A Zach is graduating plug....

Zach, our oldest, is graduating!!!! Friday, May 25th in Lufkin at the UPC Auditorium, 4109 S. First Street, beginning at 7pm. We ordered only a few invitations, so I hate that THIS is an invitation to many, but here goes!!!

He will be attending SFA in Nacogdoches in the Fall. He has taken 18 hours of college classes so far through Angelina College at Livingston HS (concurrent classes) and during the summer. He plans on being a Computer Science major..we are hoping for the Honors program, but that is still to see. He'd like to go into Cyber Law after his BS is completed.

Here is a recent picture of Zach!

got a surgery date

We got a surgery date... Monday, April 9, 2007.

I'll go in on April 4th for a CT scan and a bone scan, then again on the 5th to meet with Dr. Ross about the results. I told the second grade team and the principal and assistant principal (we were in the middle of a meeting when I got the call) and we have Mrs. Evans coming to take over for me on the 4th until I can come back.

Talked with Debbie, the PA from Dr. Ross's office. She called during our conference time...wasn't that convenient?! Bonnie called Donna's room and asked if I was in there, that I had a phone call. They sent the call to the media room and I left with a "Pray for me" as I went to take the hall. I heard a "we already are!" as I exited.

Took the call and Debbie said we had a surgery date of April 9, the day after Easter. I noticed on the way home after reflecting on the call that she never mentioned the word mastectomy. That was very nice! Anyway, as I said above, we'll go in for a CT scan and bone scan on the 4th. Since the cancer has metastasized to the lymph nodes, they want to make sure it hasn't gone anyplace else. So they do the chest and bone, which would be the next place it would go.

Then on the 5th we'll go back and get the results and talk with Ross. At some point we will go in and talk with the plastic surgeon, but at this time, I don't have a time/date for that.

Now, looks like it will be 12 weeks of chemo (Tamoxifen), which will come 3 or 4 weeks after surgery, so I can heal from the surgery. Then it would be followed with radiation...if that is needed. If I DO need radiation, then that will bump my reconstructive surgery 6 months. They just can't do a reconstructive then shoot it with radiation and tear it up.

She said something about 4-6 intense courses of chemo, but I'm not sure what that means exactly.

She also said she is going to call in a radiation oncologist to speak with us if we have to do radiation.

Also, keep a good diet, no vegan diets or anything that will cause me to lose weight before surgery....so I am back on "real" foods to get me back up a little before I go in for surgery.

Got a haircut.

I read to get your hair cut before any chemo, so that it isn't a big shock if your hair falls out, so today I got my hair cut!! SHORT! It looks great and I love it...and the girls love it, so I feel real good!

I went to WalMart to get it done and had a girl that I've had before. She was surprised that I was going to go short, but I told her about chemo and she caught right on. I showed her a couple of styles, one was VERY short that I just didn't have the guts to do, but it was gorgeous. The other was a short bob with a flip at the bottom of it...she did that one and was excited as she did it.

Oh wait!! while I'm getting my hair washed, I see this little girl (11 maybe??) getting her picture taken with her hair stylist. I'm thinking that's kinda odd, but then I see her holding up her hair!! So, I ask my girl if she just donated her hair and she said yes! So I told her, Run go get the girl, so she can see WHO she gave her hair to!!! So they bring the girl over to me and I told her that I saw her getting her picture and that I realized she just donated. Then I said that I was about to lose my hair and that HER hair was going to someone just like me. I wanted her to actually HAVE that connection....what are the odds you'd get that? Told her how proud I was of her to do that, and how much it meant to people who will be on the receiving end. So it was really cool!

And in the end...I love my hair. Kaci said, OH! I hate for you to have to lose your new hair cut!!

Meeting the surgeon

It's Thursday, so PRE is wearing their We Believe shirts for me!! I took off the day and have a sub, but went in early to make sure everything was ready to go. I also wore my shirt.

We took off pretty early so we'd beat the traffic in Houston. My appt was at 12:30 and we got there around 10:15 or so, pretty early. We went up to the 2nd floor where you check in and went out to the outdoor patio and just stayed there for about an hour..it was cool out and felt wonderful. When it got close to lunch we went inside to the MDAnderson cafeteria where we had a scrumptous chicken fried steak with gravy and a water. I have to say this is better than Luby's! We ate in no hurry, then went up to the 5th floor which is the Nellie B. Connoly floor (breast cancer).

It is now about 12:00, so we are nice and early, get checked in and wait. While we're waiting I look around the waiting room, there are puzzles, books, magazines, some Pink Ribbon Volunteers (they've had BC before and can talk to you about it), a coffee bar if you'd like...among other things.

So I went over to this giant wall-hanging of a pink ribbon quilt that a group had made for one of their ladies. It is sooo pretty! Beneath it is a basket full of heart pillows. There is a little plaque inside that says they were made from the Girl Scouts in LIVINGSTON!!! My town!! Beside that is a book of information, but on the front of the book is a picture of some girl scouts and one of them is Ciara...from MY CLASS this year!!! I was so excited and ran the book over to Graland to see her!! Then, of course, I had to share that with one of the Pink Ribbon volunteers!! We haven't told the kids at school I am sick yet, so I wasn't able to tell Ciara. Can't wait until I can tell her! She'll be so proud!

Well, finally am able to go back in the exam room...took my weight (120) and height (5'6), and blood pressure (always low!). Then off to the room where we wait and wait and wait in a little open to the front gown. Finally get off the table and rest over with Graland and take a couple of snoozes.

fast forwarding... cancer in lymph node is 2 cm...that is new to me. Kingwood saw 5 tumors and MD found 3

I'm too small chested for a breast sparing surgery, so will get skin sparing
Waiting for plastic surgeon to call to set up appointment there to move forward.

This is just bits and pieces, it will be filled in very soon!

1st MD visit

What a LONG LONG day this was!! But we survived!!

It is spring break and 4am. We're up and ready to get going! I am dressed and ready to hit the road and Graland is taking a shower! Hurry, while I'm still OK on going!

We get there fairly easy, made one bad turn, but got right back on the correct road. Since it is our first visit we get FREE valet parking. Feeling very special today. We go up to the 2nd floor and sign in and are ready to wait. They call me back before my time is even here and I'm like, WAIT I haven't made a run to the bathroom yet!

The girl gets our insurance information and other school/home/whatever information. We go back to the waiting area until I am called back for the mammogram.

The mammogram takes a while..she wanted to get every angle she possibly could and some of the positions were quite awkward, but needed, so it wasn't any problem to do. I had a nice technician who was humorous and upbeat. She thought she had all that was needed but knew the radiologist would make the final decision so I had to wait a little bit while we waited for him to look through the slides. Sure enough, he needed a few more magnified images, so we took those, waited again, and we through with that part of the day. She walked me through the back hallway down to the ultrasound room.

Here I am in the ultrasound room, gown on and on the table. They covered me with a heated blanket which felt SOOOO good!!! It is a little chilly in the room with nothing but a gown, so the blanket was heavenly. The first tech came in and did a very long ultrasound exam. She scanned both breasts with the emphasis on the left. I watched the whole time on the 2nd screen and while I could see the tumors, I couldn't tell anything about them. She did a lot of measuring and measuring the distances between them. Also some long pictures that showed the line of tumors all in one shot. She also checked the underarm for the lymph nodes and up the neck to the scalp.

When the Doctor came in, she too did scans of her own, highlighting where the tech had done hers. The tech noticed a lump in the lymph node and had the doctor check it out. So, we are now calling in the lab, signing papers to do a fine needle aspiration biopsy. We get that done...no problem, a little sting, but nothing worth mentioning. The lab gets back with us in about 10 minutes. By now, the doctor is gone and they have called Graland in to be with me. The doctor comes back in and we find out the cancer is also in the lymph nodes, dad-gummet!! I'm now upped from a Stage 1 to a Stage 2. Stage 2 includes the lymph nodes.

After this, we head off to lunch at the cafeteria there...which I must say is absolutely delicious!!! I am off my normal diet and have a scrumptous (sp) chicken fried steak with gravy, mashed potatoes and gravy, and a water. No dessert! I AM good on that one! No sugar!! Graland has a roast beef sandwich and is wishing he was eating what I had!

Now, we go ahead and go to the 2nd floor where the lab is. There I have an EKG, a chest x-ray, and some blood work done. WE ARE FINISHED!!!! We did it!!

We get back on the road, worn out, and ready to be home. We get back on the right roads and feeling ok. Before we get home, we decide to go out for dinner at the Shrimp Hut where I have the big 15 shrimp meal. Oh, it was so good!

In the meanwhile, Karen had come over just as we left the house and delivered pizza to the kids!! That was SOOO sweet!! So we came back and they were so excited. Zach wanted us to watch a movie he had (I-Robot), so we watched that, and YES, I DID have TWO wonder slices of Karen's pizza!! and loved every bite of it!

Off to bed, and slept like a log! What a day it has been.

WAHM's

So, I walk in the door after school today and there is this gigantic box on the inside step. I say to dh, We got a big box in! I figured he had ordered something. lol.gif He says No, it's for you! So I look down and there is Christine's label on there!!! OMG!!! I was so so so so NOT expecting this!! bcry.gif (Can't find the happy cry code!!)

I told dh, Well, here I was saying how incredible my school family was, when you guys were just waiting for my package to get to me! hug.gif I wanted to all to know what the final package looked like, so I took pictures! DH says, Do they all live near each other? I was like...NO!!! They are from all over the US!! Then when DD came in from high school, she saw me and said I love your shirt! Where'd you get it? This was while I was sitting here typing this post! I swung my hands to the screen...MY LADIES!!! So I ran her downstairs and said, Look what else!! She was so floored! I really think this outpouring of love is as helpful to her as it is to me! She has SO needed to see God working and it is just touching her heart!!

Of course, being a teen...she immediately says, I SOOO like that one!! The one that says Cancer Sucks!! lol.gif She says, I would SO wear that!! I hadn't even THOUGHT about younger kids cancer books. I told DH about Julies DH and said When she gives this sweatshirt, she REALLY means it!!

I am also a big blanket fan!!! And I DO know you guys are wrapping me in your arms..thank you sooo much. (Amber)

I love the Chicken Soup books and hadn't seen the Cancer one!! It is perfect...I really need to hear these healing stories! And I will also have something to take on my visits. I buy journals all the time for my girls, but NEVER buy them for myself. I am glad you thought ahead for me! (Paige)

I am going to have to have ds transfer the CD onto my mp3 player. (Christine) It is so soothing and uplifting and as you know EXACTLY my style of music!! hug.gif

And I SOOO would have worn my HOPE shirt (Sue) if this had come a day earlier!!! We had a school hoe-down today and we very hot in the gym...it would have been more preferable than my 'duds' I was a-wearing, puhd-ner.

You are amazing women, oh my goodness!!! You have touched my heart (and dh) like you would never know! I stand in awe of you love for a cyber-sister. You KNOW I will think of the whole group when I use any one of these most precious gifts.

As I wrote to my principal this morning...how do you say thank you for something like this...you can't! Just know that you have helped make my journey sweeter and lighter.

Incredible day at PRE

God is SOOO good!! He put me in the midst of such an incredible group of people at school. Each week I were my Believe shirt. Another campus was selling them to raise money for Relay for Life and I thought it was pretty and bought one for me and Zoe....this was way before my diagnoses. BUT, since my diagnoses, I have worn it each Friday, forgoing my opportunity to wear jeans at school, so I could wear it instead.

Little did I know, but for the past 3 weeks the campus has been planning a surprise for me. Colleen came up with a design for a shirt in my honor. It is pink with a ribbon on it. At PRE is at the top of the ribbon and We Believe along one of the sides of the ribbon hanging down. It is just beautiful!!!

Well, yesterday Donna asked if I'd help with a project Thursday morning since we get there at 6:30. Sure, no problem. Zoe came with us this morning to meet with her friend, Lacey. Anyway, Donna tells me as we get out of her suburban that she is a bad lier, that we don't have a project, but she needs me to stay in my room until she calls me out. OK.

(So instead of talking all morning, I GOT SOMETHING DONE in my room!!!)

I'm stapling things to my back board when the door opens and my team (6 other teachers) and Zoe & Lacey come in with their pink T's. I quickly turn around and start crying! They come in and tell me how much they love me and how much they believe that everything will be OK. Also, that if I'd look around the campus today, I would see that there are MANY people who love me and have been praying for me. (Then they give me my shirt!)

So, I make my way (eventually) down the halls and everyone has on a shirt in my honor!! OMG It is the MOST amazing thing I've ever seen! So, why wear makeup to school!!??

I give hugs to everyone and they are just so supportive. EVERY teacher, every aid, every support person... 100% of the campus bought a shirt! Can I just say that I was floored?! God has just absolutely placed me in the most loving arms.

I am thrilled that Zoe was there today to be a part of this. Thank you Lacey that you made sure you and Zoe were there. That is very special to me.

After school the campus gathered in the gym and took a group picture..I can't wait to post it, it is such an inspiration and an emotion that I cannot describe to know so many are praying for you.

the visitor

I want to write these verses down before I forget them!

from Chuck
$1 - ya just don't even know!!!

from Joyce
Matthew 8:13
Eph. 4:24
2Cor. 1:21
Eph. 1:3
Rom 8:37

and these from Kevin
Acts 19:11-12
Isaiah 53:5
1 Peter 2:24
Ps 107:20
Mark 11:22-24

I have had SUCH a blessed week. I would take me hours to write it all in and it is my bedtime, I MUST get it in before I lose it!

Claiming Healing

The day Chuck came to our house, we claimed healing on my body. The date was February 19, 2007. PRAISE GOD!!!

The Hem

Autumn came to my room today (Mon., Feb. 19, 2007) and said her pastor felt called to come visit with us and that he had a testimony that he wanted to share. I said I'd love to have them come over that evening! So we tidy up after school and wait for them to arrive.

Right on time, Autumn and Chuck (her pastor from Camp Ruby) came and we invited them in to sit and have tea.

Chuck began his testimony and there is NO WAY I could relay the whole thing here...his visit was over 2 hours and OH, how I wished it had been taped! He was from the area and years ago when he was in his late teens or early twenties he was run over (his head) by a ton truck. He was life-flighted to a hospital and so much happened to him, very spiritual. His head was broken in seven different places, his neck was broken, he was not expected to live.

Long story VERY short, he walked out of the hospital 20 days later. X-rays showed the neck was completely healed... Chuck had prayed earnestly the whole while there, but couldn't speak due to the trach in his throat. When the doctors would say, Youth, they sure do heal up quickly, he wanted to shout NO!!!! It is NOT ME!! It is completely the power of God and His healing.

One story he told me was illustrated with a dollar bill. He said I could hand you this dollar bill, but what would you have to do. I said I would have to take it from him, so I did. Now, he said, do you have to ask for the dollar? No, I have it here with me. (Christ in me, with me.)

Chuck did not leave our home until I "got it." He stayed and went into illustration upon illustration of what he went through. During that time, he told us, I have something to say, and if you only know it to be true, you'll be ok. Well, he would talk and talk and I knew that it was "just there" but I couldn't see it. Like, tell me the punch line, get me to the last page so I can see what it is you're saying.

He told us of visions he had while at the hospital. One of him on a tight-rope. He was at one end and Jesus at the other end and Jesus called him across. He began walking very slowly, and once out there away from the confines of being able to fall back and still be safe, he started to sway. He leaned from side to side and until finally he couldn't catch himself from falling. He cursed himself for faltering, and cried that he had let his foot fall. He looked up and saw Jesus smiling and thought to himself, My God, why would you be smiling?! When he looked at his feet again, he saw that the rope had moved and that he had never fallen. The Savior kept him from falling and held him the entire way.

Chuck told us verses of healing and the power of Christ. We debated with him over some of the interpretations. Such as "by His stripes you are healed." We said, yes, spiritually. But he disagreed and said No, HEALED. I told him Yes, I believed that Christ came into me when I was saved. But now, His stripes, the blows that should have fallen on me, He took on. The blows I continue to get today...He took them on Himself.

Then Chuck went to the prayer we pray...Our Father, which art in Heaven, holy is Your Name, on EARTH as it is in HEAVEN. He said that was a powerful word...AS. AS...not similar to, or kinda like, but AS. JUST AS. SAME AS. So, the question was How is it in Heaven? No pain, no crying, peace, where God abides. As there, HERE. Christ in you. Christ there, Christ here. SAME AS. What does this mean, he asks. I say, there is no cancer in Heaven. He moves to sit by me and hold my hand. What does that mean? That Christ is HERE, IN me. He has no cancer in Heaven, He has no cancer here abiding in my body. He took that healing. His stripes have healed me. PRAISE GOD!!!!

He says to keep that, don't lose it, don't look away. Do I believe it? I have to or the Bible is a farce. The promises are not true. He says, You see it don't you? Yes, I do. We rejoice and float in the Hands of our Jesus. I am not to look at anyone else but Him...Jesus.

-------------------

Fast forward... Kevin comes into my room and says He was at his prayer group last night and they had a prayer cloth. The Holy Spirit told him to pray for me and that I was healed. My name is lifted to God and healing was claimed in their midst. Kevin gives me the prayer cloth with the verses that were claimed.

new life...with carrots

Well, I've doing as much research as I can online and through friends, books, DVDs... I've learned and really believe that cancer is NOT genetic!! That was my first shocker. Our eating habits are just passed down from what we see our parents do. Unfortunately, I didn't like my families healthy eating and had my own junk! You name it, if it was something on the "Don't eat this unless you want cancer" list, then obviously I ate it! junk, junk, junk, while the rest of my family ate their veggies!

SO, new life, second chance here. Still don't have an appointment to MDAnderson until mid March, but now that is the GOOD news!! I was kinda upset about it, but no longer!! It is giving me 6 weeks to completely change my eating habits and hopefully shrink, even irradicate my cancer by the time I get there. Do I think this can happen? YOU BET!!

Here's the new me. Keep in mind I am 5'6, 124 pounds now. (Down about 5 in the last couple of months.) So, I am not looking to lose any more weight, but to maintain and exercise.

No longer do I drink anything caffeinated. I never drank coffee, so that wasn't a big deal, and I had already given up Cokes to no-caffeine, no-fat, no-carb sodas...those are out too! No chocolate, no meat, no dairy. Now, I do eat fish because of the Omega-3 in it, but no chicken, steak, or other meats. I'm not suppose to eat packaged foods, but fresh foods.

I am eating lots of fruits, which are great antioxidants to help cleanse me, veggies, which were supposed to be good for me all this time, but I didn't eat cause I just don't like them! So, DH has me on vegetable soup, fish fillets, fruits, fibers, water and lots and lots of green tea.

more later...

Elvis has left the building

I just thank you girls SOOOO MUCH for your encouragement...you just don't know how much it means!!!

I listen to a Christian radio station here KSBJ from Houston, sing along, etc. I told a fellow team member that I can't listen to it anymore cause I cry about every song!! (I DO still listen, not crying as much though!) We talked and she said You know we have to have these valleys to see the mountaintops. I told her, But this is kinda dumb...I feel like I'm on a mountaintop! :oh I've needed to be touched for so long..and I just see good things coming from this. NOOOO I don't want this!! Don't like this at all. The second day back to school after finding out and coming out of WalMart, listening to KSBJ (of course) early morning (I go about 6:00) it welled up in me, grunted, growled, and finally let out some really nice screams. Parked my car, went in and taught. Why I bother with makeup these days...

THat's really been the only time SO FAR!! I HAVE HAVE HAVE to stay humorous to the point of being ludicrous. Several years ago 2nd grade did a skit to Pretty Woman (Roy Orbison) for a talent show thingy. I was the man and the other teachers were the pretty women. I had this AWFUL black wig that was so disgusting with a moustache. It was so corny and the kids got THE biggest kick out of the whole thing. Well....this morning as I was going through the drawers looking for my Valentine decorations I ran across the wig. I ran to the other room where the other teachers were and said, God is so good!!! If I lose my hair to chemo I have backup hair!! They all laughed, cause they just know me. One said, Well, we're friends, and friends don't let other friends wear ugly Elvis hair!

I have to laugh or I wouldn't. Now, on the other hand, PLEEEEZE don't think I'm insensitive to those with breast cancer!!! Never in a million years would I make light of ANYONE who had it!! This is totally and completely directed to ME. My own way, God's gift that He has given me a sense of humor that I am esp. needing right now. Hope that makes sense!

My little girls.

I told Kaci and Abbie this weekend. They already knew I was "very, very sick." Knew I'd have an operation to get rid of the sick germ. I was afraid they'd hear the cancer word from somewhere else, so I decided to tell them.

We gathered on the floor under a comfy blanket and closed the door. I reminded them of how I said I had the sick germ and going to have an operation and they nodded. Then I said the germ was called cancer...had they heard of that before? No, they hadn't.

So, I sheepishly look at the them (they are 9 and 7) and say, Well girls, the germ is my bra (whispered). They giggle. Then I say as I roll my eyes in embarrassment "It's on my....breast!" They giggle. It's called Breast Cancer cause that's where the germ is. So Kaci, the oldest, says, "Boobie Cancer?!" And they giggle! YUP!! BOOBIE CANCER!!

So then I go on with they'll have to make a cut on the boobie, get rid of the cancer, I get to the royal treatment at the hospital, then come home. So Kaci inquires... when they do the operation, what happens if milk comes out!! My eyes got real big and I said, Then I'd be really, really embarrassed!!! But also, I'd be asleep and wouldn't even know it happened...and if it did, the doctors wouldn't say anything...they've seen it all before!!

Then, of course, we talked about being in God's care, how everyone is praying, and how great it was that the doctor found it so we could get it taken care of. They left with a good feeling...the same I have, that it will be OK. I told them they'd be sad too sometimes, cause no one likes when someone else is sick, just like Papa and I pray when THEY are sick and we are sad when THEY are sick.

My concern is that they are NOT to be scared.

promises

I don't want to forget some AWESOME promises I've read in the last couple of days.

Ps. 118:18 The Lord chastened me sorely, but not unto death.

Ps. You will see your children's children. (I esp. love this one!!)

Remember me?

I'm Jo, 40 years old, turning 41 in May. I have just celebrated my 20 anniversary with DH in December. We have 4 awesome kiddos: Zach, a senior in hs, Zoe, a sophomore, Kaci, 4th, and Abbie, 2nd. We've also had two losses. I live in SE Texas and teach 2nd grade to a great group of kids in THE MOST awesome school!!!