seen them and these are episodes I've never seen either! So lots of laugh and a good time for everyone to ring in the New Year. Here is to an even better BEST year ever. ((hugs))

I cannot say how much I appreciate the time and effort people given me...through prayers, finances, food, words of encouragement, and time. This HAS been the best year ever..had I not gone through it..I would have missed so much that was right before my eyes.