R3 D19 Ouch!

I'm doing good, getting my classroom in order, and preparing for the first week of school. Went to PT this morning. I have one spot in the tip of the shoulder that is a sore spot. I can be driving and this spot will ache, or be at the computer and it will ache. Just part of the rotation aspect of the arm. It is always the part of PT that I don't enjoy at all. But, the part that I'm needing the most work on. Sherry did measurements today and I've made so much progress!!! Just one part hasn't improved and that is the rotating the arm down from a certain position...it just plain hurts to do it! She was pulling and rotating today and each new exercise hurts, then a new position/exercise and that one hurts...but you're still reeling from the first hurt. :( I'm usually pretty good...as good as I can get..little yelps here and there, holding the breath, stomping the feet onto the mat, etc. Today I couldn't help it...just one too many hurts built on top of the other and I just started crying..which I HATE!!! Cause then on top of THAT...I feel bad for Sherry!! She is awesome and is doing exactly what I need..but I never, ever want her to feel bad, especially since she is such an organized person! lol

Thank You God!

Just wanted to to say thank you to God!!! He knows our needs before we voice them, before we even know the need it there. And thank you to His servants who work in obedience to Him.

Just need to stay away from my calendar!

Went to my appt page at MDAnderson this morning. No surprises, I know all my appts. But I'm making sure I have everything written on my calendar alongside school stuff. I know I have Saturday chemos coming up, so began writing those in. When it hits me. I already know that I'm missing a Professional Development Day...I have an appt...also the day Zach moves into the dorm. So, I'm thinking, well, at least I'll get to see him on the weekends, right? NOPE!! I have Saturday chemo's!! :(

ps. Thanks Joanie...got your note. :o)

R3 D14 Broke down again.

Had a good week. Went to Dallas for a school trip-technology. It was great and had a fun time! :)

Had PT this morning and it was good to see Sherry back! She did an awesome once-over on the arm...it hurt, but felt good at the same time!

Tried loading the software from my Dallas trip on to my computer. It loaded, but won't accept my password! It frustrated me sooo bad!!! I loaded/deleted/reloaded several times, but nothing worked. And I have to teach this in a few weeks to the campus with SueAnn. So I was already feeling in the dumps because of this. (and still working on feeling back to par after the trip)

So I look up my upcoming MD appointments... next is Aug2 for my 4th (and last) big round. Yeah!! After that, professional development days begin (I'll have to miss one) and a doctors appt on Aug 23...the appt before my Saturday chemos. I have to miss that Thursday for Dr. Green, which I don't really mind missing, BUT it IS during a school thing, AND the day that Zach's dorm opens...so of course, I'll miss that. I have missed EVERYTHING having to do with SFA & Zach so far...and that so really upsets me to no end. Then it occurs to me that this first Saturday chemo is just TWO DAYS before school starts and that kinda scared me. These are supposed to be easier than the others, but this is the FIRST WEEK of school!!! No matter what, this is when the Saturdays would have started...even though I had the two day delay with my last round. So I just broke down and bawled. Graland came in with dinner and found me crying. I kept telling him it was nothing (as in I'm not hurting physically). Got my calendar and showed him all the dates and that Zach is leaving and I haven't had any time. It's been 18 years and went too quickly and now it's too late. It hurts very much. About this time Donna calls. I'm still crying and she asks how I am. Not good, I'm thinking about Zach. her: What's wrong?! me: It's just that it's all happening! her: When does he leave? me: Aug 23. her: Well, you'll have a whole lot more of these days before then!! lol So then we talked about the mission trip she'd been on and got me to stop crying for a while. I know Zach is getting a kick outta my bawling all the time!! lol

a PT funny

Friday at physical therapy I did all the rounds, then came to the mat for the torture test. Glad to see up and beyond is doing so well!! The side to side though...ugh! It is doing sooo much better!!! But, oh, how painful it is to do the mat stretches. So, Bea is doing the reaching the arm across my chest while holding the shoulder and elbow kinda in a lock to keep it straight. She is pressing it against me (toward me) and there is MY hand on the other side of the same arm she's trying to stretch pushing (against her). I started laughing and apologized... I'm sorry! I'm working against you!! But I couldn't help it!!! She laughed too and said, Sure you are...it hurts! Try as I might, I kept trying to NOT push against what she was trying to do, but I couldn't help it...my hand kept just getting up there and doing what it needed to do to protect me! lol

R3 D9 & 10 um, is this energy?

For a shot that knocked me on my hiney, it appears also to have given me a lot of energy. Waking early and ready to get school stuff done. Felt well enough that in the evening I told Graland that it would be fun to join the girls for VBS sports camp. Sherry has been taking the girls each evening (her church) and they have been having sooo much fun! Tonight is water play. Graland says, Well, I haven't seen you have so much energy, go ahead and go!

I see why they loved it so much all week! The kids are having an awesome time, and the message is very clearly stated. It is comforting to say that the message was an exact message I read last week or two... that when Jesus sent the disciples across the sea (when it started raging and they thought they saw a ghost, but it was Jesus...then Peter said, If it is you, call me to you..then Peter also walked on water until he saw the waves and frightened calling out to Jesus to save him). The point was "WHO was it who sent them there in the first place?" It wasn't that they had done something wrong and found themselves now in this place. Jesus sent them there. I find myself with C, not because I did something wrong... Jesus put me here. He had a whole lot in store for the disciples...and I am sure He has a lot in store for me as well.

One of the things at VBS was a slip & slide filled with bubbles. Donna, Sherry, and Janie were also there and we wanted to go down the slip & slide too. The teens had a rope that went across the slide for the kids to hold on to...usually they are on their bellies. Well, I couldn't do the belly thing, so I held on with a different grip holding my arms tight and at my side and sitting on my legs (man, that was a bad description!). Anyway, they started off, and the first thing I felt was my arms coming out of what I thought was this great hold...so I let go immediately and they all went down together. It looked like so much fun. Sadly, I felt like this was the first thing I wasn't able to do. :( Put me in a damper for a bit, but not for long...it was time to sing! And there ain't NO damper when you CAN lift your arms in praise!! And they were singing some great praise songs! Thank you Sherry so much for thinking of my babies and taking them all week...and the big baby too! :o)

And Saturday...did a lot of work in my classroom! Got most of the door completely, but there wasn't any green butcher paper, so could only do so much. Graland came too, and completed some "guy" work that needed to be done. You just do NOT realize how much you use your arms until you hang paper over a door. You need BOTH arms, one to hold the paper and the other to staple with. I am SOOO glad I've been doing therapy cause it was a job to get that arm up there...still tight, but you'd never know looking at my door! It looks AWESOME!!!

R3 D8 Checkup Day

God is so good. You don't even have to set your alarm clock, He just wakes you up on time!!! Got up at 5am to get dressed and ready to leave by 6am...testing starts at 8 and we are going to be not only in rush hour traffic in Houston, but it has rained for days and the forecast is at 100% so we want to have plenty of time to get there.

I check the weather online and it is PERFECT!!! No rain for at least a couple of hours! We leave, get maybe 3 drops the whole time. Traffic is good and we get there in no time.

First appt: 8am chest xray and blood at 9am. Well, they call me in for blood first, no biggie..take all the blood you want. Chest xray...I did SOOO good!!! I was able to reach up and grab the overhead bar this time. It wasn't a complete stretch up, but it was some impressive!! :) And, of course, I was looking very chic in the hospital garb...so I was feeling good and struttin' anyway!

Ding! Next floor! 1000, the endocrinologist. Waiting in the waiting room and the sky has opened up completely! Pitch black and scary clouds all over. I had prayed about the weather the evening before...God is so good!! Now, on to the doctor... OH MY GOSH!!! This was the most gorgeous doctor!!! I was like, what are doing here?! No, I didn't say anything, but they are just very far and few at the hospital..no offense there! I was seeing her to get an opinion on my thyroid. On a scale of normal range, I was at the far left...pretty normal! Yes, the thyroid IS enlarged, there are two nodules there. She said if we went to the mall and just ran tests, that at least 80% would have nodules that were nothing. We'll get a small needle biopsy done in Dec (2oth) to get it tested, holding off now with the chemo going on. She said all my testing for it came back normal. Yeah!!!

Ding! Another floor! 1140...get there pretty late as the endo appt pushed us back...which is OK...not a fine feathered friend of CAT scans. Last time it infiltrated (all the iodine filled my arm-it was SOOOO gross!!). So, go to the back to get the IV thing hooked up (for the iodine). The nurse keeps saying I have small veins, keeps whacking my arm and poking with no success. Now, it wouldn't be so bad, remember...take all the blood you want? BUT, this is a BIG needle, so completely different story! And, normally, the needle is in on the first try! No big deal...get it in there and get done with it. So, she moves down from the elbow area to the wrist area. She whacked there too and got a big yelp outta me! She put the needle there and it hurt SO SO badly. I told her in very clearly that it hurt. How that the last time I was uncomfortable with a stick that it infiltrated, so I'm speaking up this time. I don't know the difference between, yeow, this hurts and yeow, that is a bad stick...try again. She assured me with a flush that it was a good stick..I just have small veins. I go back to the waiting area and put my face into a warm blanket and pray.

My turn to go for the CAT. The nurse goes with me, which is not common. The tech asks if this is her stick...yes, it is. I'm sure that nurse is waiting for me to say how much my wrist hurts, but I am considerate to a certain extent. The tech has me lie on the CAT bed. Can I just say here, that CAT's are no big deal. Just a donut looking machine...not the "scarier" looking MRI machine, but just a little bagel. It's loud, but it's a very quick test...maybe 10 minutes TOPS. Not even that, really. So, I tell the tech that the last time I did this, it infiltrated. It had hurt when I was stuck, I said nothing. I hurts now, a lot, I'm saying something! So, she monitors me very closely. Does the first round of tests (2 passes through the donut and holding your breath). She comes back in and readies the iodine. She starts it and it HURTS VERY MUCH! I let her know VERY CLEARLY and loudly (not yelling) that it hurts. She says it is going through the needle as it is supposed to and she can tell it is NOT infiltrating...is it feeling any better. YES!!! It is feeling much better, thank you. She runs out for the test. Two more passes and I'm through. She comes back in and apologizes, but says she could tell it was a good stick and that she slowed it at the beginning then let it in quickly. She says that the faster the iodine goes in, the clearer the scan....that is why she went ahead with the test. I tell her it was all good, thanked the nurse for staying with me and keeping an eye on me. I really did appreciate it. I was more appreciative when she took the thing outta my wrist!! :o)

That done, we go to the cafeteria (still in the Main building) and have some lunch. Pizza! I am VERY hungry...you can't eat or drink anything for 3 hours prior to the test and it's lunch time!

We take the trolley car and cross the skybridge over to the Mays Clinic to ready for my appointment with Dr. Ross...my first doctor when we started all this back in March.

Dr. Ross says my CAT scan came back good, no changes, he was happy with it. Did a breast exam and didn't find anything out of the norm. The surgeries are looking like they should..will see me again in March for another mammogram.

Graland said that it was about time I made an A on my tests after failing so many of them! :)

Time to go home...it has been raining the entire time we're there and guess what?! Beautiful skies and perfect driving conditions, no traffic. We are feeling good and praising God the whole time for a perfect day.

R3 D7 big day tomorrow

Had a good day today...started with therapy. I had done some on my own at home last night on the bed. Lying on my back and crossing my arm across my chest and pulling it close to stretch that muscle/tendon/whatever I'm stretching!! OH, it hurt. I'm also trying to lie on it when I sleep to get in any stretch or pull that I can. When I was through I had just gotten myself to crying. I came to the lower room where we had gathered for prayers and remarked, Gosh, if I can make myself cry, what'll Bea do to me tomorrow!!! So, I sat in my chaired, felt sorry for myself, and cried. (just a little though) These are manly-I'm getting better by the day-tears!! :)

Also spent a little time at school yesterday getting reading tests copied for the year and getting the room looking pretty...it has a long way to go though! I need several, couple hour days to get it ready. And for the first week of school...that is pretty major. But it is slowly coming together, as all things you put time in do.

I want to keep this on my mind...a prayer that a friend has that I want as well...that my family and I would fall desperately in love with Jesus Christ. Not just church or prayers, but a desperate need and longly for Him. I would be without hope and in dire straights indeed if it were not for Him and His promises and His Hand daily. But, I want to know You much more.

Schedule for tomorrow: 800 chest xray, 900 blood, 1000 endocrinologist (thyroid), 1140 CAT scan-chest, 245 Dr Ross. This is all my 3 month anniversary checkup appts. I'll go back again Aug 2/3 for my last big round of chemo (4th round), before starting my Saturday weekly's that will last until Thanksgiving. yeah!!! Almost halfway there!!! So close! :)

R3 D5 so much better!

It is hard to believe how much one day makes!!! But I am feeling so much better today. It was about midway through the day when I yawned and turned to Graland....you know, I haven't slept ANY today!!! It was such a shock...I slept at least 20 of the 24 hours yesterday!!! I couldn't keep my eyes open for anything! I did take a couple of short naps today and did decide not to go to therapy. I'll go again on Wednesday, that is my usual day and hopefully I'll be 'up and at em' again by then.

Sherry (school) came and got the girls for evening VBS. It was beautiful here but apparently a complete downpour at the park where VBS was!! They come home just dripping wet and cold! I know they enjoyed the time they spent just being there and being with Sherry regardless. The best part was that there was a double rainbow on the way home...the largest rainbow Kaci has ever seen. So, God is good...there is no mistaking Who He wants our eyes on.

Looking forward to a good sleep tonight...already took some meds for a headache, so I should sleep well.

R3 D4 Feel like Rip Van Winkle

Can a person really sleep THAT much???!!! This shot has really kicked my tail. I didn't have the aches so much today and PRAISE GOD didn't have a fever ALL DAY!!! YEAAAAHHHHH But , I did have lots and lots of sleep. I am not even one to nap, but my eyes just kept closing, no matter what I was doing.

I didn't make it to church this morning, just felt light headed and of course, I would have slept right through Mike's sermon! So I stayed home and Zoe took care of me.

Hoping to be up and at em tomorrow. I have a full day on Thursday. Blood work, chest xray, meet with my oncologist, Dr. Ross, and with the endocrinologist (sp?) to find out more about the thyroid.

With all this talk of sleep, it's making me just about ready for beddy bye. I'm hearing more and more of people saying I'm on a prayer chain...thanks so much!!!! I need and treasure each one!

R3 D3 bad, bad, bad day

Oh my gosh!! What a day! :o( I woke up very achy. Dr. Green said that about 30% of the people who take Neulasta get the aches. I told her I'd be in the 70%! Guess I wasn't!

Every joint, my shoulders, elbows, knees, hips, my head. All one big ache! This would have been fine...I was ok with the aches. But what concerned me was fever. It never made it to 100, but for most of the day it was 99.3, 99.5, or 99.7, with some lower ranges in there now and again.

We prayed and called Donna for prayers, which she sent to the team. Trina called and prayed with me too. Thankfully, I never had to go to the hospital.

I slept most of the day...I don't even take naps! But I remember it being noon and when I woke it was 4!!! I slept, and slept, and slept! And then when it was time for bed, you better believe I slept like a rock!!

R3 D2 neulasta

We went back to MD today to get my neulasta shot. My appt was at 1230 and we were back on the road by 1, I couldn't believe it!! That is record time!! The shot itself is a very tiny needle. The nurse was EXCELLENT!!! She had a perfect stick, said it would sting when it began injecting, but it didn't! :o) She did it VERY slowly as patients have said it stung when it was injected more quickly. So she did a wonderful job. She gave it to me in the back of my right arm into the subcuteaus (sp?) tissue. It will go into the bone marrow, where the white blood cells are formed. She said when I come in next time my numbers will be higher and I'll get the chemo on the first try... so I'm happy to not have any more delays.

I woke so tired this morning and all the way there, but have perked up a bit.

Hoping all goes as planned...I have a tech meeting in Dallas near the end of the month. I'll be going with another teacher..hoping she will do the driving!! I have NO sense of direction. If I need to wear a mask by then, I will.

Didn't make PT..but I did stretch a lot in the car on the way to MD. Not an hour and half worth, but some. :o)

R3 D1 MD & chemo pics

Left EARLY this morning!!! But it always amazes me how God can wake me up at the moment I need waking! I slept like a rock all night until 5:15 this morning. We wanted to leave about 5:30 and we were close to it! We had already been packed and ready to get in the van to leave.

I took some pictures while I was there. One of the Mays Clinic-which is across the street from MDAnderson and part of them. We are usually on the 5th floor there (breast) or the 8th floor (chemo). The cafeteria is on the second floor..you can see the outdoor seating near the back of the picture by the skytram.



Then another picture of me actually getting the chemo! :) I have a port on my upper chest...I get hooked up with the sleepy meds & antinausea meds before getting the FAC. Thankfully my treatment only got delayed two days. I'll go back in in the morning for the Neulasta shot around lunchtime. So in this picture I am snuggly warm in bed, have my cup of ice to chew on, a book, a remote to the TV, and yeah, the IV of the stuff I'm getting!! It is a private room...they all are. I had an extremely efficient girl this time and we were in and out in no time, so to speak! ps...I had already eaten my brownie, so you can see why I am smiling!




In this picture, we zoomed in a little just to give you an idea of the chemo port. I'm pretty sure you click on the pictures and it will make them larger if you need to see more clearly! This just shows that the IV line from the chemo stand is coming through and into the bandaged area around the port.

What the picture doesn't show is me going to the bathroom...those fluids go RIGHT through you!!! One of the first sets of meds makes you kinda sleepy..which felt delightful!



Doesn't look like I'll go into PT tomorrow...we usually leave an hour and a half before treatment and don't want to be frazzled getting there. So, Sherry...have a marvelous time girl!!! We'll miss you...If you hear a scream early in the morning once your there, it's probably me at therapy. Don't let it upset you or make you want to rush home quickly on my account!! ha ha

R2 D22 praying tomorrow's the day!

Come on white blood count!!! You can do it!!! Actually, a little tired this evening. Will HAVE to go to bed early...we leave very early in the morning. Blood at 730 and chemo at 930. So HURRAY, if it is a go, we'll at least be home before dark!!! And then back on Friday.

Good news I forgot to share yesterday. I can lift my arm high enough where the skin is flat enough below to shave!!! lol Strangely, that arm feels it still needs to be growing hair....hmmmm. My legs, too! Don't they know that chemo is supposed to take care of that!!! That was supposed to be one of the pluses!

R2 D22 waiting

Today was supposed to be R3 D1, but my white blood count was down again. Last round, it was down...borderline and they went ahead and gave it to me. But this time is was below borderline. They rather expected it as it was low last time. So, I'll go back in on Thursday, and it should be back up AND they'll give me a shot of Neulasta, which ups my white blood count so I don't get an infection. The nurse said hopefully our insurance will cover it...she was having the pharmacy look into it...as the shot is VERY expensive... $4000. !!! And I could have it done here or at MD. Apparently insurance will cover part if you take the shot home to do, or the whole thing if you get it done there. Well the pharmacy got back with the nurse and as long as we do it at MD, insurance will cover the whole thing. Praise God!!!! Once I do it this time, I'll have to do it the next round as well. Which, now my rounds will be on Thursdays (this one and the next round)...once you change, you stick with that day. The shot is given the following day (w/in 24 hours, but NOT directly after the chemo).

Small world....I saw Mrs. Peloit (pel-watt) at MD. She had her treatment in Beaumont, but comes to MD for checkups. She taught 2nd grade in Nederland when the older two went to Hillcrest. Neither of them had her, but I knew her all the same. I told her we weren't supposed to be here! She smiled and agreed. She has been retired for some time now.

So, we're back before 9pm!!! Yeah!!! Pray my white blood count is high enough for Thursday/Friday....if it isn't, I'll go again next Tuesday. I just want it to be through before school starts. As it is, I'll still be through before it starts, but I'd like it through before Professional Development Days too. I already have moved up one appointment that would have landed on the 2nd day of school. (changed it today!) I have another one on a Prof. Day that hasn't been changed yet...that would have been an appt for before my Saturday treatments. I feel sure it will be OK if I miss one of those days, and I'm pretty sure I will HAVE to miss this particular one to get started on my Saturdays. Hopefully that one will be an "in your room" day...Aug 21 (Tues)

But...best of all...had a lovely day with Graland! We call it our date day when we get to eat out (MD cafeteria!) God knew what He was doing when He gave me Graland. ((hugs))