I got the news.

Monday morning I come in and everyone can't wait to know where everything is. Well, I'm still a little sore, but able to work. DH carries my things in over the weekend so I don't lift anything. Can I say how awesome he is and how much I DEARLY DEARY love him and am in love with him???!!!

I tell everyone it is a three business day wait, so hopefully Tuesday, probably Wednesday.

Did you hear anything? no ... Did you hear anything? no...

Of course, I'm calling home at lunch and conference time...

Tuesday (Jan. 30) during after school bus duty I get a PA announcing there is a phone call for me in the office. This is it! I'm running down the hall when another 2nd grade teacher (Mrs. D) says I'll buzz the office to send it to our media room (our hall) it will be faster! So it gets transfered. It's Dr. B's receptionist who says she has the results and that we could meet after school at 4. So I pass it quickly through the school and cry on Mrs. R's shoulder that I was suddenly scared.

DH and I go to the doctors office and wait a little bit and then taken to an exam room. We wait and talk about our day. And wait.

Dr. B finally comes in and says the results got back to her and she's looked them over and the biopsies didn't come back good. (huh?) It does appear that you have breast cancer. I just look at DH and kinda laugh, and look at Dr. B and just kinda laugh. (disbelief)

**My apologies for stopping my story there!! It was bedtime...didn't realize it would be read so quickly!!**

Now, back to our regularly scheduled program....

So Dr. B continues with my options, she is pretty strong against a lumpectomy since there are so many places and is saying a mastectomy would be my best choice. Also said she'd be sending me to Houston where MDAnderson is. Let's just say MD is one of the top cancer hospitals in the world. It is "just down the road" from Livingston. Probably about an hour, though I haven't made the journey yet.

She also says this is going to happen pretty quickly...maybe the end of the week or next week I'll have the mastectomy. GREAT we say...let's get this rolling and behind us. She DOES say that this is NOT a death sentence. It can be taken care of and then move on. She also says that I have to have hope, which will be the most important thing. I look at her and say, Well, I come from a praying school...I have hope!

She says she is as shocked as we are since I am only 40, haven't been through menopause, and have NO family history of breast cancer, but that she is seeing it pop up blindsiding more and more.

I'm just in disbelief and she says she'll make arrangements for next week at MD. The doctor leaves the room and I break down. OMG OMG OMG

DH is awesome through this all..very encouraging and gets frustrated with timelines. We are very excited to get this going.

So we go home, but pass by Donna's house first. (very good friend, also on my 2nd grade team) She's been waiting for a call from me. Well??? In the same laughing with shock voice: I have breast cancer!

Donna: God is so good..He is right here and going to see you through this. This is not too big for Him.

**ok, I'm jumping ahead some here, but MD calls the school and sets a date. March 14 I'll have a repeat mammomgram, EKG, blood work, etc, then the following day I'll meet with my surgeon. I'll come back later and edit, but that is my timeline at the moment...no surgery date yet. It will some kind of 6 weeks, BUT I AM on the cancellation list in case someone cancels.

TOPS in Kingwood

Dr. W has gotten my appointment for the next day at TOPS Kingwood Breast Care Center. Brand new facility, still working on the place. I came into school on Wed afternoon to get a sub for the next day and explain, Oh, guess what? I DIDN'T have the biopsy today, just the consultation!! grrr BUT, I will get it tomorrow in Kingwood. So they get me set up with the sub to come back in a second day. (I just DO NOT miss school!!!)

Next day, Thurs., Jan 25, go to Kingwood and after a short wait I get sent to the back to a room. Gosh, even the sinks in the bathroom are awesome!! We've just moved into a new home and have done a lot of redecorating, so the bathroom was of particular interest! Man, the things that go through your mind when you don't want to be there in the first place!!

The nurse explains what will happen. She'll do an ultrasound and check out what's going on. Then Dr. B will come in and do the core biopsy. She says she's had it done and was not painful and did great!! So, I'm feeling good...bring it on!

She's taking a lot of ultrasound pictures on different areas, no big deal. I know from my FIRST u/s in Livingston Hospital that I have a lump at "10:00" on the left breast. OK, so it must look really good cause she's taking plenty of pictures of it!

Dr. B comes in and introduces himself. The nurse shows him what she has so far and the doctor takes over the u/s wand. They talk and discuss and I just listen. Now, I'm hearing about 11:00, 1:00, 12:00, plus 10:00. Ummm, I finally say... Um, excuse me...I know about 10:00, I DON'T know about the others!!! Turns out there are 5 lumps! Well, isn't that nice? :oh

Dr. B says hold on a second, let them finish, and he'll explain everything we need to know. He finishes and starts talking about options. First, he says, you're probably thinking, I've got 5 spots, am I about to get 5 biopsies!! YES, they did rather run through my head, yes.

He says what he'd like to do is biopsy the original lump and then the one one the opposite side (still left breast). If they both come back good: GOOD! If one comes back good and the other bad: we'll biopsy the rest. If they both come back bad: talk with your doctor about options.

The core biopsy is a trigger gun needle. He numbs the area completely then does a 1,2,3 count, you'll hear a click, then 2 clicks and it's over. Nothing will hurt, you'll only feel pressure because you're completely numb. First one: YEEEOOOWWWW, tears running over, I'm not moving, only weeping greatly!! "Did that hurt? Is it still hurting?" I just nod my head yes. They can't understand...this does NOT happen. But we're going to try again...they add more numbing before going on. Countdown, click, 2 clicks: tears, it hurts sooo bad!! They are so apologetic and are astounded. There is an ultrasound wand there at entry, so they know exactly where they numbed and everything!

He says Is it possible to do a third pass? I say, Wait! I thought we were only doing two lumps!! He says, We're still on the first one! I cry. He lets me know that he wants to send in all he can to pathology to be as accurate as he can. (in hindsight, he must have known more than I realized for him to pursue it like he did)

My body is just a shaking. I say yes, let's do it. While I am laying there I start praying "My Jesus took more than this for me...he took so much more than this for me" over and over again. Countdown, click, two clicks and I thankfully announce YES THAT WAS A GOOD ONE!!! happy crying this time! Then he moves to the other lump he is going to biopsy. Both triggers are great!! He continues that they should have ALL been just like that, and just kept apologizing.

Then he talks about what will come next. Perhaps the doctor will want to do a masectomy or lumpectomy if it comes back bad. I just look at him..... cause I have NO history of breast cancer! He adds that OF COURSE he is just a doctor and NOT a microscope and only the microscope will give any answers. They pack me well with ice packs in my bra and send me home. I do ask about the next day which was Friday if I should go to school. She asked what grade: second. Absolutely not!! I might get bumped and it would be painful and might bleed internally. So I call in to school and they are so accommodating!! Awesome family there at school! Other teachers get me set up there, don't worry about a thing, no big deal. I stay home in bed the rest of the day and most of the next with ice packs. By Monday, I'm up and kinda running! The lab result will take about 3 days to come back and will be sent to the original Dr. B, my family doctor in Livingston. So, now we wait.

yearly exam & Kingwood

Well, it's December and since my BC prescription is on its last month, I need to get my yearly womans exam. The doctor does a quick breast check..VERY quick and kinda goes back and asks if I've ever felt this bump before. No, can't say that I have. She asks if I've ever had a mammogram before. No, I'm still a child, only 40. So, I do already know this was the year for my first mammogram. Instead of the regular exam I get the diagnostic mammogram and they do about 8 spot checks of this one lump. This is Jan. 11, 2007

Oh, yea, let me back-track. My blog is called the little b gets the Big C. I'm a "smaller" size chest...a nice nearly B. Hence, the "little b"!

Moving forward...so I am sent from the mammogram straight over to ultrasound where she spends some time taking pictures of the lump. And gets them sent over to radiology and from there back to my doctor.

Dr. B calls me and says it looks abnormal and that I need to get a biopsy done for it. OK...although I've heard from another teacher it was the worst thing she's ever been through. ummm....now I know why! :oh

So, Wed., Jan. 24, I am sent to a Dr. W, a surgeon who will do the biospy. I am all syched up for the biospy, ready, prepared. Have a sub in my room. DH and I go see Dr. W and wait for over 2 hours. Read everything there is in the waiting room. The receptionist is so apologetic and embarrassed that we have had to wait for so long, but Dr. W is doing a procedure elsewhere. He finally get there and the nurse walks me back and just has me go in the room. I ask, because I'm getting kinda a strange feeling and ask, "Now, I AM getting a biopsy done today, right?" Oh, no ma'am, I'm so sorry, I didn't realize you thought that! Dr. W always meets with the patient first and discusses things ahead of time." uh, huh. So....finally meet with Dr. W and he does a breast check and asks a ton of questions...

do you have a history of breast cancer in the family: no
are you menopausal: no
drink, smoke, do drugs: no
no to everything he asks.

So, we move to options: He says if HE does the biopsy, he's going to make an incision, take out a bunch, blah, blah, OR, he can send me to Kingwood where there is a Breast Care Center where they have much more updated equipment and get a core biopsy (big needle) and no incision. I opt for that! They call Kingwood and we pick up all the scans I've had so far and mammogram films to be ready and off to Kingwood I go!